2/1/02:

No dreams.

2/2/02:

    I am staying in some weird dark town where it is always night time. I share an apartment with Gregory. There seems to be a giant wall that separates two halves of the town for some reason - like the Berlin wall. For some reason Gregory and I are always climbing over it to go into the "other" side of town - like it's kind of forbidden. We are always joking around as we do it and falling off the ladder and intentionally knocking each other off the ladder and stuff like that, always making jokes and goofing around like the Three Stooges. On time I am on the ground and turned around and Gregory is coming down the ladder behind me and says to me "Mark turn around and support my ass! I'm falling... quick, help!" and I turn around really fast and put my hands on his ass to support him and he had pulled his pants down while I wasn't looking so I put my hands really fast on his bare ass. We both crack up laughing. I never see what's on the other side of the wall, I just always remember sneaking over it with Greg.
    Then I am suddenly hired by some very old nightclub that has been around forever to work the front door. They say they are only going to pay me $200 for the night and I agree to it for some reason. I go to the club and it's just this bare room with white drywall and industrial carpeting. There are these faggy guys sitting behind a counter and are talking to each other and drawing on one of those projection things professors use when lecturing where they draw with a felt marker on a transparent piece of plastic and it projects on the wall behind them. One of these machines is projecting on the wall behind them. They are drawing pictures of people's faces they see in HX magazine and snickering about how funny they look. I tell the guys "Hi I'm here to work the door tonight" and they are all like "OK!" and they start running around and showing me all the rooms in the club, like the room in the back which is their apartment.
    It is the middle of the day and I just start standing outside the club door, working. There is no velvet rope or anything, I'm just standing there. There is some scenario where I see this fat, naked black man who is covered in blood through the crack of the door to the club when I open it from the outside. Like he is hiding behind the door. It's very disturbing.
    I also see my friend old club friend Rob Fernandez. Hardly anyone comes to the club at all, even though it's in the middle of the daytime. At the end of the shift, which only seems about 30 minutes, one of the faggy guys pays me with 2 hundred dollar bills and says "Thanks so much! Keep the change!"
    I go back home - over the wall. I'm just remembering that it was daytime at this old, washed up club, and now it is night time back at the apartment I share with Greg on the other side of the wall. I get a call from a club manager I know named Ken, who apparently owns the club I was just working at. He says that he wants me to come back to the club that very night and work again. He says he is driving his car over to pick me up and will be there soon. Soon he arrives and I get in the car. We start driving around all these bridges and tunnels that will take us to the part of town on the other side of the wall. Suddenly Ken starts acting like he's drunk or on drugs and starts like passing out and stuff while he's driving and the car will swerve to the right or left or something and I will have to grab the wheel and straighten the car out and yell "Oh my God! Ken wake up we're gonna crash!" and he wakes up and takes the wheel and then does the same thing a minute later. Pretty soon he's just totally unconscious and I am driving the car. I can't wake him up and I have no idea how to get to the club by the roads we are on, or what the club is even called (even though I was just there) or where I am even at. I have no idea how I'm going to get us there.
    This dream was very depressing for some reason.

2/3/02:

    I am inside some old gangster/mafia movie. Sometimes I am in the movie, I am in a scene inside some rich mafia boss' lavish office where he meets with people - like that scene in The Godfather. And sometimes I am looking at the individual frames of the film itself, in an editing place, like I am re-touching them or editing them. In the frames I can see the mafia boss' office and can see him sitting there. That's all I remember.

2/4/02:

    I'm living in a weird parallel version of New York City that seems to consist of a long, tree-lined suburban street and it's inhabitants can park their cars along it based on their status as "stars" in the ever changing city nightlife scene from decade to decade. There also seems to be some scenario where I am living in this fantastic home with all these old movie starts, like early 70's era Hollywood stars (but I don't know their names) and every moment in the house is a fantastic, moody, heavily scored, with superb 70's style cinematography... movie.
    I see only 90's NYC nightlife people. I see a lot of people that look like they should be big recognizable as people I know, but they look like no one I've heard of, like they look like copies of people. It is always daytime on the street and people are dressed really wildly and walking from car to car and hanging out, sometimes moving their cars. On the street I run into Ricardo, Mario and Perfidia a lot. Ricardo seems to be around constantly. I am looking at one car and I see Richard Edson. I start to think about how all those people who were really into the 80's club scene and "where are they now" and how everyone gets old and things just keep moving forward.
    I am always moving to different areas on the street and into different parked cars. I am sitting on a couch in the street and Perfidia is talking to me and I keep grabbing her fake boob and we are laughing about something. Then at one point I am in the back seat of an old 50's car along the street and Ricardo is handing me a flyer for his new night and I am looking at it. Then I am actually at the even that was on the flyer, it's in this little booth along side of the street that has candles burning on it. Ricardo is there without his shirt on and is talking to everyone and he is holding a long island iced tea. All of this takes place on the street, in the sunny spring time daylight. I am thinking "Wow! I wish NYC was really like this! The air is so great!" At one point, me, Perfidia and Ricardo decide to leave the car we are in and go to a far end of the street to see something. We lock up the car and start walking. At one point we realize we needed to move the car or it would be towed. I offer to go back and move the car.
    Then a scenario shift: I am in the big fantastic house with the 70's movie stars. It is night time and all of us are in different rooms of the house having really drama-heavy conversations. It's corny. Everything has music and camera angles and over-acting. I think that one of the actors in the house is Diane Cannon. Also there is an older father figure type there who I think may be an older Sean Connery. There is some big, heavy scenario where the Diane Cannon character and her son smashed this really expensive glass sculpture (the sculpture had water floating in it in on vessel that was blue, which was floating in a giant lit tank and also had lit fiber optic cables on it) the night before. The sculpture was supposed to represent something important in everyone's lives, but something that perhaps needed smashing, and it was of great importance to the Sean Connery character. People are nervous about what the Sean Connery character will say when he wakes up. I see the Diane Cannon character in her bed the night before saying that she doesn't care what he thinks. So... in the morning when everyone wakes up... the sculpture is fine, unharmed! I see the Sean Connery character walk past it and out the door and he says something very profound, very end-of-film-important-sum-everything-up-with-a-clever-line-end-roll-credits kind of phrase, and the music swells and he leaves. But I have no idea what he actually said. Why was the sculpture not smashed like the night before? Did everyone dream that it was smashed? Did Sean Connery spend the whole night while we were asleep repairing it or replacing it?

