4/1/02:
No dreams again.
4/2/02:
There is some weird
game show or something - like a reality game show - where these female
prison inmates who are little-size, like Barbie doll size, are attached
to each other with these strands of ripped cloth and hung suspended in
the centers of these cardboard boxes. Then the boxes are shut. There are
three little inmate females in each box and the two boxes are going to
be left on a lush, remote, tropical island. The tiny women are in competition
- the last one to leave each box gets $1,000,000 and a pardon from their
prison sentence. That's the prize. It seems really rough - they can't leave
the box and they can do anything to each other inside the boxes to try
and make the other contestants leave, things the audience members and judges
won't be able to see because the boxes will be shut. Yikes! As they are
being tied up and put in the boxes one of the big normal size people is
saying to the tiny size female prisoner game show contestants "Now you
be sure and holler and give me a signal if one of you gals has a seizure!"
and one pretty blond tiny size female prisoner game show contestant says
"Oh I sure will! I'm scared!" and then one tougher, fatter, butcher and
all around dyke-y-looking tiny size female prisoner game show contestant
snarls "Ain't nuthin' gettin' me outta the chance at that million dollars
and shot at outta the slammer! Tie me up dammit!!!"
Then the boxes
are sealed and placed on a beautiful beach and it's all quiet for a long
time. I'm now on that same island, on the beach with someone I think is
Domenic
but maybe not. We are in this beautiful alcove that has trees next to us
and a waterfall. It's so beautiful it seems unreal. We are in these puffy
sleeping bags and it looks like we are going to sleep. But the sun is still
out. Soon, near the waterfall, we see these amazing creatures hovering
near the stream at the base of the waterfall. They look like chickens with
no legs, they hover and float above the ground, and their feathers are
bright fluorescent pink. Their necks stop short of where a head would be
- like the head had been cut off, and there is a bright yellow little thing
that looks like a fan - with spinning plastic blades - that blows air inside
the creature's body and allows it to float. The fan also seems to have
cute little eyes and maybe something that looks like an octypus beak on
it somewhere. The creatures make sounds like a cat purring. They are amazing
and beautiful. Domenic and I are like "Whoa! Look at those things! What
are they!? Wow!" and we are watching them hover around the water.
Soon one of the
creatures comes over to us and seems to be apprehensively investigating
us. I am real still and the creature comes near me and is kind of "floating"
around my head and "sniffing" me. I can feel the air from it's fan neck
thing as it gets near my skin. Domenic is really amazed that it's so close
to me and keeps whispering "Don't move!" At one point the creature seems
to feel safe with me and his yellow neck fan plug thing kind if unfurls
like a turtle's head coming out of it's neck and the little beak thing
extends out and looks like a little toucan's beak. The creature is communicating
with me and telling me I need a haircut.
Then the creature
leads me around the "corner" of the alcove and I see that behind the alcove
is this hallway and carpet and windows and offices and stuff. The entire
island thing was a fake set somewhere in a sound studio. It's a sound stage.
Everything's all gray and dark and dusty with harsh fluorescent lighting.
The place is deserted except me and the creature - I guess Domenic is still
sitting in his sleeping bag in the fake lush tropical island alcove waterfall
set. The creature makes me sit in this barber chair and starts cutting
my hair. The creature is always floating behind me as he cuts my hair,
so I can't really see it. The creature starts whispering to me real secret-like
that it is a creature from another universe from a far-off dimension far
in the universe's' future. The creature says it can share all kinds of
valuable information with me, like amazing scientific and medical facts
from the advanced alien races of the future universe - facts that could
revolutionize human life on earth in fantastic and positive ways. I say
"Oh yea! OK then start talking." and then as the creature is clipping the
back of my hair it is explaining some amazing geometry math problem and
causing this blue 3-D diagram of the problem to appear in my head so I
can "see" it as it explains it to me. The creature is saying "Any powerful
world government would pay trillions of dollars to get this information
so be careful" and I'm all like "Whoa!"
Then out of nowhere
some guy in army fatigue pants walks into the area we are in. For some
reason I know his name is Frank. He is either some kind of contestant on
the game show or he works there. He looks like he just woke up and he is
carrying an empty coffee mug like he's going to get some coffee. He has
what looks like grease paint all over his face, although I think it may
be Queen Helene's Mint Julip Face Masque. As he walks by us he dry-ly says
"Oh God Mark! I wouldn't let one of those things cut your hair! Don't listen
to a word it says to you!" and he grins as he says this and the creature
drops it's scissors on the floor and says "Hey cut it out Frank! You liar!"
and Frank says "YOU'RE the liar!" and laughs and then the creature is all
offended. Then some woman appears from behind me, looking like she just
woke up and is looking for coffee and says to Frank "Oh Frank you're such
a grouch in the morning!" and everyone is all kidding around and laughing
like they are at work.
Then I am on some
street walking along and I kind of "see" my friend Nathan. Nathan
is saying to me "You know what's so sad about growing old? Well when you're
young, other young people pay attention to you, and old people ignore you.
But then when you get old, young people ignore you AND other old people
still ignore you! Everyone ignores you!" and I am thinking about this.
Then I seem to
be in some apartment and my friend Robert calls me from his new
downtown Manhattan apartment. I haven't spoken to him in a long time, since
he moved into his new place, and we are talking and at one point he says
"Hold on..." and gets off the phone and then it's a really long time before
he gets back and I wonder if the line is dead.
Then I'm in some
rich guy's house and he is telling me about how he loves the taste of cheap
beer.
4/3/02:
No dreams.
4/4/02:
No dreams.
4/5/02:
I am on a bus with a bunch of hostages being taken to control central of some massive hostage situation/crime area. I am being taken to an area where some super criminal asian guy is holding people hostage for lots of money. For some reason I get the impression that we are the "second shift" of hostages. Like the first group is off for the day and we are the replacements. As we are leaving the building where we live to be taken to the crime area, one girl is talking about whether the super criminal guy will shoot us or not. One guy says "He is demanding 15 million for each hostage." and she says "Yea but if he shoots you, he can eventually collect 90 million for each!" This gets me really scared and I am really apprehensive on the bus. When we get to the crime area, the other hostages leave and get on the bus we just arrived on and we walk into the building. The asian guy makes us all sit indian style on the concrete floor of this big room. We are sitting in two long rows and are facing each other. The asian guy is walking around with a gun in his hand. I can tell he is contemplating whether to kill us or not. I'm scared. In front of me there is a big black circle drawn with magic marker and inside the circle are marbles and little kids' toys.
