9/1/01:

    It seems that I am visiting Austin, Texas alone for some reason. I know I am in Austin, although it looks nothing like the Austin I know, and Bryan is not there.
    At one point I live in this old, abandoned warehouse with this older guy as a roommate. Other people also live in the warehouse. Sometimes the old guy looks like Casey Kassum. We share a table that has all our computer stuff on it. We also seem to work there - as we have these various "tasks" we have to perform.
    One of my tasks is to "re-arrange" the graphics on The Swingers "Counting the Beat" album cover and then present the new design to the band through their webpage, which I seem to have made too. Weird. Another of my tasks is to cut the hair off all of these little dolls that are made of construction paper - the hair is also made of construction paper. I am about to cut the hair (it is nightime and all the other people in the house are asleep) and the old guy is up with me. The old man had brought the dolls into the room for me. I take the dolls into another room. I set them down and have no idea how I'm going to do it. The old guy walks in and I say "Wow! How am I gonna cut all these dolls hair?!" and he's like "Um. I don't know" and suddenly I realize that the old guy had placed the dolls next to me earlier in the room next to a metal lathe saw. I say "Ohhhh... you put the dolls there so I would use the lathe saw!" and he kind of looks away and sort of smiles and says nothing. He did do that? He doesn't know what I'm talking about but taking the credit anyway? This old man has stuff to teach me? This old man brings out things in me that help me discover things for myself? Is this a mentor relationship? Am I the mentor? Hmmmmmm...
    Then it is very late at night and I am at one of the computers at the table. I am doing something on a webpage or something and suddenly my screen starts to do funny things and have really cryptic graphics and all. I think the computer needs re-booting so I reach down to the tower under the table and hit the switch. Nothing happens. I keep hitting the switch. Still nothing. I hit other switches. I look down and realize I was hitting the wrong switch on the wrong tower - the old man's computer - which was right next to the tower for my computer. Oops! I look down and try to put the switches back in the position they were. I hope I didn't mess up his machine.
    Then it is daytime and I am on a bicycle tour of Austin. I am riding along with these people and the tour guide is pointing out this giant grassy mound in the distance through these trees. The mound has words kind of "mowed" into the grass but I can't make out what the words are.
    Then it is nightime and I am walking along this avenue with heavy foot traffic - like people walking along. It's a big party spot, people are everywhere. I see this entrance to a popular bar down this dark alley and all these people around it.
    Then it is daytime and I am in my bathroom in the abandoned warehouse. I am switching my contacts in my eye for these much larger ones. They are soft contacts but they are REALLY big for some reason.
    Then I am walking in the daytime along that same strip I was at the night before. I pass the alley where I saw the bar. I go into it and it looks like you can go out the other side - but you can't, there is an iron bar fence. I am kind of trapped in the alley and it's dark and I am walking through little corridors that jut out from the alley and I'm trapped. Little slivers of sunlight are shining into the walls of the alley from the overhead grating. I realize there is a guy in the alley with me and I get a little scared because I think he might try to harm me (I saw this guy loitering around the alley the night before and earlier today). So I quickly get out of the alley, walk down to the end of the street, turn left, and go to the street that I could see through the iron bars on the other side of the alley that I couldn't pass through.
    It is another similar street but on one side is the edge of a giant, lush, green meadow. People and families are walking along it and the weather is beautiful and it's really nice. I walk over to the meadow and walk into it. I see the grassy mound I had seen the day before on the bike tour. The words mowed into it seem to be a message from the local P-FLAG organization. Weird. I am walking closer to the mound and see a lot of people taking pictures around me. It seems this rock under the ground in this meadow is this special kind of light stone that you can make this really delicious bread out of. I see people walking around with packages of this bread that they have bought at little shops in the area. Everyone is talking about the bread.
    Suddenly I have a package of the bread, which comes in a large kind of rounded disk that is wrapped in paper. I open it up and taste it - it has the consistency of hard, dry, stale bread. It just crumbles in your hand. It is sweet and very dry and kind of maybe tastes like corn bread. It tastes like nothing I've ever had before. There is definitely sugar in it. Is the sugar naturally in the rock that makes the bread or do they add it?
    As I am walking along the path in the meadow with my bread, I can kind of remotely "see" a local newscast about the bread. I can kind of watch this local TV newscast in the air in front of me as I'm walking in the meadow. There is a female news anchor named Joan doing a story about the bread. She is sitting behind the news desk in her business suit with her papers, looking into the camera saying "Well... the bread only comes from the rock in this area, and people come from all over just to get it. It has gotten the name 'Sawdust Bread' because it kind of tastes like sawdust with sugar in it!" and all the co-anchors are like "Sawdust bread!?!? Ewww!" and the news anchor is like "Yep! Sawdust Bread! ...and what a boom this bread has caused in our local economy!!! ...now back to you Diane and Frank for weather and sports" and the co-anchor says "Thanks for that interesting report Joan! Wow! Sawdust Bread... I think I want some... what do you think Frank? Do you want some?" and Frank is like "I love the stuff!"
    I am gnawing on my disc of bread and realizing it does feel and taste like sawdust but that I love it. How wild. I want to share the bread with people I know.
    Then suddenly one of the gigantic contact lenses that I had pops out of my eye. I grab it (it takes two hands to hold) and I am going to try to pop it back into my eye quickly since I don't have any contact lens solution or anything. The thing is GIGANTIC, like the size of a raincoat and just as heavy. It is a huge dome-shaped piece of yellow-ish semi-transparent plastic and is about a half inch thick. How the Hell did I have this in my eye in the first place? It's kind of freaking me out and I find a mirror on a wall near the walkway and I'm trying to put the contact back in my eye before it dries out and I put this itty bitty part of the edge of the huge plastic dome in my eye. How am I going to shove the rest of this huge thing in my eye without squashing my brain? How was it there in the first place? It's thickness is even bigger that my eyelid! The lens itself is bigger than my upper body. I wonder how much it weighs? I notice this young kid sitting at a table behind me watching me, he can't stop staring.
    What the hell is going on? I'm standing there trying to come to grips with the whole situation and trying in vain to put the huge thing in my eye. I don't have anywhere to put it if I can't put it in my eye so I guess I HAVE to put it in somehow. Ugh it's heavy and my arms are starting to hurt. I wish I was back in my bathroom in my house because obviously I would know what to do there because that's where I got it in in the first place.

