Mark Allen's Dream Journal - September, 2002
*note: Date of dream entry refers to day before,the date of the night I went to sleep and the dream I had into the next day's date.


9/1/02:

    Actually had a strange kind of nightmare last night:
    I am observing what looks like an animated cartoon television show. Sometimes the show is animated and sometimes it appears to be in real life. In it, there is what looks like an old man dressed in some kind of military uniform... or he may actually be in a janitor's uniform with a bucket on his head as a helmet. He is carrying a mop - but he is carrying it as you would a rifle. He is inside a very large room made of large gray concrete bricks - like the type you would see the bare walls of a basement made out of. The ceiling of the room is very, very high - I'd say like three stories. My "dream camera eye" is placed way up high on the ceiling... and I am looking down on everything. The room appears to be a cross between a high school gymnasium and a very large utility closet. There are random shelves or things against the wall here and there... but they get lost in the room's huge size. I also think that one half of the room's ceiling is slanted - like a half of a barn or something. There are no windows and the place is lit by huge fluorescent lights on the ceiling that buzz and hum.
    The old man appears to be a night security guard at whatever this place is. I get the impression that it is very, very late at night and no one is in the large, cavernous building (of which this is only one room) except for him. I get the impression that the man is very old and is just given this job because he has nothing else to do. The people in the town gave it to him so he would feel important... but deep down inside the man knows it's just a pity job. The man I think is a war veteran or ex-military type. So he goes from room to room in his mock-military/janitor outfit pretending he's in the war... doing military marches from room to room, saluting coat racks like they are generals and looking for "the enemy" in teacher's supply closets and stuff. It's kind of sad and he is very lonely that he has to do this every night. It's like this charade he goes through to keep himself from getting depressed.
    So anyway, he's in this big room... and it's like 3AM or something. He hears a noise in a closet against the side wall of the room. I get the impression that this is the first time he has actually heard a noise in all the years he has worked here. For some reason he looses the whole "military act" thing and kind of slowly slumps over to the closet door. Then he does something very strange. He just flings the door open and looks inside and says "Sorry Mr. _____________ I didn't mean to disturb you." in this really flat tone of voice. I don't remember who Mr. ______________ is, or the name he said... but apparently this is the old man's boss. For some reason the old man thought that, instead of an intruder, the person inside the closet was Mr. ____________, his boss. Hiding from the old man. This seems totally nuts... I mean what would his boss be doing in that closet at 3AM and why wouldn't the man think it's an intruder?
    As the old man opens the door to the closet... my "camera eye" kind of zooms in from the ceiling and... wait... there IS someone sitting down on the far end of the closet... wrapped in a blanket... with a bucket on their head. Wow! Maybe his boss IS in there! How weird. The old man seems resigned to the whole situation, like it really is his boss in there and this happens all the time. But as my "camera eye" zooms in... it is revealed that the "person" crouched down at the back of the closet is not a person at all... just a mop propped upside down up against the wall with a bucket on top of it and a blanket wrapped around it to LOOK like a person trying to hide. The old man goes back there and lifts the sheet away. He is surprised and a little scared now. What made the noise?
    Just then... the "camera eye" pulls back again and I see the old man from way overhead. He is looking around the room. I suddenly hear the howling wind outside the room, outside the building. It is causing the concrete walls to rattle and moan. The man looks around the room and realizes how totally alone he is. He realizes that the whole town is asleep in the darkness outside and this little scary weird moment was all in his head. Also as the "camera" pulls back I see something weird. Next to this big room is an EXACTLY identical gym with high ceiling room - everything in it is backwards though. Like a mirror image. It's like the closet is a mirror and behind it is the reflection of the room and the man - but in real life, not a reflection. It is like an alternate universe of this man's situation. I see that there is an identical old man in the military/janitor costume standing in the identical room... holding the closet door open. The only thing NOT identical in the alternate reality... is the closet connecting the two rooms. There is only one closet and in the center of the closet is the fake mop and bucket and blanket person that fooled the man... only one of them. These objects, the fake person that startled the old man, and what they represent, seem to be a conduit or portal to the alternate universe... where maybe things are a little bit different.
    The "camera" stays way back up on the ceiling and I am looking at the two alternate universes there... both old men in both huge rooms (unaware of each other), feeling lonely and freaked out a little... the closet in the middle and the fake pile of mop and blanket in the middle. The dark night wind starts howling again and I realize the man feels very lonely and hopeless. The whole thing fills me with this awful feeling of dread and mild horror, and the feeling of something bad about to happen. It's very disturbing.