4/6/02:
I vaguely remember some scenario where me and a friend (it may have been Gregory) were beside some crowded traffic jam or some place where a bunch of cars were parked and everyone was out of their cars looking at something in the sky. My friend and I, depending on what that something in the sky did, kept taking out objects from our car, and then putting them back in, over and over, back and forth and out and in in different combinations - always doing it in accordance with what the thing in the sky did or "said". The objects included a Persian throw rug, marbles, and boxes of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese and other stuff. I got the impression that we were kind of "mocking" the thing in the sky as we did all this... like we were messing with it and laughing while we did it.
4/7/02:
No dreams.
4/8/02:
All I remember is some scenario where I saw an asian gitl on Ludlow street wearing a white t-shirt that had black letters on it that may have said "Itchy City".
4/9/02:
I'm WAAAY too busy today to type my dream. I'll do it later if I have time (and don't forget it by then!) Read some old ones. They're freaky.
I never found the time and then I forgot it.
4/10/02:
I'm staying in some
huge house with a bunch of people I don't know. It's an old two story Victorian-style
house in the back, and in the front it looks like the entrance to two Motel
6 rooms connected together. In the back is a huge porch - and our backyard
has a row of old trees in the back and behind that is a massive empty field.
Domenic
seems to live with us.
I seem to be making
a batch of my "special soup" for everyone that lives in the house. It's
this combination of chicken meat and all these vegetables and spices boiled
up in this giant pot on the stove. Everyone is excited to eat my soup and
they are all doing there own things in the house (watching TV, in the bathroom
blow drying their hair) as I prepare it in the house's massive kitchen.
The kitchen has a gray and pink checkerboard tile floor and white wood
cabinets and old 50's style appliances. Not retro-looking stuff but real
antiques. I seem to keep my special soup in a giant Ziplock baggie in the
freezer, pre-made, and then I just take it out and boil it up. I go over
to the freezer and get out the giant bag of soup. It's big. REALLY big.
It looks like a children's plastic backyard swimming pool that has been
rolled up like a joint and crammed into the freezer. I take it out and
try to unroll the massive thing. The frozen soup contents seem to all be
at one end of the massive frozen thing that is rolled into the center.
It seems to have thawed instantly as I get it out of the freezer. It is
very. very large and only getting bigger as I unroll it. It is very awkward
and I am banging stuff in the kitchen with it. It's like the size of a
parachute.
I drag the massive,
heavy baggie of frozen soup out onto the porch and backyard to get more
room to work with. The baggie is now in the shape of a giant ring or doughnut.
The soup is all collected in one area. It is the size of ten parachutes
and is very heavy and I can't seem to get it situated to where I can get
the soup out. I am yelling from the back yard to people inside "Help please!
A little help here!? We're not going to get any soup if I can't get this
done! Hello!?" but everyone is ignoring me. I am out in the backyard and
the sun is setting - it's really quite beautiful out there - the dusk sunset
poking through the trees and the big field all glowing with the sunset.
I am still awkwardly trying to get the thing unrolled but it's a nightmare
because it's so huge. It starts to pour rain. I am scared the soup is not
going to get wet or the giant bag is going to fill with water and dilute
the soup or the soup will wash into the grass.
I see Domenic come
outside. He is dressed to go to work. I am huffing and puffing with the
bag in the rain and I'm like "Help! Domenic help me get a hold of this!"
and he says "Hello Mr. Allen!" in this chirpy but condescending voice and
then he says "Are you having a problem?" and I go "Yes! Help! Help me gut
this giant bag up or we won't have soup tonight!" and he's like "Well we
wouldn't want that to happen! I am going to work but I don't want anyone
to miss out on your wonderful soup." and he starts lazily kicking part
of the bag with his foot as he opens up his umbrella. It isn't helping
at all.
4/11/02:
I know my dream
last night was very long but this is the only part I remember:
I was with some
guy and we were on some long trip or something. We stopped from traveling
in this mall (I think) and I went to go use the rest room. I was carrying
my backpack and luggage with me. I went into the men's room and it was
these gigantic two rooms connected by a little hallway. Each room had bathroom
stalls, urinals and sinks and mirrors lining the walls. I went to the stall
all the way in the far corner of the second room (that was next to a frosted
window that looking into the inside of the mall). There are three guys
standing by the stall, two black and one Latino. They look really shifty.
We are the only people in there. Why I chose a stall next to three guys
standing talking in one giant empty bathroom where all the others are empty
is beyond me. I go into the stall with all my bags and stuff. I sit down
on the toilet but I don't go to the bathroom, I just start arranging my
bags and these stacks of money that I have inside pockets in my shirt and
pants. Suddenly I realize that the three guys are going to rob me. I hear
them trying to get the stall door open and saying that they "have a knife"
and are "gonna take all my cash." I panic and don't know what to do. Why
did I come this far inside the bathroom away from the entrance next to
three shady looking strangers? I mean what did I think might happen? I
freaking out and they soon have the door open and are like "Come on out!"
and I see there are other men coming into the bathroom and going inside
individual stalls (far from us) and not paying us any mind. These other
guys are in business suits. I'm thinking "Should I just do what they say
and give them my money? Do they really have a knife? There's three of them!"
Suddenly I see this security guy with long hair and wearing a yellow rain
slicker walk up and flash a badge, he proceeds to arrest the three muggers.
Behind the security guy is my traveling friend. He's like "Are you OK?
I heard you were in trouble and contacted mall security!" I so glad to
see him and we're walking out of the bathroom and I'm thinking about what
an adventure it was.
4/12/02:
I'm really busy
lately. I will have to come back and type this entry later. But here are
my notes:
Inside movie theater
with loud kids.