9/2/01:

No dreams.

9/3/01:

    I'm living in another warehouse space similar to the 9/1 dream. I don't know what city I'm in. It's always night time outside the warehouse and there are colored lights around outside the windows. There is a young, cute asian guy that is an artist that is having a showing of his drawings in a room in the warehouse. I am "in charge" of making sure some of the details of his drawings get completed before the opening. I have to write words on some of the drawings - they have text messages on them. I have to write the words on the drawings with a quill pen and black ink. There is a girl with long hair helping me.
    The opening comes and goes and is a big success. At the end of it when I'm kind of looking around the empty gallery, I see the guest book and wonder if I should sign it or not since everyone there and the artist are all my friends. I think my bedroom is near the gallery space.
    Then I'm out on the street, at night, in a crowded area or square or something. Me and my friends are kind of in the middle of the plaza or whatever and are yelling. One girl we are with is waving a big red flag and is like "Whooooo! Whoooooo!" We are all drinking beer and are having a really good time. Lots of people are paying attention to us. I am thinking "I like my friends and what I have done with my life here in New York. I am happy."

9/4/01:

    I'm with some young Asian guy in the same warehouse from the 9/1 dream (why do I still keep going/living there?) We are in his room and he has this stack of what looks like panes of glass that have pieces of brown paper between each one to protect them from getting scratched. The stack is about 1 and 1/2 feet high. He is smoking and standing up and looking down at the stack. He keeps touching it. I am siting in a chair watching him. We are both discussing the stack of glass and trying to figure something out about it. What... I don't know. There are drafting tables and design supplies all over the room.

