A Night To Remember*

Mark,

Do U have any thoughts on this? have U ever been recognized in public? if so, how did U react? is it ok or is it scary?
 

Mark_Allen
moderator
Member # 372
posted March 25, 2002 05:04 PM

Dear Astroboy_13,

    Yes, I have and no it's not so scary in fact it totally rules! The last time I can remember it happening was when me, Gregory and Sammy were go-go dancing at this old fogie gay club in Atlanta called the "The Black Hole of Irrelevance" - their slogan was "Their Ain't a T-cell Within a 10 Mile Radius!" and the place is a fucking dump. The club was only paying us $100 each so we were pretty pissed and they also only put MY name on the advertisements - it said something like "From NYC! Mark Allen and friends!" so of course this had the highly unstable Sammy and easily enraged Gregory pissed as Hell at me and the world - and I was pretty pissed too - and our rage was only hightened by the fact that we were doing angel dust and highballs in the rented van driving straight from NYC to Atlanta at about 140mph (we made it in one night - the night of the gig) and we finally sped at full throttle, engine smoking, frame rattling, into the parking lot of Atlanta's "The Black Hole of Irrelevance" - ground zero - without touching the brakes once. We were late as fuck so we thought we'd better hurry on in. We didn't stop at all and we crashed our van into the glass front of the club - doors splintering and metal everywhere. There were hundreds and hundreds of queeny old men waiting for us inside, mostly in wheelchairs that didn't move too quick. One guy got a shard of glass right through his fucking head. Fuck him. He was in the way and we were high.
    I was sucking up liquid drano and Johnny Walker with clonazepam chasers for the last eight hours so you could imagine I was pretty out of it when one grandpa wobbled over to me with a pen and copy of an old magazine and lisped with glee "Wiw you thign thith Mark Allen!? I jutht luv yer webthite!" I was pissed with puke gobbling out my nose but excited to be recognized so I jammed the pen through his eye socket, through the magazine and pinned him to the wall. This made Gregory and Sammy insane with white hot jealous hate so needless to say we were ready to do our act. I hit the stage and some 100 year old lootch in an iron lung grabbed my crotch and whipped out my massive boa which was cool because I had a hard fucking on. I just looked at him through the little window of his iron lung and said "Bone Meal". It was the last thing he ever did - he was lucky to die! The geriatric audience roared with screams of terror and threw their fuzzy navel glasses at us as we ripped the carcass of the iron lung whore to shreds and then sent his iron lung crashing into the DJ booth, smashing the teeth and brains out of some drag mess as she was trying to scream "STOP THE SHOW!" into a microphone. Too bad for her.
    Sammy was carving his initials into some fan's saggy butt cheeks, then sucking out the blood and spitting it into Gregory's laughing gomp. Pretty soon Sammy, out of his mind on dust and goofballs started frugging on top of the bar, bashing the glass behind it with his monstrously over-engorged rod and flipping the bartender the bird before he turned around and spread cheeck and drowned him in a river of bloody butt spooge and laughed a hyena cackle while he did it. It was cool. We had missed rehearsal but fuck it man who fucking fuck needs it. We let everyone in for free and sliced the heads of the wussy sticks who worked at this toilet hole and then played catch and frisbee with their brains. It was time to go on again so I tied up and shot shit heroin into my arm and Sammy and Gregory mainlined mayonnaise. I was boned and ready to motor. I pried the microphone out of the pile of goo that was once the drag queen's head - it was covered in teeth, hair, blood and lipstick - and I stuck the mic immediatefuckingly up my ass and screamed "WE'RE GONNA KILL ALL YOU MUTHERFUCKING NIGGAS!!!" Sammy was so gone at this point he was literally fucking himself in the corner, levitating mid-air while two old men fisted his gaping, frothing mouth. Gregory was blindly bashing audience menmber's heads with the mic stand, heads were popping like melons. The few living audience members left ran screaming and bloody for their lives for the exit doors. Then I hung a noose over the DJ booth and commited suicide and all went black.