Writing note with
colored magic markers to guy, dumping him, and leaving it in movie bathroom
changing word "love" to "like". Somehow know he will find it... someone
will... what a weird gamble.
Two short Mexican
people gathering Star Wars movie flyers inside bathroom, hoping to win
tickets to premier.
Loud kids loose
snake in theater. But it's NOT a snake!
Manager of theater
kicks me out, I buy ticket again and just walk back in.
In crowd outside
weird home pointing out to my mom weird little person being worked
on by EMT people - look like living doll. Very creepy.
At Curtis'
house in Texas but now. Visiting weird family and woman with melting skin,
she can't go out again because of her melting skin.
With Gregory
living in big building. We are making out on couch, actually kissing. He
may move to Guam or Tahiti to get bartender work. Says it will "be near
Los Angeles".
4/13/02:
Again too busy to
type dream, but here are notes:
Living in hybrid
of grandparent's house. Have own "wing" of house. Worried about
security at night. Always running around looking at room after room of
recording equipment in my wind of house. Floors are all made of dirt like
grandpa's shed. Go to back hallway with guy and see there is a shed door
only locked with a little latch. Has been open like that forever - shocked.
I keep a bike in
my living quarters, am scared it will be stolen.
Place house is
in is hybrid of Plano, Texas.
Walking to store
that unknown guy I have crush on (in dream not real life) works at. Walking
down street and see him sitting on bench outside while girl inside tends
store. Through reflection in glass see I have a bright red pea coat on
with collar turned up.
4/14/02:
I am at Gregory's
apartment. His apartment looks the same but has more rooms and seems to
change as the dream goes on. His building is different. His apartment seems
to be in this weird building that has all these strange shaped apartments
full of young college-age kids who look like they are in art school. All
the apartments are decorated really weird - with colored lights and weird
colored painted walls and stuff. At one point I am taking a shower in Greg's
apartment and he is gone. He comes back into the apartment wearing normal
clothes and a hood that you would see attached to a down winter coat -
you know the kind that snaps on - except he is wearing no coat, just the
hood. He has the tassels of the hood pulling the hood tight around his
head like Little Red Riding Hood. As I am getting out of the shower I am
standing there nude and wet and I grab this microphone and start pretending
to sing into this mirror next to the shower. I think no one is in the apartment.
I look and see that Gregory had just walked in when I started singing.
I am worried and embarrassed that he might have seen me but then realize
I don't care and think it's funny.
Gregory is laying
on the floor near the door and saying "Oh my god Mark! You are not going
to believe what just happened! I almost died! When I walked in and you
were dancing there naked in front of the mirror - this tassel on my hood
got caught on the corner of the refrigerator and pulled me back and I was
stuck and was hanging there from the corner of the fridge frantically shaking
my legs because I couldn't reach the floor and gasping and gurgling for
help as I was choking to death! Didn't you see me!?"
"No I didn't" I
say. I wonder if he is making the whole thing up to cover the fact that
he might have seen me lip synch-ing in front of his mirror even though
I don't care but I think he might.
"Well I somehow
came loose and here I am on the floor!" he says. He keeps the hood on and
starts doing something in the apartment with a hammer - like he's fixing
the place up. I look over behind him and see he has added these really
shoddy looking shelves on the slanted wall underneath a staircase. The
shelves are made with broken and bent foam core and are sloppily painted
red on top and are held in place by these little sticks. I see that underneath
the stairs is painted red too. It reminds me of that secret "red room"
underneath the stairs in the movie "The Amityville Horror".
4/15/02:
I am around the
set of this game show that is being filmed over the period of a week in
a theme bar in some suburban city. The show consists of these 10 straight
20-something people that sit at the bar and answer questions as they drink
drinks and eat pretzels and stuff. There are equal girls and guys and they
all look sexy and flirt a lot and stuff. The bar is this oval shape in
the center of the room and the place has deep blue industrial carpet, white
drywall, a piano and player on another level, chrome railing on the landings,
a snack bar and neon sculptures in the shape of palm trees. The place seems
to only have Pakistani guys in Hawaiian shirts working there. There is
also this photography booth where these two Paki guys will take a "professional"
portrait photo for you. Like one of those photos where there is a gray
background and there is a half body shot of you and then a close-up of
your face kind of "faded" onto the right side of the composition and then
the whole thing is put in a cheesy looking frame.
The game goes on
for several days and every day the contestants show up in sexier and sexier
outfits - always looking tan and stuff. They drink and drink and answer
questions that seem to come out of the walls and form friendships with
the guys working there. Everyone gets friendlier and friendlier as the
week goes on.
I don't know who
wins but once someone does and the game is over and the filming is done
- all of the friendliness instantly goes away. The contestants, as they
are leaving start yelling and screaming at the guys who work the bar and
piano area and snack bar and bathroom and photography area. It seems that
during the filming of the show bad stuff was going on but no one was confronting
anybody because no one wanted to cause trouble and jeopardize the show
getting aired. One guy and girl contestant team is yelling at the guy at
the snack bar very visciously and waving money at him. He is just standing
there with his arms crossed and a show producer is trying to mediate. Two
other contestants are really letting the piano guy and his assistant have
it. They are screaming at him and at one point the piano guy takes all
the money out of his pockets and takes off his watch and throws it all
on the piano in a really angry way. It seems that the contestants think
the piano guy somehow scammed them out of this stuff and it belongs to
them. Two other guys are cussing out the photography guys for the lousy
portrait photographs they took of the two of them. In the photography area
there is this cylindrical kiosk where the portraits are displayed and I
can see several portraits of the two guys - the ones they must be complaining
about. The portraits have the two guy's heads in the center of a really
empty frame and they are kind of squashed together in a really bad way.
Like airbrushed together really poorly. It looks funny. Everyone is yelling
and screaming and some really bad shit is going down and the producers
and tech guys from the show are trying to calm everyone down. When the
contestants finally do leave they hold the door open and scream inside
the place as they walk out and the producers just stand there with their
clipboards looking dumbfounded.