9/5/01:

    I am in a big building with a lot of people I don't know. The building is very lavish like a grand hotel in Las Vegas or something - very overdone and ornate, and all the rooms are gigantic. I am in this kind of balcony/hallway and I am preparing these two little dishes in these rectangular foil things - like the kind you get with to-go food. The dishes involve this long, semi-transparent red thing that looks like a tongue, and some other stuff that looks like large grains of white rice. Some of the rice is different colors, slightly - like really light pastel colors that you can barley tell are there.
    So I have to arrange the clumps of rice and the tongue thing differently in each aluminium thing. I seem to be going by some kind of instructions that I know somehow. It's very Japanese-looking, the food arrangements I am doing.
    There is a couple, a man and a woman, sitting on a nearby couch in each other's laps. They are drinking tropical drinks. They are watching me make the two weird dishes. They keep laughing as I try to curl up the tongue thing into a spiral on one of them. They seem really entertained by me. It is at this point that I realize that I have a boyfriend who I am thinking of as I make these dishes, I seem to be making them FOR him - per his instructions. I can see him in my mind as I make them - he is wearing a large, white suit like Steve Martin use to wear in his old stand-up routine, or John Travolta wore in "Saturday Night Fever". I get the feeling my boyfriend is Steve Martin-ish.
    So the couple really start to laugh when it seems that I have to wear the dishes on my head and walk out of the "hotel". I keep trying to make sure one of the dishes stays on my head, I keep trying to get the tongue to stay in place (on my forehead) and it keeps flopping off and coming un-curled. It's really slapstick. The couple keeps bursting out in laughter every time something goes wrong and they are staring at me waiting for the next time they can laugh and point. I can barley get out of the balcony without the food falling all over the place. I notice one of the tongue things is starting to "dissolve" a little bit in the white rice inside of one of the containers. It's getting all jelly-like.

9/6/01:

    I know I dreamed something about Madonna but I can't remember what. I do remember something about someone standing in a doorway (in the same warehouse as in the 9/1 dream?) and also something about this object that looked like a brown egg (that had been boiled?) cracking open. Was the egg a person's head that cracked open?
    Oh wait - now something is coming back. I was with this person I do not know. Sometimes this person was a woman with red hair and sometimes it was a guy that kind of looked like Keanu Reeves. We were both government military people who worked in the extraterrestrial or paranormal investigation division of the government or something like that. We were being sent down to investigate this underwater UFO complex that had been deep under the ocean for centuries and that had just contacted humans on land for the first time. We had to wear these special suits that would prevent us from imploding from the water pressure that deep under the ocean.
    We were standing in this kind of Hollywood-sci-fi-movie looking room that was all lit up dramatic-like and were waiting to be lowered into this round passageway that would open up. It all seemed fake/real at the same time. The other person I was with was a female at the point until she put the suit on. Then she was the Keanu-looking guy. We are waiting on a round circle to be lowered into the water. I can tell that outside the building it is night time. The circle opens and we are lowered into the water in out suits.