9/2/02:

No dreams.

9/3/02:

    I live in this weird hybrid of Dave Doorknob's childhood house. It's like his house but everything is shifted around - and seems to be under construction. There is bare dry wall and sheets of painting tarps and maybe small scaffolding everywhere. I seem to live in the house with Guillaume and Gregory. We are all in the kitchen and Gregory is making some tea in the microwave. There is a counter island in the middle of the kitchen - filled with clutter. I am looking at an M. C. Escher framed print on one of the walls. Apparently it is part of some new M. C. Escher CD-ROM that you can buy. I look at the print and see that it is moving - like animation. It looks like four human figures moving a giant slab of stone across the ground by putting rolling sticks underneath it - like the Egyptian slaves supposedly moved the rocks to build the ancient pyramids. I realize that the "cartoon" was not drawn by Escher himself, but by other people who made the CD-ROM. It was drawn in the style of Escher - to advertise the CD-ROM. this makes me a little pissed off for some reason.

9/4/02:

    I'm in some master control room. It is very high tech. It's like control central for a television station or something. I am in there with Gregory. There are other people in the room too but I hardly remember them. Gregory is sitting in a chair behind a huge TV screen. The screen has a series of horizontal lines on it that are different colors. Sometimes there are just a few lines, that are very thick - and sometimes there a millions of lines that are very thin. Also sometimes the lines are actually lines of text. Gregory is typing onto a computer key pad in front of the TV screen. I seem to be reciting things to him... and he is typing them in a certain sequence. We seem to be attempting to accomplish something - I feel like we're rushed... like we're trying to beat the clock or something. Suddenly the big screen in front of Gregory goes *bloooop...* off. It pops off - dead... with that little white dot at the center. We either didn't beat the clock or we overloaded it. Gregory puts his hands up in the air and laughs and turns around in his swivel chair.

9/5/02:

    I dreamed that Jim and I had spent the night in my parent's bed (at a house we lived in a long time ago in Plano, Texas). It was the morning and I think they were coming home (I guess they had been out all night or on vacation) and we were getting up and putting our clothes on and straightening up their room. There seemed to be no problem with us sleeping in their bed.
    Then a total scenario shift: I seem to be living in a cartoon. I think it is a cross between The Simpsons and Futurama. There is this strange reality in the dream - like I am watching an episode of this show on TV... but also kind of "in" the show in a weird way. Sometimes the action changes from animation to real life and then back again. The "plot" seems to involve something about a crying animated cartoon woman who asked someone for help about something with her eyes. This character has a voluptuous body and big, long, ginger-colored hair. Her head is always down and she is always crying and you can see blue-colored tears running out of her face. She asks some character (who seems like an army general or the captain of a fleet of space ships or something like that) to go do something or get something to stop her eyes from crying. There seems to be some significance attached to doing this... like her eyes have a curse placed on them or maybe her whole race of people on her home planet are cursed with this non-stop crying - something like that... a typical sci-fi plot conflict scenario. I seem to be a character who is under the general - who is now on a mission to help the girl.
    Soon we are all on some fast moving train (still in the cartoon) and we seem to be running through a southwest America-looking landscape (animated). We are stationed in these bunk bed areas on one of the cars of the train. Suddenly the general calls us to the center of the train. We all run there and he tells us we are about to collide head on with another train that is heading at high speed in the opposite direction... towards us on the same track. We all brace ourselves. When we collide with the train it's in a really cartoon-y way... like there is an explosion and everyone is thrown around but no one is hurt at all. After the smoke clears away from the impact of the two trains colliding (from the outside)... the "camera" pulls away and reveals that the two trains are now tied in a comical "knot" with a bow and everything... like the impact caused them to do that - very cartoon-y. Inside the mangled trains everyone is just standing wherever they can amongst the twisted and bending cars and hallways... which are running in all direction (kind of like an M. C. Escher drawing). I think I literally see Marge Simpson standing amongst the crowd. It appears that the other train held the crying girl that we were on the mission for. This is like the "meeting" of the girl and our general (who seems to now have what the girl needed). The general very formally (almost like a ceremony - everyone is silently watching) hands the girl (who is sitting down at a wooden desk with her hair covering her face) the thing she needed. She takes it in her hand and then slowly the general backs away. The girl starts to slowly look up. She has a big smile on her face and... as is revealed as her hair falls away from her face... she has only one big eye... not two (like the character Leela in Futurama). Her one eye has tears in it. She starts to laugh this evil laugh and everyone in the car gasps - this is all shocking for some reason. It turns out the crying one eyed girl is evil and tricked the general into getting something special for her... which she will now use to try and conquer the universe or something.