Then my "dream
eye camera" kind of does this long pull back crane shot thing where I can
now see the outside of the bar from overhead - kind of. I see one of the
female contestants walk out of the bar. It's a sunny day. She looks like
a little drawing. Maybe like an Edward Gorey drawing. She walks out and
she has her arms raised in the air and is wailing and crying and seems
totally distraught. She is walking zig-zag on the street and saying "Oh
kill me! Kill me now!" then she says "Oh I want this street to open up
a portal to Hell and swallow me up and Satan take me down right now! Just
do it! *sob* Oh just let it happen! I don't want to live and I want to
go to Hell!" Then - it happens. I see this little oval open up in the street
and it's all burning red inside. Then it kind of opens wide and the whole
thing envelops the street and the woman falls in. The whole thing looks
like a drawing - like the woman contestant kind of did. I see the woman
now fall through Hell with all it's red hot stalactites and cave formations
and then she lands on the ground in Hell. What I am looking at now is %100
cartoon animation. The woman lands on this red cliff with a throne - the
throne of Satan - on it. She lands facing away from the throne and is bent
over in a kind of fetal position and is weeping and seems resigned to the
whole situation. On the throne is sitting Satan - but he looks nothing
like you'd expect. He looks like a cross between the Pillsbury Doughboy
and one of those little white Japanese characters you see with a white
ghost-like body and big eyes and a round mouth - like those little animated
things that move on web pages. It almost has a Hello Kitty face. I see
the soft, white Satan thing start to get up and walk to the woman. I realize
that what I am watching is still a TV show and that the writers of the
show thought it would be a clever "twist" to portray Satan in this way,
like it would be something the viewers wouldn't expect.
4/16/02:
Once again I'm too busy today to write the whole dream, but here are my notes... maybe I'll come back and fill them in later:
I am in really nice
suburban city I don't recognize that is sometimes New York and also sometimes
Plano, Texas.
I am in a relationship
with Amy Sedaris, we are engaged.
She has a fantastic
house and is always busy in it cleaning and stuff. We seem to be working
on projects and stuff, always discussing them.
Her brother comes
to visit her and he is this John Zorn-type avant guard musician. He just
got back from an overseas gig. We are talking to him about his music and
he has this microphone and we say "Let's sing into it and you can play
noisy guitar!" and he goes "OK what song?" and he pulls out a saxophone
instead of a guitar. Me and Amy start screaming the words to Dolly Parton's
"I Will Always Love You" into the mic in a nonsensical way.
Weird friends of
hers come by.
We go for walk
in summer, sunny streets. She is on cell phone being interviewed.
She takes me to
gay cafe. I think there are gay guys there that recognize me. Amy spins
me around on this table. It's like a romantic scene from a movie. We are
so in love!
We go to Plano
Senior High lawn and we "see" Madonna filming her video for "Live
To Tell" as it is happening - like it was filmed there in the past and
we can kind of "see" it. Sometimes Madonna is Christina Applegate.
Her hair is computer-aided blurry. I think "What Madonna does is very difficult".
The great pond
area of Plano Senior has been made to look like the colonial west. I say
to Amy "See how they made Central Park look like the colonial west for
the video? See the rooftops in the background?" even though we are actually
in Plano.
Then I go to "work".
I am a radio DJ with Gregory. We have a show. I am in the studio looking
at list of words we wrote for a script and the radio programmers edited.
They crossed out the word "goy" on the script. Gregory begins talking
on the microphone about the station "censors" and how lame they are and
soon this weird little pattern of gold lights appears in front of him and
starts moving. The producer comes on the intercom and says "I wanted you
to 'open up' what you were talking about [meaning - stop insulting the
people at the station and referring to them by name] so when you see this
pattern of lights then 'open up'."
The pattern of
lights is in the shape of a vagina.
We see the station
producer in his office and he is a Hasidic jew.
4/17/02:
No dreams.
4/18/02:
The only thing I remember from last night's dream was this weird scenario that was from the TV show "The Simpsons" - except it was not one that existed on the show - just in my head. I see Bart and Lisa in their backyard. The are seperated by a fence and Lisa is in the next door neighbor's yard, I guess the Flanders' yard. There is something that looks like a door mat draped over the fence and it has a big brown stain on it. Lisa is walking away from Bart as if she had just turned around. She is walking away from the fence and Bart is yelling towards her something about pies. I think Lisa is carrying a pie.
4/19/02:
I am in some living
situation with Jim Morrison from the TV show "The Mole". We live
inside some fantastic house that looks just like Sigourney Weaver's house
in the movie "Copycat". But the house seems to be a dormitory at a college.
It is like I was assigned Jim as a roommate and this giant house is our
room.
We are laying on
our separate beds in the upstairs bedroom and are both working on laptop
computers. He is asking me about some word that he doesn't know the definition
of. I am looking up the definition on my computer and then I tell him.
I have this really anticipatory feeling that he will ask me for another
word definition. I go down to the kitchen to make a sandwich with peanut
butter and white Wonder bread.
4/20/02:
No dreams.
4/21/02:
I am sleeping with Sid in his basement apartment. As we sleep I see these images of people's heads and bodies appearing above ours. They are reaching out to us as we sleep. They are like ghosts. It's really creepy.
4/22/02:
No dreams.
4/23/02:
I'm at Courtney
Love's house. He house seems to be an apartment inside this complex
inside Collin Creek Mall in Plano, Texas. Gregory is there with
me. The house/apartment looks like combinations of other people's apartment's
I have known through the years. Everything in the apartment is super-nice
and expensive. The sun is coming in through the apartment windows and making
all kinds of weird patterns on the beige carpet floor. The room is really
bright. Greg and I are doing stuff in the living room like switching through
the channels on the TV and pulling books out and spreading the on the floor
and drawing on pieces of paper. It's like we are two little kids. At one
point I am drawing on this giant piece of watercolor paper with this giant
chunk of black charcoal. I am making a drawing of one of the pillows on
the upholstered couch, where Gregory is sitting and playing in the sunlight.
I am trying to use the charcoal to get the shading on the pillow just right.
I am on the floor.