    This part seems very real and frightening. It is pitch black darkness and very, very cold. It is very scary. Totally quiet. I can feel the pressure of the water all around me and every once in a while I see the faint outline of something moving around me. I can feel the momentum of the water rushing around my body as we are lowered very quickly into the deep, deep ocean bottom. It is really very scary. As we get much lower, there actually appears to be a little light and I can make out that there is absolutely nothing around us, nothing above, below or to the side. I still know that my partner is beside me, being lowered along with me. We are arm-in-arm. There is so much endless, infinite space around us but we are under the thick dark water and it is really creepy and claustrophobic. We keep going lower.
    At this point I start to talk to my partner via these little microphones in our helmets. We are communicating about how there is this special feature on our suits that allows us to "hear" these weird sounds/vibrations that the aliens communicate with. My partner says they have never been used for real before and he is worried that they won't work. There seems to be the implication that if they don't work properly that we will be in some kind of danger. I sense that we are approaching the underwater alien complex.
    We arrive underwater on the surface of this large metal disc. Sometimes we seem to be outside the disc, underwater, on top of it... but sometimes what is around us "changes" and we seem to be inside a room, away from the water - with our helmets off. It kind of switches back and forth - very odd. When we are in the room I see those cheap strings of moving lights - that look like liquid lights are "moving" through them (that you can buy at lighting stores) - lining all the corners of the room - very corny.
    Soon there is an "alien" standing across from where we are, looking at us. He has what looks like a Hollywood-style make up job as an alien head. Kind of reptilian with big black eyes and pointy ears and a hideous beak-like mouth. He is wearing a cape with a high collar like the evil queen wore in Snow White. The rest of him just looks like a normal human in a black, all-over, spandex body suit. He gets closer to us and puts his hands in front of his head and starts to "make sounds" or "vibrations" that we are supposed to be able to pick up and understand with our special suits. I see the "sounds" coming out of the alien's head as these flat colored shapes, like transparent colored pieces of film in bright red and yellow and blue and orange that kind of float out of his head and come in our direction. I am able to "understand" these flat colored shapes thanks to my special suit. Me and my partner both have our helmets off and are holding them in out hands. I look over at my partner to see if he can "read" the "vibrations". At this point my partner totally looks like Keanu. He is standing there looking in the direction of the alien. His mouth is gaping wide open and he looks kind of scared. He cannot understand the colored vibration shapes and for some reason this is a serious problem. He appears to not be able to breath because of this. Is his suit not working? Can he just not understand them? He looks pretty frightened and maybe suffocating. I do not feel the need to help him at all for some reason. He appears to be kind of paralysed. I get the sense that something sinister is going on.
    Soon I get the sense that master control up above the surface of the water is arranging to pull my partner back up to the surface of the water because he can't understand the vibrations and is in trouble. I see out of the corner of my eye the girl with red hair (who is holding a clip board) behind my partner. She is stooped down and is arranging something on the back of my partner's suit. How did she get down here? She doesn't have a suit on. I turn, kind of, and see that behind us looks like the edge of a set and ladders and tech guys and lights and continuity people with scripts. It's all fake - we never left the surface. I know I wasn't supposed to see this.
    I look towards the alien again and then back behind me. All the fake set stuff is gone suddenly and the alien room seems "real" again. My partner I know will be raised to the surface of the water soon, this makes me feel lonely and apprehensive. Suddenly, like a rush, I then get this really overwhelming sensation all over my body that what I am experiencing is indeed real and I am not to question it's authenticity.