2/5/02:

    I am being hired by some big company to go on a space mission. The company is hiring me to fly beyond the planet Pluto in our solar system and collect something that has been floating out there for years. I will be traveling with the daughter of this person I know (in the dream only - I don't recognize them from real life) who owns a new restaurant that isn't doing very well. Neither me nor the daughter have any space travel experience.
    First, I am at the girl's father's restaurant. The restaurant seems to be inside a giant office complex or maybe even a hospital. It is placed in the center of this giant, plant-filled courtyard, with a skylight high above. The tables and chairs look like wrought iron porch furniture. The floor is made of stones and there are lights running up all the walls behind the plants. It looks very nice. I'm there with some older woman who I think is the wife of the man who owns the place. She looks very wealthy and stylish, maybe 50-ish in age... and she looks very concerned all the time, worried, and is always smoking. I think this is the first day the restaurant is open. People are there eating but I get the impression that the business is doing bad and it's not a good "first day".
    Somewhere in another hallway of the giant building is the man and the woman's daughter. She is about 22 years old and kind of reminds me of Asia Argento, but it's not. She is very sick with something, I don't know what, and is being cared for by all these nurses and doctors that are surrounding her while she lays on this bed in the middle of one of the hallways in the building. I go to visit her, then back to the failed restaurant, then to visit her, then to the restaurant, back and forth. She is not doing to well and I wonder what in the hell I am being hired to fly out in to space for. Especially with this sick, inexperienced girl. I'm inexperienced! What the hell is going on?
    When I go back to the restaurant, I stop off in this big room where it appears that there is going to be some kind of event. There are all these long tables set up and people are signing this list and wearing name tags when they enter the room. I sign in and go sit at one of the tables with some friends of mine (in the dream only). While I am sitting there I see Thurston Moore and Steve Shelly walk in. I try not to stare at Thurston Moore while I am talking to my friends. I get up and go to visit the sick girl in the hallway. Just as I do, Thurston gets up and just happens to be walking in the same direction as me and is going to a room that is next to the sick girl. We walk kind of awkwardly next to each other and I am acting really self conscious for some reason. I reach the sick girl and am talking to her in her bed and Thurston goes into his room. Then he comes out and is kind of paying attention to what is going on with the girl. He starts talking to one of the nurses.
    Then the wife of the restaurant guy (the girl's mother) comes down the hall and tells me she needs to drive me to the office building that holds the company that is flying us into space, they need to talk to me about something. So I go with her. We drive around the city (which I don't recognize) in this woman's fantastic silver 1960's Porsche convertible. The open part of the convertible is covered in this kind of glass dome that we are under. The dome seems to reflect and absorb sunlight in a weird way that is hard to figure out. Like we can see out but no one can see in. It is sunny outside and all the buildings around us look like modern 60's architecture. The woman is driving the car and has blond long hair with gray streaks and a big scarf. She is smoking a cigarette. She is talking to me about the importance of the space mission. She seems to be as secretly apprehensive about it as I am. She seems very hard and determined about the space mission. Like it's something that MUST be done and she knows it's dangerous and she may even loose (or save?) her sick daughter as a result of it. She seems to maybe feel a little guilt about something in the past and this space mission is a last ditch effort to set it right. That's the impression I get.
    We get to the building and we go in. It's a great building. All giant high-celing-ed lobbies with red industrial carpeting and giant windows that cast weird sunlight patterns all over the place. Weird, organic shaped balconies and stairways everywhere. There are men in white radiation uniforms walking around, driving little golf carts to get around the building, in the huge foyer.
    We meet with these people who are sending me and this woman's daughter into space. They show me this kind of virtual reality film that shows me what the area beyond Pluto will look like once me and this girl get there. The film looks like a cheesy science fiction movie. It shows this giant ring of debris made of campy-looking, Hollywood stylized old space ships and satalites and moon men in moon suits (like giant toy figures) and even giant pieces of popcorn and candy. The ring of debris is floating in this ridiculous looking outer space and you can see all these twinkling stars in the background and even like, giant brightly colored planets way in the distance. It is so phony. The man showing me the film says "This is actual film footage taken by the ship of the last mission that went out there. Here is what you will see." I ask him what we are supposed to do when we get out there and he tells me it's top secret so they will have to tell us via radio transmission once we arrive out there. He also says the trip will only take about 2 days(!)
    Suddenly as I am watching the film, through the camera lens' view I see this hideous looking half giant tarantula half spaceship looking thing come into view right up against the camera's lens, from the left (like it had been right behind the camera the whole time. It seems to be engulfing the camera and it looks really terrifying. I get this feeling of evil and terror as I look at it. The woman yells "Frank!" talking to the film guy and suddenly the film guy turns off the film really fast. I look up and say "What was that?" and he and the woman kind of awkwardly look at each other and change the subject really fast. I know I saw something I wasn't supposed to see.
    Then it's the next day and I am driving to where the space ship is going to take off from. While there I am feeling totally apprehensive about the trip. The girl is there and she looks really ill. There is no way she's gonna make it! Her mom is handing her this old roll of cough drops from her purse and saying "Take these honey, you'll feel better! Now hurry up and get on the ship!" and then I look at the ship. It is this dinky little thing that is falling apart and has actual gaps in it where air can get out. It looks like it was made of plastic, like from a giant sized modeling kit, and was constructed very quickly in haste. The guy who built it is there and he looks like a total nerd. I get in the ship with the very sick girl and she looks very sick in a bad way indeed. I look over at the girl's mom. She is crying but seems to know that her sick daughter must go on this trip (is there something out there beyond Pluto that will make her better? Like a last hope cure?) I look around at the "controls" inside the ship. It looks like phony controls of a child's toy. The pieces are all glued together really sloppily and some of the controls on the dashboard are actually little decals that say stuff like "Space Pressure Gauge" and "Moon Gravity Index" and "Alien Monster Disintegration Ray" and stuff like that you would see on a toy. The decals are all crooked. I see some of the pieces of the ship have sloppy globs of modeling glue all over them. What a crappy job they did. It doesn't even look real! I have no idea to operate them anyway! They don't even seem to really work! What am I doing here? I feel like we are like those dogs or monkeys they shoot out into space... just sitting in the ship, clueless as to what's really happening... awaiting our unknown doom. I look over at the sick girl, she is slumped over in her chair and her safety belts are kind of holding her into the chair. She is passed out unconscious and drool is coming out of her mouth and she looks really, really sick and pale and skinny. Geez... what a partner on a dangerous space mission. What is going on here?
    One of the tech guys comes inside the little spaceship and tells me that inside the ship, to occupy my time in case I get bored, is a library index of everyone who has ever made a home movie that took place in Plano, Texas. This index will allow me to look up the home tapes of anyone in Plano and watch them on a little screen. He shows me an example of a home movie of some guys in a suburban Plano yard filming each other goofing around. I am looking at the houses in the film and trying to see if I recognize any of them. He says I can access any home movie from anywhere in Plano without the home owners even being aware. I will just kind of "read" the tape and transmit it's contents up to me in space as it is sitting on a shelf in the home or is inside a camera way down on earth in Texas. Weird. I seem mesmerized by the movie I am watching and this seems to please the tech guy.
    Suddenly I look down closely at one of the crocked edges of the toy control panel. Underneath the surface of the white plastic control panel I can kind of see some weird black stuff under there. It looks organic but maybe like it's machinery too. I look closer and closer... I see that there is a whole network of sophisticated machinery underneath the cheap toy spaceship shell. I see all kinds of wires and little lights and radars and stuff... but you can't get to it because of the toy shell. THAT must be the real spaceship. So why did they put a fake looking toy one over it's surface? Even on the inside of the ship? So no one would know? Even us? Are they hiding something? Suddenly I am looking very closely between another gap in the white plastic, and I see something awful... the real ship underneath the toy ship is the same texture as that tarantula monster I saw in the virtual reality film of the last space mission! It's the same creature! As I am looking I see these two glowing eyes looking up at me and I hear this sinister growl come from deep inside the ship. I lunge back in my chair in terror. I look around me and see through other cracks in the toy spaceship interior surface has giant hairs of the space tarantula creature sticking out. I see one of it's giant claw nails sticking out of a hole near the floor, scraping the plastic as it moves. I look on the floor and see a big hole and see the hideous, fang filled, gooey mouth of the tarantula creature right under it. It's terrifying. This spaces ship is actually a dangerous giant tarantula creature/machine thing with a shell around it to fool us. No wonder they never told us a thing! As soon as we blast off the creature is going to take us beyond Pluto and something awful is going to happen - I just know this somehow. I try to struggle and get out of my chair. I can't - the saftey belts are too tight. A giant tongue comes out of the creature's mouth in the hole in the floor and starts licking my foot. I feel the spaceship/tarantula's engines starting. Help! Agh! I look outside the ship and see everyone watching the ship take off. The mother is hysterical crying. I scream and bang my hands against the plastic window. They can't hear me. They look pleased (exept for the mom). I look over at the girl's lifeless body in her chair. I think she may be dead. The ship is taking off into space (but we seem to be moving away from the take-off point parallel along the ground, like a train or car, not up in the air - weird). The people at the take-off point are getting smaller and smaller. We are moving faster and faster. I'm thinking "How in the hell do I get in these situations?"