Suddenly Courtney
comes in and she stops in front of me and has her back to me kind of turns
her head down to look at my drawing, the way you would turn your head to
look at something lying on the ground behind you that is also upside down,
and she says "Charcoal on a chamois rug?" I don't seem to know how 'chamois'
is spelled in my dream because when she says it I see the word 'chamis'
in my head. I look down and lift up the paper - I see a huge pile of black
charcoal dust that has come of the left side of the paper and is all over
the carpet. Oops. It's like a giant, pancake-sized stain. I stand up and
go into the kitchen where Courtney is and apologize and tell her I'll clean
it up. I expect her to be really pissed and throw one of her famous tantrums
or whatever but she doesn't. She just starts handing me these cleaning
products and telling me the best way to get the charcoal dust off the carpet
without staining it. She seems very relaxed and resigned about the whole
thing. She gets down on her knees with a wet towel and starts scrubbing
the giant pile of charcoal dust into the carpet. I think this is a bad
idea but am like "OK whatever!" After she does this she stands up and now
the stain is really big and wet but is lighter in color. She hands me some
product in a white and blue plastic bottle and says the name of the product
and points to the instructions on the bottle with her fingernail and says
"OK now... just spray this white foam over the stain and let it sit there
for like 2o minutes and then scrub it up with a mop. It should come right
up!" and then she walks into the bedroom. Gregory was sitting on the couch
watching us stand there. I'm like "OK" to Courtney as she walks into the
other room and I take the product in my hand.
Then I take my
drawing of the pillow AND I take the pillow itself, and the bottle of cleaning
stuff and I walk outside the apartment. I am going to walk home. I am walking
through the inside of Collin Creek Mall and am thinking about what just
happened, and am glad I was able to clean up the stain. Suddenly I think
"Wait... I never cleaned the stain at all! I just left!" Now I'm at the
food court (which is near my apartment - apparently - and very far from
Courtney's) and I stand there holding my drawing and her pillow and the
bottle of cleaning stuff and I think about what I should do. I decide to
call her and explain that I left without putting the foam on the stain
because I was just being really air-headed. I seem to have a cell phone
attachment thing now on my head and I call her number. Gregory picks up
the phone. I say to Gregory "Hi! Is Courtney around?"
4/24/02:
In bedroom of strange
house and am taking a weird drug. Other people there, hippie types. Drug
makes my two big toes glow red like a light inside them, and two toes next
to that glow orange/yellow. They look like Rudolph the Reindeer's noses.
Hippie guy is amazed and watching. I'm sitting in my bed taking pictures
of it. It's dusk ot twilight. I keep taking pictures of my toes while the
hippie guy watches.
Now I'm at some
kind of nightclub, night is winding down, everyone is going home. Porn
star Brad Hunt is there - but it looks nothing like Brad Hunt. He
asks if I would like to go home with him. I say yes and we get in a taxi.
It is nighttime and I think we are in Chicago. The taxi driver keeps asking
us to help him figure out how to get around. We finally say something rude
to him. He pulls into parking lot of donut store and gets out and gets
something to eat while we wait in car and he leaves meter running. A news
woman inside store sees what's going on and comes and interviews us with
her cameraman about being victims of the "Rude Taxi Driver's" scandal.
Then Brad disappears
and I am in some weird situation inside the bathroom of a childhood home
I had. I seem to be putting together paintings and records in there with
some Japanese guy who's an artist or musician. I am working for some magazine
in Manhattan and this is my home office - this bathroom I used to have
as a teenager. The Japanese guy is in there with me telling me what painting
to add to what record. I am on the phone with the magazine editor.
I go to magazine
in NYC. The guy who hired me isn't around and the editor needs to see him
right away. Everyone is asking all frantic about his whereabouts and they
are all looking at me like I would know where he is. I go into the bathroom
of office. I open the medicine cabinet and hundreds of make-up compacts
and eye contact carrying cases fall out of the shelves and all over the
sink and floor and toilet. I try to carefully put them all back. As I do
this old lady - real hard New Yorker type - who's a receptionist at the
office - comes on the intercom in the bathroom and says to me "Mark...
I don't know what's going on or where he is but this is a great opportunity
for you! I mean... I've never done any writing but..."
Then I'm back at
the donut store with the whole office crew. This is our meeting place.
We are all gathered around a table having a meeting about the new issue.
It is nighttime. There is some cute guy who works there who is flirting
with me. We go off into the night and start doing all this stuff: touring
an abandoned hospital, running with cars on the freeway, hitchhiking rides
in 18 wheeler trucks, making out in a deserted park... but we are also
running errands for the magazine. Soon it's morning and we have to go back
to the donut store for the morning magazine meeting. The guy tells me "I
have to go meet this other guy and go to some bars and get drunk and get
into fights before our meeting in a few hours." He goes off and I feel
kind of hurt. I go to the meeting.
I go to the meeting
and as I am there the cute guy, whom I realize now is Adam Horovitz,
sits down next to me and smiles at me. He must have had a good time without
me. I start thinking about his career as a Beastie Boy and his sexuality..
Then I'm in this
big giant waiting room made entirely out of gray concrete. It is a dentist's
office waiting room. Ally Sheedy is in there with me. The dentist
comes out and talks to us. He is a giant plastic Mr. Potato Head-looking
creature that floats in the middle of the room. It floats in and says "Next!"
in a loud cartoon=y voice. It has all this black soot and chunks of black
charcoal in it's plastic teeth. I think this is supposed to represent tooth
rot. The mouth keeps going up and down really fast and lots of dust from
the floor keeps getting kicked up into it. I realize it's just a prop on
a prop head and not real tooth decay - for some reason this had me worried.
Ally stands up and shakes her finger in an accusatory way at it like "You
aren't a real dentist at all!"
4/25/02:
I live in a strange
town made up of all these concrete buildings seperated by lush, rolling
green hills. There are gravel roads connecting everything. It reminds me
(in an abstract way) of my high school campus in Texas. It is Spring time.
I seem to work in one building and live in another. My mom, dad
and brother seems to be there, as well as other people I have known,
including this girl I knew in college named Cathy and her boyfriend
at the time Lance.