9/7/01:

Whoa!!! A Freudian bonanza last night!!!

    At the beginning of the dream I am inside a giant birth canal that is actually the set of a FOX made for TV movie. Sometimes the made for TV movie appears to be some foreign film that I rented and am showing to friends. Yet somehow, sometimes what is happening on the "set" of the giant birth canal is actually real and I am actually experiencing it. Sometimes I am a character in the film, sometimes I am an observer "watching" the film on a TV screen in a dark room with friends, and sometimes I am just myself and am participating in what is happening in the film and the film is reality and there actually is no "film". Got all that? Hey, it's dream logic.
    Here's what's happening in the giant birth canal:
    I am part of some rogue team of renegades or terrorists that exist in the future. We inhabit this giant vagina for a purpose, a mission. The walls of the canal look just like you would thing, all red and curvy and like giant slabs of vagina muscle walls. Not slimey though. We all wear these black SWAT-like uniforms with laser guns and special goggles and everything. We have all kinds of computer surveillance equipment inside the vagina, very high tech. Sometimes the walls of the canal turn into just regular dark walls with windows, and then back again. Our "mission" seems to involve these itty bitty tiny little oval shaped pellets of ice. They look like tiny transparent pearls. When you get up close to the tiny little oval pellets of ice you see a dot of orange and black in the center of each one. This is a tiny almost embryonic goldfish. The orange part is it's developing body, the black part it's eye and it little tail is near transparent. The near microscopic body of the almost developed goldfish sits frozen in the center of this tiny little round (oval) ice thing.
    There are millions and billions of these little frozen round ice things with tiny goldfish in them that we have to deal with or "control" or "help" somehow. These little things live somewhere in the walls of the giant vagina and at some certain time they all come rushing out of various parts of the walls and all rush like mad in one direction to an opening at one end that appears to be the way "out" of the vagina. They get dumped "out" of the vagina this way (why are the sperm going 'out' of what appears to be the entrance of the vagina? Or is that the passageway 'in' to where the eggs are?) Our "mission" is to help them along and make sure nothing goes wrong, when this occurs.
    This happens twice during my dream. All the frozen pellets with fish in the rush out of the walls and zoom in a frenzy toward one end (the end they go to gets all small like it would be hard to fit through and there is a kind of traffic jam as they all try and fit through). We have a webcam pointed at the end of the vagina where they are trying to escape. We can watch the progress on a video monitor from another end of the vagina. It looks really pretty, zillions of the frozen little fish spheres all rushing and vibrating like crazy in a river of determination, against a red orange background. It looks like an old 4AD album cover design. Sometimes the webcam does a close up and you can really see the little fish and the look of hope in their eyes.
    The leader of our group looks like Christopher Walken. There is also someone on our team that looks like that actress from that FOX TV show "Dark Angel", Max Guevara (at one point she is in training and is at a computer console with a hand held video game type handle and is trying to do something important and is having a hard time and Christopher Walken is yelling at her and the 'camera' of the film kind of moves in on her chapped lips - which I know are make up since this is a movie - and it's all very dramatic). I think the comedian Kathy Griffin is also on our team. Every time the fish come out it is a mad rush for us to make sure it's all going well and then as the fish are kind of on their way and all crowding around the exit to the vagina, we all sit around the video monitor and watch or listen to Christopher Walken tell old stories about his old days in the giant vagina frozen fish days (he seems to be an old veteran at it). He always interrupts his own stories for a second and says "You know, you can go observe the frozen fish crowding down at the other end of the vagina or you can observe it on this video monitor hook up thing we have...that's new. It was my idea!" He always says this very self-satisfied. We are all quiet while he tells his stories.
    Then I seem to be in another reality, another NYC that looks nothing like NYC. It is sunny and daytime. There is one point where I am trying to do something secret under this grassy highway underpass - I am trying to make these drawings on paper or something and there is a sidewalk near me and this line of school children who all have really strange hairstyles are walking along it. I don't want them to see me for some reason.
    Then I'm walking down the street and suddenly I hear people screaming and saying stuff like "It's a really big accident" and "Oh my God!!!" and I run to the intersection and look down the street (the next intersection seems to drop off into the Hudson River - so I must be somewhere on the upper east side) and I see this gigantic concrete "cone" thing that has tiered steps like a pyramid - but it's a cone. It is spinning slowly and as it does I see a bunch of people getting kind of "dumped" onto it from above somewhere. Some of the people are dead already and others are screaming and trying to get off the cone and getting crushed. It's really a major deal and really horrific. My adrenaline rushes and I grab my cell phone and dial 911. As I am I am thinking "A lot of people are probably calling 911 from their cells but I'm going to call anyway - I wonder if 911 waits to hear a certain amount of calls on major disasters before they know if it's a hoax or not - because really that is the first they would hear about it and if it was just one call it might be a prank." I am stuttering and choking on tears as I talk to the 911 operator because it's such an intense scary moment.
    After I hang up the phone after giving the operator the information I look up and see the disaster is just getting worse. Whole 18 wheeler trucks and cars with people in them are getting dumped onto the cone and everyone is getting crushed and people are screaming and it's awful.

9/8/01:

    Briefly remember seeing Thurston Moore throw some stuff out of a van onto a sidewalk - like he is getting home in NYC and is piling everything of his next to his front door to take into his apartment.
    Also saw or "observed" what looked like some COPS-style TV show where a woman was running around a rainy Philadelphia looking for someone. One area she was in looked like this apartment complex my grandmother on my mother's side of the family used to live in. At least I thought so in the dream - I was thinking "This apartment complex looks just like Gran's wow! I'm dreaming it!" - ahhhh I was conscious that I was dreaming!
    Then when I woke up I realized it looked nothing like her apartment complex.

9/9/01:

    I am with Gregory and we are living in some little itty bitty small southern town. We have moved there to get away from NYC and we have a simple life now. The town is very small and really nice, everybody knows each other. We spend all our time in some community center making these really intricate quilts. We are sitting there talking and Gregory says "I want everything around me to be a masterpiece. I want to be able to place every object within my sight separately on a pedestal and contemplate it."

9/10/01:

No dreams. Jolted out of REM sleep by explosion of 2nd plane hitting World Trade Center.

9/11/01:

No dreams. I find that most of my body functions seem to be on hold or are not there (hunger, need for sleep, sex drive, etc...) due to the disaster.