2/6/02:

No dreams.

2/7/02:

    I am looking at this large throw pillow with an image of Arnold Schwarzenegger running in front of what looks like burning wreckage on it. It is just floating there in the middle of a black background. Then I am looking at a room with Arnold Schwarzenegger in it and he is with some kind of scientist/policeman. The policeman/scientist is telling Arnold that he has analyzed the picture that is on the pillow and determined that the flaming wreckage in the background is all fake. He is telling Arnold that he has superimposed his image over the picture of the wreckage using computer graphics. Arnold is telling the scientist that he is lying and he is being really defiant. I get the impression that Arnold is under interrogation and the scientist works for the government. The scientist is being really mean to him. I think other policemen and detectives may be watching the whole thing go down from behind a two way mirror in the next room. Arnold is looking pretty nervous.
    Suddenly the scientist comes up with all this evidence to support that Arnold's entire existence is a fake and phony back projection using the latest in computer animation software. His films, his life, his marriage to Maria Shriver, everything... is just being projected in the background and Arnold's moving image is morphed onto the foreground. Arnold's entire existence consists of him at home in front of a live video camera doing little poses and stuff in front of a large blue background, which allows the film people to instantly superimpose the image for a film or an E!  television segment or whatever. Arnold is looking very nervous and is sweating and saying "Thaud iz not true! You ah eh lie-ya!"