Me and a group
of people seem to work at this one store that has tons of merchandise,
all over the place, it's a really crowded store. When we leave the store
one evening I am up at the register counting money that is mine and taking
these little toys out of the register drawer. The managers, two fat people,
are complaining to each other about us as workers and then keep looking
at me and saying "Oh not you honey! We don't mean you!" I keep getting
the stuff and paper-clipping these yellow receipts to them. I see lots
of other groups of things with receipts clipped to them. I seem to know
I will never be returning to this place. There is some wacky guy that works
with us that is a drug addict and collects used sex toys or something like
that that he finds in the trash and makes sculptures out of them. He is
leaving, walking from the back of the store to the front exit and he has
all these things stuffed under his shirt. He is acting inconspicuous in
an obvious/comical way. The two store owners just stand there and watch
and are like "Will you look at that?" I see he is stealing stuff and I
just watch him walk past me. I look up on the counter and see this dildo
and a rubber Alfred Hitchcock mask that he forgot (or I think he would
want). I grab both and look at the two fat owners as I walk out and smile
real big and say "Evening ladies!"
Then I go out into
the parking lot with Cathy and Lance, who are waiting in the car, and I
see the drug sex toy sculpture guy. He has all the stuff in his shirt and
is like "What a haul!" and he looks really happy. I throw the dildo and
Alfred mask in the car and say "You can't fit all that stuff in the car"
and he says "Yea I'm gonna walk home I'll meet you there." I drive us home
and Cathy and Lance are acting all nodded out like heroin addicts who just
had a fix. We all get home and there is some fat bearded guy working on
all these computers in our living room.
I see the drug
sex toy sculpture guy in his bedroom, which has a giant window that looks
out onto a sunny street of what I think looks like Paris.
Then I am in another
one of the buildings with my family. I am looking at these photographs
that have been taken of other photographs. The photos are of photos that
were hanging on a wall many years ago. It was a wall that had a giant collage
of photos of the insides of different houses I lived in as a child. Since
it looks like someone took a camera and just randomly took photos of this
wall, some up close, some far away, some in focus and some not, it is hard
to make out the photos of the photos - or what's on the photos the photographer
was photographing. I have no idea where the original photo wall is now.
I am looking at the blurry photos trying to make out identifiable details
of the interiors of houses I lived in. I see on that I think might be a
staircase I remember, one vague one that looks like a wall or window I
think I recognize. It frustrating. My mom and brother are in the room talking
to me about it. My mom is sitting on the stairs.
Then I am walking
down the carpeted passageway in a big airport. A huge, wide, white halwayy
that curves convex-ly like a bridge arch. It has deep blue industrial carpeting
and as we walk along sometimes we come across vast windows where we can
see giant boarding areas. I am planning a camping trip with my dad. We
are talking and walking and working out all the details of the trip and
my dad seems to be planning every hour on the trip and what we will be
doing in that hour. I interrupt him at one point and say "Now dad, is this
going to be one of those trips where you plan EVERY SINGLE SECOND and what
we will be doing?" and he looks kind of disappointed and says "Well yes!"
and I say something that hints that I'm not going to go and he looks kind
of disappointed but proud that he is perceived as someone who over-plans
things. Like gleaming stubborn pride disguised as disappointment or something.
Then I am outside
one of the buildings I think I live in with my family. It is now
Winter time and all the leaves are off the trees and there is a frozen
river that runs next to our building. It seems, in the dream, that my brother
is retarded or something, and I have to help him sometimes. I am allowed
to walk across the frozen river on my own but whenever my brother wants
to walk across the ice I have to help him. At one point I leave the house
because I am going over to Cathy and Lance's house to go to work. My brother
comes running out of the house and says "Take me across the river! I want
to come across with you!" and I say I can't I have to go to work and he
gets mad and takes his shoes and smashes a little hole in the ice and then
jumps in the water and screams "Look now I'm drowning you HAVE to help
me! Mom says you have to!" I just ignore him and walk to the other side
of the river. I see him, out of the corner of my eye, get out of the water
and go back into the house.
4/26/02:
I think I dreamed something about Mick Jagger and this list of "rules" written with black magic marker on white paper - but that's all I can remember.
4/27/02:
I'm in some weird
part of the country I don't know. I seem to constantly be on the road,
traveling from location to location. I am always stopping at people's homes
and staying for a while, usually people I don't know.
At one point I
seem to be on the road and I am a woman. And also, in the dream, I had
just seen an ad on TV for a horror movie about these specters who hunt
and kill people that are traveling on the road. As I am driving around
in my car, I seem to be describing out loud, inside the car, the description
of the killer ghosts to some fat guy with a beard who is living back at
where I was staying earlier. OK this is getting complicated: see, in the
dream I am aware of this film and as I am driving around, there is some
guy who is back at the last place I stayed at, and I am talking to him
either with ESP or by one of those little headphone cell phone thingies
about the ghosts in the film and how they kill their victims. And I am
a woman with thick, long reddish brown hair and lots of layers of colorful
clothes. Things get blurry at certain points, like sometimes I am IN the
movie, like a character who is being hunted by the ghosts. And then sometimes
I can kind of "see" inside this dark movie theater where people are sitting
watching the movie I am talking about and I see the woman that I am pacing
up and down the aisle holding a big bucket of popcorn and looking over
her shoulder and looking frightened - all this while I am describing the
film to the guy while wearing my headphone cell thing while driving. The
film seems to permeate the reality in my dream in several different ways.
Then, I am still
the woman, and I have stopped in some diner and I am sitting at my table
in the little diner (which has yellow walls and little frilly white curtains
on the windows). It is daytime and sunny outside. I see outside the diner
is a dirt parking lot. I am drinking a cup of coffee and am still psychically
communicating with the fat bearded guy back at the house about the movie.