9/6/02:

    I am in Los Angeles - in the day time. I am in some lush suburban neighborhood, in some woman's garage helping to fix some piece of machinery - like an outboard motor or something. The garage door is open and there are a few of us in there - we all seem to have been hired to help this woman. Suddenly we all hear something that sounds like a burglar alarm nearby. We all stop and look up and are like "Whoa!" - even the woman - because it sounds like it's coming from the woman's house. We all run out of the garage and to different parts of the house - on the outside. There is green grass and palm trees and white stone walls and sunlight everywhere. We're all running around in groups.
    I run to what I think is part of the woman's back yard... but I seem to have run into her next door neighbor's back yard. For some reason, I know that the neighbor is this kind-of short, bodybuilder gay guy who lives alone. I am standing in what looks like a fenced-off section of his yard. The fence is very high and made of fresh pine wood (?) There is an abandoned swimming pool in there that has no water... but is filled with machinery that has gages and meters and pipes - like the kind of stuff the electric guy comes to check every month - tons of it - and it's all working. There are also overgrown weeds growing up through the bottom of the pool up through the machinery. The whole area seems over grown and unkempt - weeping willow trees reaching over the fence and piles of dead crepe myrtle flowers blowing across the cracked concrete - the sound of crickets. I walk around the pool to a door in the fence on the other side of the fenced-in area. I walk through that door. There is another weird abandoned pool area. Except this one has fresh cut grass and seems more up kept.
    Suddenly I realize I have been with Gregory this whole time. We look around the pool area. The pool is very odd... it has no water in it... and it has this strange black metal and glass sculptural thing on it that covers the whole top of the pool - right on the edge so you can't even get in the pool (there's no water anyway). The black metal things goes at all kinds of straight angles (like the angles of a giant cut diamond) and has all these glass windows. You can see into the empty concrete pool through the glass parts of the sculpture thing. Gregory gets on one side of the sculpture/pool and sits down next to it - facing it. I get down on the other side and sit down too - facing it. We can see each other through two windows of the sculpture glass.
    Suddenly we are very close - but still separated by the glass (like the sculpture/pool thing shrunk in width). We are facing each other through the glass and talking about everything that just happened. Our voices are semi-muffled because there are two panes of glass between us, but still out in the open air. Suddenly, as we are talking, I realize that my penis is on my chin... like that's where it comes out of... and like that's where it comes out of and has my entire life and it's not unusual. My penis just sticks straight out from my chin. There is no pubic hair or testicles... just my penis. As I talk it bounces up and down. It's really weird... as I'm talking to Gregory I'm stroking it like you would stroke your beard while talking or contemplating something. This of course stimulates it and it starts to get pudgy. I can feel the blood rushing to my chin area and mouth as this happens - like it's all tingly. I can caress the skin on my chin and my lips and neck and even roll my tongue around in my mouth and it feels like I'm stroking my penis - very odd - like all the nerves are connected and when I get an erection (on my chin penis) the immediate area is affected too.  As I am talking to Gregory (still through the glass) I start to say stuff like "Isn't it weird how our penises are on are chins and all?" and "It's like they are just out in the open the whole time... what if we get erections?" This is even though Gregory doesn't have a chin penis at all - his face looks normal. Meanwhile my chin penis is getting harder and harder and bigger and bigger and I get stroking it and talking to Gregory. Soon my hand is cupped around it and it's a full raging hard on and I'm just pumping it really hard and my entire face feels all "tingly" and I start to stop talking and shut my eyes and start to kind of moan and try to talk at the same time... it's like I am going to come. I picture squirting my come on the glass separating Gregory and I before I do. I feel kind of weird doing this in front of Gregory but since my penis is on my chin I get the impression this is "normal" behavior... still I am conflicted though. Gregory has stopped talking and is watching me about to climax. I am in a trance... pumping my raging hard-on chin penis really hard with my eyes half closed from the pleasure... and moaning and going "Ah-yah-yah-yah-yah..." slap-slap-slap and trying to come. It must look really disturbing and twisted.
    But before I can come.. we hear a noise in the first abandoned pool area we saw. I immediately stop stroking my chin penis and we bet really quiet and kind of get down. It's the short bodybuilder gay guy! He's investigating the burglar alarm... which stopped ringing a while ago. For some reason I now know that it was HIS house that had the alarm going off. What will he do when he finds us... two strangers... in his back yard? Will he think we are burglars? Will we be able explain that we thought it was the woman that we were working for's alarm and while investigating accidentally walked into his yard and decided to just "hang out" for a while? I start to get really self conscious about my chin penis - which is now pudgy and post-erection soft. My face still feels tingly. Will the bodybuilder guy have a chin penis? Does anybody but me? Why do I feel like it's normal if no one else has one? I am really embarrassed that if the bodybuilder guy comes back here that he will see that I had an erection. I start to try and think of stuff that will make my hard-on go away... like dead puppies or my grandparents.