2/8/02:

    I am sitting in this weird restaurant that is populated by Hell's Angels biker-types. The restaurant's seating areas are these kind of bars or counters that face into these re-created nature scenes. Like you know those scenes with stuffed, taxidermy-ed animals that you see at The Museum of Natural History? They are behind glass and will be like the a stuffed tiger standing on a big rock with dead grass and make some stuffed penguins in poses below it on pebbles - and a cloudscape painted on the wall behind it? The restaurant consists of these bar/counter areas that face all these little scenes behind glass. Each animal re-creation area is this kind of fiberglass dome. These domes are spaced evenly around the large restaurant which is a large room with dark industrial carpet. It's very dark in the restaurant except for the light emitting from the glass front viewing areas of each dome - which the seating counter is situated in front of. People sit at the counter of each dome and watch the stuffed animal scene and eat their food. I think the rest of the restaurant may have been decorated in a kind of rustic western scene. Kind of like a Steak 'n Ale restaurant from the 70's, or maybe a ski lodge in a mountain ski area.
    I am sitting at a counter/scene viewing area with Rex Booth (www.rexsworld.com) and Jim Morrison and some other people. Some of us are drinking beers and some of us are eating. We are all watching the animal scene but it doesn't seem to be a motionless animal scene with taxidermy-ed stuffed animals. It is this live-action kind of movie/play that is edited like a movie, the actors pop in and out of the stage like edit cuts, and sometimes appear in close-up like a film. But they seem to be real actors for some reason. I think at some points we are tapping on the glass and getting their attention. The film seems to take place in ancient Rome, during the Republican Revolution Age. The film is a highly stylized, Hollywood version of ancient Rome - it kind of reminded me of Ray Harryhausen's film "Clash Of The Titans". The film stars Brooke Sheilds and Cloris Leachman. During one scene we see Cloris pouring wine from this vase into a golden cup and she is smiling at us. It looks like she's performing a magic trick or something. Brooke's character is very defiant, maybe the daughter of Cloris, I don't know. At one point in the film we see Brooke, wearing a hooded cape, walking off into the distance defiantly as the credits roll - I guess that was the end.
    During one point in the film there is an actress that is bringing us this wooden bowl full of these bizarre sandwiches. She is actually able to serve us the sandwiches through the glass and we are grabbing them and looking at them because they are so strange. The sandwiches are made of two fried eggs that have been cooked in a kind of mold or cast that is in the shape of two slices of white bread. The yellow yoke is in the center. Kind of like a poached egg but in a bread slice shape. Towards the bottom of the bread-shaped fried egg... you can see that the egg has turned into the shape of layers of Ramin noodles - and they also subtly turn bright green as they reach the bottom of the bread shape - like someone who has bleached hair and dyes it green and it begins to fade out. Then, below this, there are two strands of braided noodle coming out of the bottom two corners of the bread slice-shaped eggs. They just hang there and are joined at the bottom with a strand of braided noodle and bacon - or maybe proscuitto. You could turn the sandwich upside down and hold it by the bacon noodle braided thing like a handle and it would look like a purse. The sandwich had a name of a place like a Monte Cristo or something but I can't remember the name exactly. We are all grabbing the sandwiches and remarking about how odd they are. I remember when I see the bacon part I am like "So they DO have meat on them!" The actress in the film seems to be giving us the sandwiches during an intermission in the film. Behind her in the film's background, as she has the bowl of sandwiches, the sun is shining brightly in our eyes from the film.
    We are all watching the "film" and eating the weird sandwiches and drinking beer and laughing and stuff. The chairs we are sitting on are those western-style swivel stools that have a back like a Windsor style chair and the seat swivels. Suddenly at one point there is this really odd thing where I have wads of toilet paper and I have diarrhea dribbling out of my ass and I am catching it with these wadded up pieces of toilet paper I have in my hand. It's like my pants are suddenly pulled down and I had this uncontrollable diarrhea coming out and it's hitting the edge of my chair, my boots, the carpet ...everything. I can't seem to stop it or clean up the mess fast enough. It's very embarrassing and all the guys are still eating and laughing and watching the "film" above me as I am crouched down trying to clean up the mess without anyone noticing. Does it smell? It's really weird. I have no idea why it's happening but no one seems to notice and I am really embarrassed. I sneak off to the bathroom and am in there and the diarrhea is still dribbling out of my ass and I'm trying to wipe it off the floor off the bathroom stall. I get the impression that there is someone filming me do this with a hidden camera. Very odd and really gross.
    I guess I get everything cleaned up and stuff because I'm back out in the restaurant sitting with my friends again. No one seems to have noticed. Or did they? We are now looking at these TV monitors that are installed face-up on the counter in our seating area. They are playing this endless transmission of a "live" broadcast of the front door from the set of "Pee Wee's Playhouse" the old Saturday morning Pee Wee Herman TV show. The transmission shows what the fake front door to the playhouse looks like now. It's dimly lit and the door looks all old and brown and maybe moldy. Is it made of cardboard or wood? We are all trying to get a close look at it on the TV screens and are talking about it. Everyone has left except me, Jim and Rex. I for some reason think Jim should know something about this door because he was on TV.
    Uh oh... I see a Hell's Angels guy is now sitting in the chair where I was sitting where I had diarrhea all over the place. He is drinking a beer and looking forward at the behind-glass viewing area, which is lit but empty now. I hope he didn't sit in it! I'm sure he did because I never cleaned it up. I peak over and see he has dark jeans on. They must have soaked up my diarrhea. I feel relieved.