I am getting really dramatic and the other people in the diner probably
think I am talking to myself but oh well. I am telling the guy that in
the movie, there is a central ghost or "boss" ghost who looks kind of like
Freddy Krueger but has long hair and deformed and mangled eyes. This main
ghost sends secondary specters out onto the desolate American landscape
to hunt down people traveling in their cars alone. The specters always
find people that are alone and that are aware of the legend of the ghosts
and that are frightened by it. The victims have to be aware of the ghosts
and their menace in order for the ghosts to be able to capture them. This
is important - the ghosts feed on their target victim's fear and this fear
is always enhanced by the fact that the victims are traveling alone in
a car along the lonely American highways with nothing to do but think so
that their paranoia can grow to a fevered pitch if the victims let their
imaginations get the best of them, which they normally do, and once they
do - boom - the ghosts strike. Then the ghosts pull the victim to a desolate
location and torture them to death and then deliver their tormented soul
to the main ghost - who collects tormented souls.
As I am sitting
at my table telling the guy this through the phone or my brain, I suddenly
remember one important detail and I get really frightened as I say it out
loud. As I say it, suspense-ful music swells behind me in the diner. I
say "Oh... and one more thing... I forgot one important detail... if the
victim is ever sitting inside a very small house, like a little shack or
something, or a restaurant that is just one little room - then the ghosts
will strike. There is something about being inside the walls of a very
small house that allow the killer ghosts FULL ACCESS TO YOU!" and as I
say it I look around at the diner I am in. Is it a small house? It doesn't
look too small... suddenly I see that no one is in the diner but me. Were
the people that worked here ghosts and they tricked me into this place
so they could get me and now they disappeared? Where did everybody go?
To my right I see a large frilly white curtain that leads to outside -
if I open the curtain I will be able to see out into the back of the restaurant
- what's behind it? Oh no... I think (through the curtain) I can see the
outline of a little shack-like house with a thatched roof and a little
chimney? Is it there? I start to push the curtain aside so I can see.
Before I can see...
there is a total scenario and time shift. I am now at some big house that
is near a wooded creak area and that has a lush green lawn. It is nighttime
and there are all these spotlights lighting up the yard. There is dew all
over the grass. The house has many levels and has a big back yard which
is fenced in - but that also opens onto the wooded creek area. This is
one of the places I am staying while on the road. I am no longer the woman
and I am back to being me. I seem to be meeting actor Edward Norton
here for some reason. He is traveling on the road too and we are both stopping
at this house to rest.
Ed finally shows
up and we go into the backyard and talk about a bunch of stuff and we are
playing with all these weird animals that live in the backyard, like weird
little bright green frogs and multi-colored centipede-looking things and
these tubular things that look like jellyfish but that crawl around on
the grass. It seems that each one of these animals, if you watch it and
play with it, will teach you some kind of important moral lesson about
life. I am playing with one frog and the frog creates this little tube
that sticks vertically out of the ground and then goes inside the tube,
crawls inside of it up to the top, then jumps out of the opening on the
top end and back onto the grass. This is supposed to teach me some lesson.
Ed and I keep talking about everything and watching the animals and playing
with them. It is still nighttime and the spotlights are shining on the
dewy green grass as we do.
Then we are inside
the house and we are on the lower level living room and we are in sleeping
bags on the floor and there is a big screen TV on and we are eating stuff
and talking and there seems to be a mom figure in the home who is serving
us cookies and stuff. I never really see the face of the mother figure
but she always seems to be in the background. It's like I'm a little kid
at a sleep-over. Ed and I are talking about our travels and discussing
our lives. Ed is talking about all this weird furniture he wants to build
when he gets back to wherever he is going to. He shows me these drawings
of the plans for the furniture. They are these weird drawings of chairs
and stuff that have these giant spikes on them. We are laughing and stuff
and I am feeling all romantic like I'm really growing fond of Ed. At one
point I kind of "see" Ed and I walking around the rocks in the creek in
the backyard and the sun is rising and we are laughing and goofing off.
Then we are back in the living room on the floor in front of the TV and
it's still night.
Suddenly my
brother and my old Texas art friend David Lamb show up and walk
into the house. They have been traveling on the road as well and are stopping
here to rest. Ed and I get off the floor and greet them. I introduce my
brother to everyone. There is a lot of activity all the sudden and we seem
to be walking all over the house into different rooms and stuff and we
are all talking amongst each other.
Pretty soon it's
morning (although it's still dark outside) and it's time to hit the road
again. Ed needs to ride to New York (which is where we all seem to be going)
with someone now, like his car is busted or something. I had a good time
with Ed and seem to be developing a crush on him, so I offer to take him
with me. He says "No" and that he is going to ride with David. I'm really
disappointed but don't say anything and I meet with David and Ed at the
top of the stairs as they are getting ready to leave (as am I) and say
"Wait... Ed... let me give you my card. Call me sometime!" and I unzip
my wallet and am looking through my wallet as Ed and David are standing
there. God I'm jealous of David getting to travel all the way to New York
with Ed. I can't find my card. I look through and suddenly I find it and
am like "Ah ha!" and I hand Ed the card and then realize that I handed
Ed his own card, which was in my wallet for some reason and now I just
gave it back to him. Weird. I look through and finally find my own card
and give it to him and he's like "Cool, thanks!" I feel totally rejected
like a little school girl for some reason.
Where did my brother
go? He seems to have disappeared. Oh well... looks like I'll be traveling
alone again. As I get in my car and leave (it's still dark outside), and
see David and Ed leaving too ahead of me, I suddenly turn back into the
red-haired woman with the layers of clothes on. I look into the backyard
as I drive away and see the little frog that crawled out of the tube. The
frog is waving goodbye to me.
As I hit the road
I realize that David was an expert at building this really amazing and
weird furniture as art pieces when I knew him in Texas - and that him and
Ed will probably really hit it off.
Suddenly my cell
phone headphone thing appears on my head and I realize that I am now entering
the beginning of the dream again... like a loop. I am describing the horror
movie to the fat bearded guy - who I now realize was the mother figure
that was serving cookies and stuff to Ed and I as we sat in front of the
TV earlier.
4/28/02:
I'm eating dinner
in some restaurant with Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore. I
am asking Kim about her recent performance in London with some other artists.