9/12/01:

No dreams. OF NOTE: My friend Kim in Dallas pointed something out very creepy that I had not noticed. Look at my 9/7 dream, from last Friday, especially the last part - but the whole thing actually. Very chilly!

9/13/01:

    Very creepy, fast, brief dream:
    I was looking at someone that was standing next to a very tall wall covered in tan-colored stucco. The person is standing next to some entrance in the wall. They are probably about 50 yards away from me. I have something that looks like a plastic toy robot in my hand. I also have the "controls" for the toy in my hand - it appears to be a radio controlled toy that can become airborne. The toy looks like a kind of cartoon pterodactyl with lit-up plastic eyes. My controls can make it fly.
    I soon become aware that the person I don't know or can see clearly standing far from me next to the wall is some kind of deadly enemy who must be destroyed. The radio controlled flying toy I have is some kind of weapon that might destroy the enemy and I must use it to try to kill them. Soon I also become aware that another person is standing 50 yards to my left. This person, the person against the wall and me make the three points of a triangle. I somehow know that the person at my left also has a radio controlled toy/weapon that they are going to use against the enemy standing against the wall. The other person's weapon is more powerful than mine and has more of a chance of destroying the enemy.
    The two of us decide to concentrate our efforts and send our weapons one after the other. The more powerful one will be sent first. I see the other person's toy zoom out of his hands and go in the enemy's direction. I shoot mine off right at that moment. As my toy zooms away from me and at the enemy, I can kind of "see" from it's perspective like it has a camera mounted on it's head.
    I somehow know that the other person's toy is the best hope in destroying the enemy person and that it's success in doing so is almost guaranteed. I also get the sense that if it does not destroy the enemy then there is nothing left that will destroy him and all hope is lost. My weapon is mostly just a show of force and is not really that powerful.
    As my toy zooms toward the enemy, all hopes are that it will hit an already destroyed enemy. As it approaches, I can "see" the enemy more clearly. The enemy has the first weapon in it's hands. It has "broken the neck" of the toy/weapon effortlessly, the weapon had no effect on it. The enemy just caught it in his hands like a paper airplane and twisted it's neck and rendered it powerless. The enemy looks very relaxed as it does this.
    As my toy approaches the enemy, I see the enemy look up, with the first weapon it his hands, and the enemy is me. He has my exact face. It really creeps me out.
    The I dreamed that I was "floating" silently through the footbridge of the Williamsburg Bridge going into Brooklyn. Like I was flying through it. There was no sound.

9/14/01:

    I am cleaning the dust of this gigantic blue metal file cabinet. I am using paper towels and Windex. The cabinet looks brand new as I am cleaning it. Someone is standing next to me and I am telling them that this is what I do for a living now and that I am very happy.

9/15/01:

    It is night time and I am somewhere I do not know in Dallas, Texas. It is a warm summer night and I am kind of "floating" towards this large, modern-looking hotel that seems to be on the edge of a highway. There are no cars. I see the darkness of the lush, green fields in all different directions of the hotel. There are tall street lights dotting the landscape that shine circles of light onto the bright green grass and attract flying bugs. I hear crickets and insects everywhere. As I float towards what looks like the back of the hotel, I feel totally at peace. Where I am seems totally perfect in every way and I feel wonderful, like life is beautiful.
    I kind of float near the windows of the side of the hotel, I can see inside to the fantastic lobby. I see glasses lining what looks like a bar. Sometimes I am "inside" the hotel lobby and sometimes I am floating outside it. When "inside" I see a bowl of free candy on one of the tables and I wonder if I should take some. I sense there are people working at the front desk of the lobby and I somehow get the sense that I am "breaking in" and shouldn't make myself known. As I am floating around the outside I feel totally at peace and happy.
    Sometimes I sense that I am "seeing" all of this from a round kind of window or passageway that leads directly from this scene from my home in New York City. There seems to be a fat, older man on the New York side of the window that is "in charge" of my out-of-body visit to this area in Dallas. He seems to think that I deserve this and arranged for me to do it.