2/9/02:

    I am with a group of people that I don't know. We are in this fantastic, huge and beautiful house made of chrome and frosted glass and neon lights. All of the people I am there with are very young. I don't know how we got there but I seem to remember something about a guy giving us directions while we were in a car. Apparently we are being held there because the guy who owns the house is this rich, dangerous mafia type guy who kidnapped us and is going to force us to perform all these perverted sexual acts for him - like do some sick, twisted show. I'm really scared because I think he is going to kill us or make a snuff film with us in it or something. We are all crouched down lined up along this hallway and all of us have our hands bound together with rope. Some of the girls I am with are crying. The rich guy has these huge sumo wrestler guys in nice dress suits with ties that are like security guards for him. Every once in a while one of these giant guys will walk out into the hall and say "OK next!". It's terrifying because we all think we are going to die. Everyone is crying. I keep getting peeks into the room where the rich guy is and it's a brightly lit room and the mafia guy seems to be hooked up to some kind of machine with tubes running into it. For some reason I get the impression that they are cutting off people's feet and dumping them into the machine and they guy is "taking a bath" in the bloody amputated feet. I get the impression that it's very late at night although I feel like when were all in the car getting directions it was dusk. I don't know how we got from that into a kidnapping situation. It's a nightmare!
    Suddenly one of the sumo wrestler guys comes over to me and whispers to me that this is all some elaborate prank. The rich guy is actually taking us into that room and we see him hooked up to this weird machine with all these lights and he says something about "Put them on the foot-chopping-off machine and give me their f-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-!!!" in this goulish voice and there are all these fake rubber feet in the tub part of the machine with him and then we get hooked up to this fake foot-cutting-off machine and right when the rich guys says "CUT OFF THEIR FEET!" this trap door opens and we fall down one level into the parking garage where a man pays us $1,000 for our trouble and does a little videotaped interview with us asking us what we think of the whole practical joke (the video tapes of which the rich man keeps a library of) and then lets us go. He then smiles and pats me on the back and tells me it's going to be OK and not to worry. I'm not sure whether to believe him or not.
    Suddenly the scenario changes a little bit and the rich guy is now in this large office that is adjacent to the hallway. The front wall of the office is made of frosted glass and there are bright fluorescent lights in there so you can kind of make out what is happening. I am peaking around the corner of the hallway, with my hands still bound, at what is going on in the office. I hear the rich guy say to one of the sumo wrestler guys "Come in here and take off all your clothes and lay naked on the copier machine and make copies!" The guard quickly runs into the office and I can see through the glass him stripping and getting on the copy machine. Suddenly the entire front wall of the office looks like a pattern made out of television sets that are projecting this image on them of this guard's live naked chest wiggling against the glass of the copy machine. It's all fleshy and weird and wiggling, and every other TV set image is inverted so it has a cheap video effect pattern look to it. It reminds me of that H. R. Giger painting "Penis Landscape" that was inside that Dead Kennedy's album "Frankenchrist".

2/10/02:

    I am meeting some friends at a hotel. There is a convention going on there. The day before the convention we are all looking at this map that is lit up somehow. It shows a long hallway on the ground floor of the hotel. We all agree to meet at a certain time the next day at one section of the hallway. I remember that the map had no words on it and this was a confusing issue for us all for some reason. So it's the next day and I am in the parking garage of the hotel. I have parked my car and am walking up the stairwell to the hotel's lobby where the hallway is. For some reason I am wearing a khaki trench coat, a big brown fedora velvet hat, bad blond wig, giant black sunglasses and am carrying one of those kid's toy soap bubble blower gun toys in it's original box. I am stopping at every landing and adjusting my wig, hat, the box - all of it keeps falling off and is hard to keep everything on me properly. For some reason I want to be wearing this outfit when I go to meet my friends in the hallway. I notice that my outfit and props keep changing I walk up the stairs... sometimes I have a wig and sometimes I don't, sometimes no sunglasses... sometimes I have this giant plastic nose.
    Finally I get in the hotel lobby and it is really crowded. Everyone is there for the convention. I am there first and am carrying my stuff looking for my friends. I see the point in the hallway, according to the map we saw yesterday, and I walk over to it. Oh no! The hotel lobby must have changed since the map we looked at was made! The hallway is a little different! I think this is going to be a big problem for some reason. I am running around the big hallway in a kind of panic because I think I won't be able to find my friends. Also I cannot figure out which direction is north or south or east or anything and for some reason I think I should be facing a certain direction when I meet my friends.
    Finally my friends arrive. There was no problem. One of my friends seems to be that little asian girl character on the Fox animated show "King of the Hill", the neighbor girl that Bobby Hill character is in love with. Sometimes she is animated and sometimes she is actually a person - weird. We get our name tags.
    Later we are still inside the massive hotel at the convention and are wandering around. We kind of broke off from the convention and are exploring the massive hotel. It is night time. We find this massive room that has all these giant soft foam blocks and cylinders in it. It also has giant white plastic tubing you can crawl through lying all over the place - plus giant plastic balls. It's like a thrown together playground for kids. One of the massive walls of the room is a giant window - a giant glass wall. Outside it you can see is a fantastic forest/garden area with lit paths that we can just make out in the night time light and glare from inside the glass. We are the only ones in there. We seem very excited to have found this room.

2/11/02:

No dreams.

2/12/02:
No sleep. No dreams.

2/13/02:

No dreams.