She just keeps smiling and staring ahead when I use certain words to describe
her show. She seems uninterested in my comments. I also keep turning to
Thurston and telling him I saw this article in a magazine that described
their new album song by song and had these little web url listings where
you could go on the web and download the whole album months before it was
released. I keep referring to Thurston by another name and I realize that
I keep forgetting he is Thurston and thinking he is some stranger sitting
at the table there with me and Kim.
Then I seem to
be in some suburban area on my bike. I am in Plano, Texas - it is a warm-ish,
windy Spring day and it is overcast. I am riding to take some artwork to
somewhere in New York City - which I seem to be able to get to on my bicycle.
I keep passing groups of people that keep getting in my way as I ride along
between houses and through parks. At one point I am stopped because all
these school kids are all on this sidewalk walking in a group. They are
listening to their teacher who is dressed in a crossing guard uniform and
is blowing a whistle. I kind of get caught up in their group and at one
point the teacher blows her whistle and goes "You! Off the bike! No bike
riding at this time!" I try to just break away from the group and ignore
her but for some reason I can't and I start kind of moving with the crowd
and I'm going "Agh! I'm not a student!" Suddenly this guy who has blond
hair and is wearing denim and looks kind of "80's" in the way he is styled
grabs my bike and is like "Come with me!"
He somehow takes
me to Plano Senior High School and takes me into one of the art class studios.
It turns out he is an art teacher there at the school. There is stuff all
inside the studio, hundreds of easels and canvases, tarps hanging from
the walls, shelves filled with supplies. Everything is covered in years
worth of splattered paint. He tells me to sit on this ratty couch and look
at some slides he is going to project on the wall of his artwork while
he figures out a way for me to get my artwork safely to New York without
being stopped by crowds of school children and crossing guards. I really
don't know what I'm doing there.
He starts to show
me slides of his work which are all these colored pencil drawings of him
nude. He keeps showing me slide after slide and saying "What do you think
of this one? Mmm-hmmm... and this one? How do you think my butt looks in
that drawing? You know I try to work out three times a week but can't always...
mmm-hmmmm... are you threatened by nudity? Are you an open minded person?"
and his voice is getting whisper-y and feminine as he says this and he
keeps leaning his head in close to my ear to say stuff like "Isn't this
a lovely drawing... look how I brought the shadow out on my left buttock!"
and I realize he's just making this awkward pass at me and it's really
stupid and I bolt off of the couch and leave. As I walk out he screams
to me "You'll never make it to New York!" in a really mean way.
Then I am at some
building, like a giant house, where some performance is going on. I am
mulling around the crowd. It is nighttime now and I am still in Plano.
I know that Pseu Braun from WFMU is somewhere in the crowd because
I saw what I thought was her car outside and for some reason I know she
can help me get to New York. I never find her. The performance involves
Kim and Thurston and lots of people are gathering in the house's giant
living room and sitting on the floor to see the show. Suddenly the back
of the house turns into this giant mall-like area and it's all lit up and
stuff like a crowded shopping mall with plants and fountains and stores.
I can still hear the performance going on in the living room though. The
blond art teacher from before is suddenly there and he is making me show
him what is in this bound folder of papers with words and pictures on them
that I have. We are standing there looking through it. He says i's important
for him to see what's in it so he can help get me to New York. Suddenly
he looks up and starts talking to some woman to my right. I look up and
see he is talking to Yoko Ono, who is there to see the performance.
She is wearing a big blue scarf over her head (and her hair is in giant
plastic curlers) and she has giant black sunglasses. I say "Oh hi Yoko!"
and I start looking through my folder for stuff referencing the Fluxus
art movement. I find some stuff and show it to her and say something stupid
like "You may like this... it's part of this thing I am taking to New York
and is part of the performance here tonight. It has to do with the Fluxus
art movement!" She just stares at me with her arms crossed and says nothing.
I say "Weren't you involved in the Fluxus movement?" and without missing
a beat she coldly says "No." and just stares at me.
Then (I guess I
made it to New York) I am at some remote location in New York City that
kind of looks like the Brazilian jungle. There are old crumbly buildings
made of concrete that are engulfed in lush, green tropical trees and foliage.
It is a hot summer day. I am there with a kid who looks like he's about
15 years old. He is Brazilian and looks pretty rough. He is taking me up
and down the stairs of one of the high buildings. I look down in my hand
and see the art folder. As we are running up the stairs I see the blond
art teacher running down. He ignores me and looks very serious. We get
to the roof of the high building and I see all these Brazilian women scaling
down the side of the building with ropes. I see explosions down in the
trees below. The sun is shining really brightly all over everything. It
turns out this is a suicide bomber/terrorist training camp and this kid
and I are a few minutes away from going on some suicide mission against
the United States. We are going back down the stairs and the kid is like
"Are you ready to do this?" and I am thinking that I'm not and I don't
want to do it and I have no idea how I got in this situation. I'm thinking
"All the stuff I did today, dinner with Kim and Thurston, riding through
Plano, the weird art teacher, trying to get to New York, Yoko... will be
that last stuff I did on Earth - these are my last few hours alive!" and
I'm depressed and freaked out that I won't see my family or friends anymore
and I am thinking that this is how the plane hijackers that flew the planes
into the World Trade Center towers must have felt. Suddenly the wall next
to us opens up and we see - sideways - a giant vortex that looks like what
you would see if you were in a helicopter hovering over Niagara Falls but
the falls went all the way in a circle instead os a half circle - and the
falling waters created a tunnel and it just went down, down, down with
no end like a long tunnel. The kid is looking at me and saying "OK - let's
jump in... this is it!" and I'm trying to figure a way out of the situation.
4/29/02:
No dreams.
4/30/02:
Too busy to type long dream I had, but will tell you it involved me visiting my parent's gigantic house, swimming in a mausoleum pool on the property, rich Spanish family next door who were actually animatronic robots in their own pool, being back in NYC and hanging out with freaks in nightclubs, living miniature "Sims" game figures that appeared throughout the dream - like they would come up and talk to you in that non-sensical way - and they acted according to how you treated them and just existed with people in real life, and driving around in LA with Bryan and looking at this new bubble car monorail system they had that was free to ride and totally amazing. There were lots of details but too many to type.