9/16/01:

    I am trying to leave a building in NYC. An office building. I have been there a very long time and I want to leave. There is this 8x10 photograph of a male and female couple that I am looking at - I have it at my desk. Sometimes the figures in the photo are cut out and sometimes they are there. For some reason I must recreate the scene in the photograph before I will be allowed to leave. I have to use what I have in the office to "re-enact" what is happening in the photo. There is a man with grey/white hair that I sometimes see standing above me or behind me. He is my "boss" and is making sure I don't leave before I re-enact the photo.
    Re-enacting the photo seems impossible using just myself and the office supplies I have there. I know it can't be done. It seems hopeless and I feel trapped.

9/17/01:

    I'm talking on the phone with my friend Shane about lawyers for some reason. And I can kind of "see" that weird diner on the corner of 14th Street and Ave. B.

9/18/01:

    There were parts of the dream where I seemed to be on the beach in France, and also some parts where I was in this weird food court in Manhattan and I was setting up this blond girl I was with who was with this soap opera-looking guy at this table that was with Valerie Harper. Then a weird part where I was a DJ at WFMU and I was playing music and the DJ booth was my bedroom.
    Also a creepy part where me and these other young boys (was I a young boy in the dream?) and we were looking at a large scale model of Manhattan and we were playing this game where we had to look at these various spheres of wet, grey clay that were slowly hovering towards the model of NYC. We had to identify if they were plastic explosives or just normal clay.
    But the most vivid part of the dream was that I was getting a endoscopy examination. A fiber optic camera was exploring around my colon and we were all watching what it was seeing. I was with a doctor and there were some other people there two, friends of mind I think, and we were in his office and we were looking at this giant projected image of what a camera was seeing as it roamed around my intestines. They were looking for things that shouldn't be there. My colon looked HUGE!!! Like a giant sewer that you could walk through. Sometimes we were looking at the projected image and sometimes I think we were actually inside the colon walking around!
    The weird thing was is that there was all kinds of junk down there!!! Soda cans, old shoes, trash, construction site plywood, newspapers! They were like "Wow! You're gonna need surgery!!!" At one point the camera approached this giant wooden raft/crate that looked like it might have poop on it and everyone looked away really fast and was like "Eeeew! Ugh! No!"
    At the end of the endoscopy, me and the doctor and friends (now inside my colon) walked out of the end - which looked like the sidewalk entrance to the basement of a building in Manhattan, and all crawled out into the street and went to our separate homes. That was when I ran into the food court.

9/19/01:

    For some reason I am driving a van to somewhere to meet someone important from my past, back in Dallas. In the back of the van I have all these empty coffee cans and strings of weird plastic beads and stuffed animals and pinwheels and plastic flowers and little mirrors and little toys and little disco balls and stuff. Most of these items have been spray painted different wild colors, in stripes and patterns sometimes. For some reason I am aware that, before I meet this person, I am going to pull the van over and "decorate" the entire outside of the van with all this junk. The van will be covered in all this stuff and look like something out of a parade or a little human interest article in a magazine with a photo with a caption that says something like "Look at this crazy car!"
    For some reason I want to cover the van in all this stuff and then ram it head-on into the oncoming car of the old friend I am going to meet. I want to be like "HERE I AM!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *SMASH!* I know they will be travelling on the same road and I want to surprise them as we both smash head-on into each other. I have no idea why I want to do this.
    A cop pulls me over and for some reason the van is suddenly decorated. He is trying to see me inside the driver's side window but it's hard because the outside is covered in all these pieces of old rocking chairs that have been spray painted gold. I'm afraid he's going to make me take all the stuff off the van.

9/20/01:

    Nightmares.
    I kept dreaming that a nuclear explosion was going off in Manhattan and that everyone died really slowly and gruesomely. I kept hearing planes overhead. I kept hearing explosions and thinking it was real. I imagined myself discovering Domenic in a pile of bloody dust in his room, except his head is still intact with the eyes open wide and mouth open. I grab a bag of stuff and run outside and try to make it away from NYC on foot. I had a toothbrush in my mouth the whole time. The air is orange and green. None of my friends are alive anymore. I collapse not very far into Brooklyn and I am vomiting blood and my skin is falling off and I just totally collapse dead. Everyone around me is screaming and dying in the streets. I can't remember any details except that it was an awful dream.

9/21/01:

No dreams.