2/14/02:

    I am in some situation where I am living inside this enormous house I don't recognize. I am living there with my grandparents. My grandmother is in the huge kitchen making food and I am in the living room with my grandfather. We are just sitting there talking. Suddenly a group of guys come over that are supposed to be my cousins. I don't recognize any of them as any real cousins of mine. They all have kind of 70's long hair and are dressed kind of 70's. They are all hovering around me and my grandfather. One of them, who has a really muscle-y body, keeps whispering in my ear that he wants to take me out to the barn. Two of the cousins pick me up and take me out to the barn, they literally carry me out of the house, into a field, and all the way to the barn. Weird. It's daylight outside.
    Once in the barn, we go up onto one of the upper levels. We all three start having sex. One of the guys takes out a bouquet of roses, I think they were pink roses. He says he is going to shove the roses, stems first, into my ass and then fuck me after he does this. He shoves the whole bouquet in there with no problem. Then he fucks me. Then he takes the roses out and they are still totally intact. I am amazed. I look at the roses and they have little thorns on the stems that have been kind of chiseled down so they won't scratch you.
    Then a scenario change. I am in a big city area, it is nighttime. There seems to be some big event going on as lots of people who look like maybe tourists are walking around the streets in a festive mood. I see lots of groups of gay men. I am with a group of people I don't know. We are walking along the street and it looks kind of like that area of 5th avenue in New York City, uptown right before it hits Central Park and the Plaza hotel. I think I see the Gucci and Tiffany's stores. Some of the stores have booths that are open onto the street and you can walk up to them and order stuff from the people behind the counters. There is another group of gay guys walking along side of us. One of them is this really obnoxious asian queeny guy who keeps trying to get my attention. He's wearing a fisherman's hat. He is kind of annoying me and at one point we are all leaning against this booth of a store and the obnoxious guy intentionally walks into me and bumps me, then he looks at his friends and smiles and they all laugh. He then looks at me smiling and puts out his hand and says "Hi my name is so-and-so, I'm so clumsy at things like this please forgive me. What's your name? Can I buy you a corny dog?" which is weird because the booth we are looking at is a store that sells really nice jewelry. I say "No thanks" and walk away with my friends.
    Then we walk to another area of the street and there is a movie theater. We decide to all go in and see a movie. There is some really handsome guy that is in the lobby. I tell my friends I want to go talk to him. They all agree with me like "Uh-huh" and "Yea-uh-huh he's cute" and stuff. It seems strange for some reason like they are being sarcastic. We go into the theater. It's packed and the movie is already showing. The "seats" are like these giant box row things that you literally have to climb over the wall of to get into. They are like holding pens for people. Everyone in the theater is talking loudly and throwing popcorn and stuff and having a really good time. It's like a party and no one is paying attention to the movie. I see the guy I think is cute sitting in the holding pen in front of me. I climb over the pen and stand next to him and start talking to him. Suddenly I feel this hard swap from someone's hand on the back of my head. I turn and look at who did it. It's the obnoxious asian queeny guy, who is now sitting a few seats to my right. He had hit me pretty hard and I hold the back of my head and kind of glare at him. He looks at me with this funny face like he's being really clever, and he winks, and then when I am still looking at him he turns and pretends to talk to the guy next to him (who is just staring silently forward at the screen) and says something like "Yea... uh huh you were saying?" I just turn around and look at the cute guy and I'm holding the back of my head because it hurts now and the cute guy says "Who's your friend?" and I say "I have no idea!" and we laugh about it. Then the obnoxious asian queeny guy starts shouting in my direction stuff like "Don't talk to Mark! Hey you... dude... the guy sitting next to Mark Allen! Don't talk to him... he's rude!" and "I got a good look at Mark and decided he isn't cute at all! He's old now and ugly! Don't talk to him! He tried to buy me a corny dog and I said no and he gave me attitude!" and then the cute guy I'm talking to starts listening to what the obnoxious guy is saying and moves a seat ahead of me and ignores me. Then I'm talking with my friends again and I guess I struck out with the cute guy because of the obnoxious guy's meddling... oh well. Then I'm talking with my friends and the obnoxious asian guy reaches behind me and hands me a note he has written to me on a piece of cardboard popcorn bucket all folded up. He reaches back and hands it to me and then walks out of the theater. I take the note and open it up and read it. It says "Don't ever fuck with me cutie. I'm a TERROR! I'm waiting for you outside the theater right now if you want to go for a walk or something, it's a nice night out!" and then he had written his phone number beneath that. I move to the seat ahead of me and start talking to the cute guy again. He says he was annoyed by the obnoxious asian guy and that's why he moved. We laugh about the whole thing.
    Then suddenly another scenario shift, I am in this giant grocery store. I am with the cute guy and the other friends I was with earlier. It is daylight outside and we are walking near the exit. We see this fake car up on top of this stage and we all decide to climb up on top of it and "steal" it for some reason. Even though it's a fake car. Like we are going to jump into it and drive it off the stage and out the door. Weird. We all climb up on it and as we do... there is this weird scenario shift that keeps going in and out, like we are at a dock on a lake and we are actually climbing into a boat... it keeps going back and forth... grocery store, boat dock, grocery store, boat dock... very trippy. Anyway we are now inside the fake car and I am in the fake back seat with the cute guy and we are getting ready to "drive" off and we can't (obviously) and suddenly this loud bell goes off and all these women in light blue grocery store uniforms with name tags come running up to us. There must be a thousand of them! They are all cheering and they stop about ten feet from the stage with the fake car and are watching us like it's a show. Suddenly all these lights are blinking in the store like a disco and I think confetti is falling from the ceiling. These giant signs fall from the ceiling right above each of our heads. On each sign is a number - like a score. The women are all cheering us and giving us "scores". I got an "8". I can't see what anyone else's score is. Weird.
    Then a scenario shift. I am in this big empty field (the field by my grandparents house and barn from earlier in the dream?) and there is a big black building in the field to my right. It looks like a barn but is made of black, rusted metal and has no windows and looks kind of sinister. I go inside the building. There are these grand stairs that go down into a kind of basement area that looks kind of like a stage. It is dark except for candle's everywhere. It looks like the set of a vampire movie. My friend Sherry Vine is down there sitting at a table. He tells me that this is his new party and "welcome" and could I please sign the mailing list to get mailed invites for future parties. I do. There is hardly anyone there. Everyone there is a girl. I mingle around the party talking to all the girls. Soon many girls start leaving. There is only this pretty black girl left. The black girl goes to the bathroom and it's just me and Sherry now. Sherry tells me that I should ask the black girl out. The black girl comes back from the bathroom and is acting very shy and coy. I decide to give her a card with my phone number on it. I look in my wallet and can't find one. I find all kinds of weird pieces of paper in my wallet with all kinds of things on them. I get kind of distracted while looking at all the stuff in my wallet. I finally decide to rip this page out of a glossy magazine on a table near my and write my phone number on it with a ball point pen I found. I try to write on the glossy magazine page with the pen but it's too glossy and the ink won't take. The ink is literally coming out of the pen in big globs and smearing everywhere. I write my number on it as many times as I can, hoping one of them will not be smeared to the point where she can read it. I actually have no idea why I am giving this girl my phone number. I give the girl the piece of paper and Sherry says "Call Mark sometime!" The girl says "I have to go to class now. Bye!" and smiles and waves good-bye. Then I look up and see above me, on the ceiling of the black barn, is this giant shopping mall, apartment complex. The girl is walking up into the complex.