9/22/01:

    I'm in some train station/subway station that looks like a mutant version of Port Authority in New York. I am trying to get on the right train but I can't figure out how the trains work or which one I'm supposed to take. I am walking on top of the trains as they are parked in the station. I am also climbing on top of the metal arches that are over the trains as they are parked. I keep walking from train to train and I keep trying to get a good view of the passengers as they are getting on the trains - and as they are buying tickets at the ticket windows - to see if I can figure out how to get where I want to go. There seem to be other people on top of the trains, walking around, trying to do what I'm doing.
    Soon one of the trains I am on top of starts moving. There are other people on top of the train with me. It looks like when the train leaves the station, as it goes out the exit, we will all be knocked off of the top of the exit door as the train leaves. We don't. As the train leaves there is this giant plastic "scoop" that scoops us all up and holds us there above the exit until another train comes. As soon as another train comes the scoop dumps us onto the top of it and the new train carries us to the other side of the station, where another scoop lifts us up and holds us above the exit as that new train exits out of the station. This goes on for a long time, from top of train to top of train, from scoop to scoop, from one part of the station to the other and back again all depending on what train enters the station and which one we get dumped onto. We are not travelling in the trains the traditional, or even legal, way. But there seems to be a system in place to take care of us. Like we are expected. I get the sense that if I stay on this top-of-train plastic-scoop system long enough, that I will eventually find my way home again - but it all has to do with luck and it takes a long time.
    As we are all sitting in yet another plastic scoop over yet another entrance waiting for another train to come in that we can be lowered onto - I look up on the wall and see there are all these layers of plastic scoops that are waiting to come out of the wall if needed. They are color-coded and each one seems to have a purpose - depending on which train it will be lowering people onto and whatever. The system seems entirely automated and mechanical. The plastic scoops are all scratched and worn from wear. The system seems to have been there for a long time.
    As we are all sitting on the scoop waiting for another train I look through this window and see this cleaning lady mopping the floor in another far-off section of the station. I'm thinking about how interesting that they have this mechanical system to take care of us train-hoppers and I wonder why I'm on it.

9/23/01:

Dream Journal halted from 9/23 - 9/28 due to my hard drive crashing.

9/29/01:

    I'm in some unknown city that I do not recognize. The city is fantastic - with giant buildings and long overhead walkways and everything. Lots of lights. It always seems to be dusk. There is a blond man in a black raincoat that kind of looks like Klaus Kinski who seems to be pursuing me - with malicious intent! I know that this person is a vampire and he also has the ability to float or hover in the air. I am going from gigantic, fantastic, cathedral-like building lobby to gigantic, fantastic, cathedral-like building lobby to try and out smart or out run this guy. I am walking around the city trying to ADMIRE the amazing terrain and architecture - but whenever I get to a spot where I want to stop and look at something - ol' Klaus vampire look-alike comes floating around the corner in pursuit of me. So I have to move. At one point I am outside and am looking up at this gigantic criss-cross pattern of all these overhead walkways that go higher and higher into the gray sky - it's really breathtaking, but Klaus hovers near me and I have to go. He moves slow but persistently.
    Eventually I end up at some young woman's apartment that has these shutter windows that look out onto the street. Her place reminds me of one of the settings of Roman Polanski's "The Fearless Vampire Killers" film. She is freaking out and I am explaining that I am being pursued by this guy. It is nighttime now. We are preparing for the worst but I know that it will just be a matter of time before he finds his way here. t's hopeless yet I seem remarkably calm.
    Then I am somewhere else kind of "witnessing" Deborah Harry win an Emmy award for something. Sometimes I seem to be watching the awards ceremony on TV, and sometimes I seem to be at the awards ceremony itself, kind of floating above everyone and watching. When Debbie wins she walks up the grand stairs to the podium and stops on the stairs and raises her fist in the air like "Yea!" and everyone cheers. Her hair is silver blond and kind of long and all matted and teased out to look really big. She looks good. When she is sitting in her seat I am looking at her and thinking about how she has this really unique grace/clutzy-ness that is very interesting. I wonder what she won the Emmy for? I wouldn't have guessed that it could have happened. As she is up at the podium making her speech I am thinking about what a weird kind of fame she has.

9/30/01:

No dreams.