2/15/02:

No dreams.

2/16/02:

    I am waking up in the morning in my apartment and Jim has gone outside the hall to talk to two people that live in my building. I can hear them talking as I make coffee. I am trying to put the coffee grounds in the copper coffee filter and they are powder fine and the color of rust for some reason. There is some problem with the filter, like I put too much coffee in it or something, but it is overflowing and I have to dump it in the sink and start over. I keep having to start over and dump the grounds in the sink, all the while I hear Jim outside the hall talking to my neighbors. Soon I am looking at the coffee filter and it has grown in size each time I have started over. It is bigger and bigger each time and there are more and more fine powder-y rust-colored coffee grounds spilling all over the place. So the coffee filter is way to big to fit in the coffee machine. And pretty soon I realize that the coffee filter has turned into a cat litter box and I am putting cat litter in it instead of coffee grounds. I keep trying to fit it into the coffee machine, with no luck.
    Then I am done - somehow - and I go into the hall to see Jim and see my neighbors. I get outside right as he is saying good bye to them and Jim slips inside the door. As he comes in and I am looking out, I see this big flash of light and then Jim is holding this newspaper that has a black and white photo in it of Jim talking to my two neighbors. He is holding it up in my face, blocking me from looking out into the hall at the neighbors walk away. He's saying "Look Mark at this photo of me and your neighbors talking in the hall just now, it's in today's newspaper!" Weird. I look at the photo and it very grainy and fuzzy and hard to make out, but is indeed of Jim talking to my neighbors out in the hall just now. One of my neighbors, a girl, is wearing this very elaborate Las Vegas showgirls costume, with the head dress and everything. She is looking right into the camera.

2/17/02:

    There is something where I am in this library, a brand new library with white walls, industrial red carpeting, and many levels. I am on this level that is kind of this balcony room that looks out onto an inner courtyard. It is a computer room. There are several people in the computer room, and rows of tables with computers on them that you can use. I am in the room on a computer and there is this little girl next to me. We are typing things back and forth to each other - funny little messages. Then there is this rocker looking girl sitting next to the little girl. She is now practicing lyrics to a song with the girl.
    Then I see two different scenarios where the rocker girl is on stage at a giant outdoor rock festival performing this poetry reading with guitar accompaniment by the little girl that was in the library. In each scenario the rocker girl has different hair (I get the impression that the rocker girl's hair is important to her) and in some of the scenarios the little girl is a teenage boy.

2/18/02:

    I am in my mother's bedroom that looks similar to a house we lived in in Big Lake Park in Plano, Texas. Except the time is now, and it's not a bedroom, it's an office and my mom is some kind of business woman now. I don't know where my dad is, although I get the sense that I saw him earlier in the dream. Her desk is where my parent's bed used to be. It is late at night. She is opening a drawer in the desk and showing me this folded up piece of paper that has been pulled out of a magazine. It is a color piece of paper with some advertisement on it. It is something that I am aware of in the dream only - that is a very rare and valuable "ticket" that the magazine prints up. There are only like five of them printed up in the world, by this magazine, and if you find the copy of this page in your magazine you win $1,000,000 and a bunch of other stuff. It's like those golden tickets in "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory". Anyway, she is showing me this ticket page advertisement thing and is like "Look what I found." And I'm completely freaking out. I'm like "Whoa! Mom! Wow! Where did you get it? Oh my God everyone in the country is looking for these! You got one! Oh my God!" In the dream reality this was something that was important, like these magazine pages and everyone's quest for them are all over the news - just like in the Willie Wonka film. My mom just is sitting there kind of nonplused. She like "Yea isn't it great?" but seems pre-occupied and surprisingly calm or maybe upset. She says that she found it on the sidewalk in the park outside. I start to study the magazine page to make sure it's really real and is indeed a "winning" page and that she hasn't been fooled by those advertisement things you get in the mail that say "Hey (your name printed really badly)! You May Have Already Won A MILLION DOLLARS!!!" I look at the page, it has garish color lettering and a collage of images of smiling people that have won on yachts and in fancy hotels and traveling all over the world. I decide that it is indeed real. I am telling my mom that there are other things you get, like a cruise, in addition to the $1,000,000 and she's just blankly staring out into space like "Oh really? ...great."

2/19/02:

No dreams.

2/20/02:

No dreams.

2/21/02:

    All I remember is some scenario where I am looking at these dried gourd things that are in these planting pots. They are indoors and are near a breakfast nook window and the sun is shining in on them. They have long "stalks" and big bulbs at the end, at the top. They are very tall and kind of look like replicas of spermatozoa. They look like alien plants.
    I also remember seeing this giant oversized olive, a green one with a red pimento in the center. But it is giant, like the size of a watermelon, and it is fake - like a movie prop. It is sitting in a hospital bed with a long tube running out of it. Like the olive is the head and the tube is a body. It also is in the shape of a giant spermatozoa. It is in the hospital bed and the bed is being "listed" like it is sitting up like one of those Craftmatic Adjustable Beds. There are many doctors and nurses in the hospital area near the bed. I get the impression that the olive is very sick.

2/22/02:

    I am at some kid's amusement park thing, you know where they have giant slides and whole rooms made out of bouncy trampoline and people walking around dressed as giant cartoon characters and stuff. I am in this little tank of yellow plastic balls. The tank is made of clear plastic and is inside the center of a game arcade. It is very loud inside the arcade. Anyway, I am trying to roll around in this tank of balls but the tank is really too small. I notice that all the little yellow balls have smiley faces printed on them. Like the ball is one big smiley face. But I can never see one clearly enough to see the whole smiley face. That part of every yellow ball is buried or obscured by other balls. It's weird, I can't see the smiley face on any ball no matter how hardly I grab one and look at it or rummage through all the balls, but I know it's there on each one. I always just see the edge of the smile or one eye or something. There is a woman standing next to the tank, I think I know her somehow, and I am trying to talk to her through the Plexiglas and show her that I can see the smiley faces on the balls, even though I can't. She doesn't seem very interested in what I'm saying.

2/23/02:

    Can't really remember. There was something involving a row of fenced-in tennis courts that had that green plastic stuff on the fence. The sun was out and it was shining through the chain link fences making strobe patterns as you walked by. There was me and some people that kind of lived on the courts and I think we may have been trapped at one point. It seems like I was anxious to wait for some kind of transportation thing that was going to take me away from there to. That's all I remember - really vague.

2/24/02:

    There was some situation where I was being dropped off by a friend in this vast, lush park. The park was filled with trees and big open grassy areas. It seemed like Spring time and the sun was out and there were no clouds in the sky. I think I was supposed to go visit this building in the park. The big building has a greek style facade with columns and big stairs leading up to the entrance. It's a big building and looks like an art museum. I go inside the building. Inside is this vast, trendy store that sells really expensive trendy clothing and lots of weird little hip objects, like little Japanese toys and stereo speakers made out of gourds and graffiti spray paint accessories and groovy sneakers - accessories you see profiled in hip downtown magazines. The interior of the store is vast but very minimal. Plain hard wood floors and white walls and high ceilings. There are many big rooms and these interesting stairways that lead to other levels. There is trendy techno music playing in the store.
    At one point my friend James is there and he approaches me. He seems to work there. We are soon sitting on this weird shaped couch by this window near a stairwell. He is showing me this little plastic hairy toy with eyes all over it from Japan. Then he is helping me try on these weird shoes. Sometimes he is James and sometimes he isn't - he's somebody else I don't know. He is often pulled away from me by other employees that need his help.
    Then I am out of the store and in the car of the person who dropped me off at the park. I am on the phone with someone. I am telling the person on the phone about James working at the store. We both seem surprised that he would be working at a place like this and we discuss it.

2/25/02:

    Can hardly remember dream at all. I think my friend from Dallas, Douglas, may have been in it. We were walking around some mall or plaza and Doug had this extreme new wave haircut? Was I carrying a big keychain full of car keys? Did I drive there? That's all I remember.

2/26/02:

    I'm in some cramped space with two other people. All I can see are the two people's heads and I can't see their faces. Usually I see their necks and shoulders and the backs of their heads. One of the people is confiding in me that the other person doesn't tell people how he really feels, ever, and that he suppresses his feelings too much - and this is a problem. Then the first person points their finger behind their back towards the other person (I can see the person telling me this and pointing their finger has their shirt on inside out and I can see the tag of their shirt exposed). They point their finger towards the guy who supposedly has a problem sharing his feelings and I look over at the guy. I see the guy's neck and then I kind of instantly see these things that look like large rectangular sugar cubes that are in this kind of brown paper sack tube - like a brown paper sack that has been kind of lightly rolled to make a tube that kind of looks like a human throat. The first person tells me that each one of these sugar cubes represent every time this guy suppresses a feeling when he knows he shouldn't. The person tells me that every time the guy does this, another "sugar cube" goes in his throat and gets stuck there and that if he keeps it up soon they will choke him. I can see the tube paper sack with the sugar cubes in it kind of super-imposed over the guy's neck, like I see them both at the same time. Just then another cube pops into the sack. The first person reaches over and shakes the sack a little so the sugar cubes kind of settle in the sack and says "See! There goes another one!"

2/27/02:

    I am laying on my couch after working hard all day. I suddenly remember that, laying in the corner of my apartment is this row of fake teeth that are made for my mouth. They are more than toy fake, they are actual real fake teeth - like dentures - like a dentist would make for you, really expensive. It is just about 5 teeth that go on the upper right side of my mouth. One of the teeth on the row is off color, like gray or brown, and there is this rectangular cube thing that looks like a bridge or something that is connecting two of the teeth. One of the viewers of my website has sent this to me in the mail for some reason, as a present. I suddenly remember that I have it and I am thinking "Oh yea - that person sent me these fake teeth, I guess I should try them out."

2/28/02:

    I am on stage at some weird theater where I don't know where it is. Sherry Vine is on stage with me. We are in front of an audience and we are doing a version of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet". Sherry is Juliet and she is behind this speaking podium at stage left. She is saying lines and I am on stage waiting for my turn. There is this weird thing in this show in that between each single line of dialogue, there is a ten minute intermission. Very odd. I guess the play will last like 40 hours or something like that. It's also a good thing because, as I am watching Sherry recite this one long line, I realize that I had showed up for the performance without learning any of my lines at all. I have no idea what to say and I don't know "Romeo and Juliet" well enough to just wing it. I am reassuring myself while watching Sherry recite her line that I will be able to look over the script during each ten minute intermission and memorize my next line. Whew... what a lucky break.