9/7/02:

No dreams.

9/8/02:

    There is some situation where I'm laying on a couch - very tired (I may be in my own apartment). I think there is a presence of a blond woman in a beige business suit in the room somewhere. I am laying on the couch and I keep nodding off because I am so tired. For some reason I am aware of these brightly colored little tiny stuffed animal-looking things that are being placed around my face - like in a circle. They look like little bean bags or those little stuffed toy mice you can buy in pet stores for cats to play with. Someone - or something, is placing them in a circle around my face while I nod in and out of sleep. Each little bean bag is a different color. I soon realize that each bean bag has a colored ribbon attached to it. When all the bean bags are done being placed in a circle around my head... whoever was putting them there then takes each one and places directly across from where it was, on the other side of my head. This causes all the ribbons to criss cross across my face. I "wake up" in the dream (a fake wake up) and see there are no ribbons or bean bags. I get freaked out because I know that the next step in the process was going to be to follow the lines set by the ribbons with a razor and slice my face. Someone was going to come into my apartment and slice up my face using the lines set by the ribbons - that was the next step. I get really freaked out. I am "awake" in the dream now (and it seems to be daytime) in my apartment. I get up and look through the peephole in the front door to see if anyone is out there. Then I woke up for real. Very creepy.

9/9/02:

No dreams.

9/10/02:

No dreams

9/11/02:

    Too busy today to record dreams.

9/12/02:

    I was in some fantastic building that had all kinds of levels and stuff. It was like a giant library I think. Outside the sun was shining and it looked like it might have been a college campus. I seem to be in the library looking for something specific. I get the impression that this is the "last day" of something... like the last day of school - it has that energy.
    There was something at some point where I was looking for some giant art book that had this print of a painting of a woman with long red hair, sitting nude by a river. I think I found the book and then took it with me to go into the bathroom. I got into the bathroom and the stalls were in this weird configuration... all the walls of them were twisted around in some maze. There almost seemed to be people "trapped" in them or something... but really casually. I just left.
    Then suddenly I am outside the giant building... behind it. There is a giant courtyard... like the size of a football field. There are some concrete walls and concrete benches... some ramps leading up to the building... it's very "open air" and the sun is shining brightly on all the concrete. I seem to be lying on this wide concrete wall/plaza/walkway thing that separates another kind of long walkway that looks down onto the courtyard. There are a lot of people lounging on the wall... it's very wide so you can just lay on it. I have headphones on connected to a CD player and am laying backwards with the sun on my face. There are lots of people all over the courtyard. I get the impression that it may be kind of early morning. As I'm kind of laying there chilling out, I notice that there are a lot of homeless beggars around on the long walkway... on both sides of the wall. As people walk by the homeless put their hands out. I notice that some look like European gypsy women, some look like american city punk squatters, some look like Bowery bums... there's like a whole spectrum of homeless people and the whole walkway seems to almost be like a weird "trade show" that showcases all the different ways people can beg for money on the streets. I look around and notice that all the people laying on the wall are beggars too. This must have happened gradually while I had my eyes closed and was listening to music. I just lay there amongst al the homeless. Pretty soon more and more normal people start walking by and looking at all the homeless people and giving them money if they think the presentation they give is good enough. It really is like a trade show... or a freak show or a parade of begging or something... weird. Pretty soon this pudgy woman with short poofy hair (that white middle American 'do' that a lot of middle aged suburban moms have) comes over to me and starts looking me up and down. I open my eyes and click off my CD player. She has tight acid washed jeans on with weird pleats, a fanny pack, big glasses and maybe a backpack too. She is like "Hey come over here and look at this guy!" to whoever she is with. She is holding her face like five inches from my body and scanning it up and down going "Mmmm... mmmhmmm... okay... mmmhmmm..." then she keeps looking at my face and then looking all around me. Finally she looks at me and says "Okay there is no reason to give you money... you aren't homeless!" and then she walks away with her friend... I think to look at the homeless person next to me. I shut my eyes and continue listening to music. Pretty soon I decide to collect my things and leave.
    As I get up to go... I see the poofy haired woman who was just looking at me walking over to me with some kind of security woman. The security person looks like a traffic ticket writer. The poofy haired woman says "There! There he is! The guy running the scam!" and the ticket writer (who seems to be under the woman's control) has her ticket pad out and is writing in it and says "Um... okay... sir... um, okay... you are being given a ticket for running a scam to collect money and exploiting the true needs of others... um, yes... uh-huh." and she keeps looking at the poofy hair woman for approval as she is talking. It's weird... you can tell the security woman is not confident of what she is doing... but is being egged on by the poofy haired woman. The poofy haired woman looks at me and says "That's right! Now you have a court date and you have to show up! I'll be there! What's your name?" and she puts her hand out to shake mine like she wants to meet me. I just look at both of them and am like "Huh? I'm not homeless... and I don't want to meet you whoever you are." and I start to walk away. The poofy haired woman then says really cockily and evil-y... "Oh you have to meet me now! I went through the proper channels and I reported you to security and you must show up for your court date! I suggest you give me your phone number!" I just ignore her and walk away. The security woman (being pushed by the poofy haired woman) follows me and puts the ticket in my coat pocket. She says "Your court date is in two weeks and you must show up here to represent yourself!" and the poofy haired woman yells at me "The choice was yours to be nice to me! See you in court! I don't get mad I get even!" as I walk away.
    Soon I am walking through the library to go out the front exit. I somehow know that I indeed have to show up to the court date to defend myself against the bizarre charges. I'm totally pissed about it. Suddenly I pass the poofy haired woman and a group of her friends that are all talking amongst themselves. They all look similar. The poofy haired woman is telling them about taking me to court. Suddenly she sees me and says to the "Shhh! Shhhh! There he is don'tlook-don'tlook... don'tturnaround... lookatme lookatme!" and then she starts fake talking to all of them like she had been talking about something else the whole time. I just walk past them.

9/13/02:

    I'm in some strange neighborhood that seems to be a hybrid of other places I have lived. I am staying in a building that has apartments on each level (each level is it's own apartment). I live there with someone who is always changing. Sometimes it's Guillaume, sometimes it's Gregory, sometimes it's someone who I don't know but that has the "feel" of an old childhood friend - not one in particular just the feel of being one. Across the street from our building is a house that looks a lot like a house I grew up in as a small child in Plano, Texas... the neighborhood even looks like that neighborhood - almost exactly. Except the building I live in is on the lot where my old house was, and the house that is identical is across the street from where it should be. The neighborhood is beautiful... green grass... white concrete... flat suburban homes... very few trees... just like I remember.
    The house across the street keeps changing form... sometimes it seems to have giant glass walls in the front so you can see inside. I seem to be "in charge" of the house... like I am watching it for people while they are on vacation. I am always walking over there and getting mail for them and stuff. I get the impression that the "people" that live over there are my parents.
    Back in my apartment... I notice that at one point the interior of my apartment looks identical to a different house I grew up in as a teenager in Plano, Texas. I am in the house and am on the phone with a massage client. He lives just across the street and is going to come over for a massage session. He comes over and is acting very odd. My roommate and I actually just kind of hang out in the living room (of our apartment which looks like the old house) and talk. He's acting very strange. Then he leaves without even getting a massage. My roommate is like "That guy was really odd! What a freak!" Then the guy calls me back on my phone and says "OK I owe you $50." even though he would owe me $100, and even though he never got a massage... weird. I say something like "Uh... okay you don't need to worry about paying me... you just hung out." He just hangs up and I get a really creeped out feeling from him. I tell my roommate that I'm afraid he a serial killer and he's going to come over here and kill us both at some later date.
    Then I seem to be going for a walk with my roommate. We run across some Mexican guy in a beat up car. The Mexican guy tells us "Did you guys hear about the earthquake in Mexico? It just happened... 800 people were killed!" I think he might have said "earthquake" but he might also have said fire or explosion or building collapse or train wreck or terrorist bomb or something... whatever it was it was a disaster. We both are like "No... we didn't" and then we kind of "see" this montage of all the things happening in Mexico right now surrounding the disaster - in particular a pretty girl looking at a wrought iron gate and crying.
    Then we are suddenly on a subway system. Apparently the subway system is right below the hybrid neighborhood I live in. It looks like the subway system in Paris. My roommate and I are on it and trying to get home... suddenly my roommate is gone and I am alone on it. The train is so crowded that people are literally spilling out of the train and into the tunnel... everything is almost jammed together like a train disaster... the people are so crowded and pushed up in the tunnel that the trains can't even move. The conductor is like "Clear the way! Clear the way!" and the train keeps trying to push it's way though the tunnel crowded with people... crawling a long... I think it even slowly runs over some people on the track. It's insane. No one seems to complain... it's like this is normal.
    I finally get out of the tunnel and walk out of the subway entrance... which is right by my building in the old hybrid neighborhood. I enter the building and walk up to my apartment. On the way I see the entrance to the apartment below ours... for some reason I know that this girl I used to know... Cary, lives there... but is not at home. I get to my apartment and walk in. I see that my roommate has already been there and is playing a joke on me. He has two friends with them that have arranged their heads and bodies to look like they have been decapitated... like with the couch pillows and stuff. My roommate is sitting askew in one of the chairs and pretending that he is dead. They even used some fake blood. One of the friend's heads is in my roommate's hands. It's supposed to look like someone killed them all... alluding to my fear earlier about the serial killer. They all get up and laugh.
    Then I go outside to go take care of the house across the street. It's night time and I see in the house that the TV is on, and has static on the screen... there is also a post-it note stuck on the front of the screen. The whole thing seems creepy so I just put the mail on the table and get out of there... as I do... I see out of the large glass windows that out on the street, under the street light... is a VW Bug parked in front of my building... inside the car is the creepy massage client. He is just driving off, and as he does he is looking up at the building. Very creepy.
    I run across the street and into the building after the car gets away. I tell my roommate "He was just here! Oh my God what a weird coincidence!" We decide to go "hide" in the bedroom... which is in the back of the apartment. We are back there and suddenly it's daytime outside again. we are sitting indian style on the floor and smoking cigarettes. I am telling my roommate about how great Texas is... which is where we definitely seem to be. I can see out a large window in the bedroom the vast, sunny, blue skied Texas landscape. I can't believe how far you can see into the sunny horizon.

9/14/02:

   There was something about these fantastic women inside some giant grocery store... but that's all the details I can remember.

9/15/02:

No dreams.

9/16/02:

No dreams.

9/17/02:

    There was something about this able that had chairs around it and there was a watermelon on the table and these men were sitting around it - or maybe there was a watermelon at each chair, sitting in it like a person. There was a watermelon also on the table. I got the impression that the watermelon was cut open - like a circular cut - and the men or other watermelons were "operating" on it like surgery. Also the table arrangement was at the end of this big long extension that was made of concrete... like out in the open air. It looked like a table shouldn't be there. It looked like maybe the rounded off part of the end of the foot of a giant sculpture. Like the toe of the Statue of Liberty (although it wasn't because this was made of concrete). The men or watermelons are just out there... operating on a watermelon on a rickety table, where they shouldn't be, in the high winds.

9/18/02:

    I'm once again in some bizarre, unknown, modern/futuristic-looking city that is unfamiliar. There were a lot of events that happened in the dream... but only seem to remember one scenario.
    I am at what seems to be the family house of a young childhood friend, Tim. The time is now, everyone is grown up... but they all still live in this house for some reason. The house is very modern... like a "pod" house... it has an organic shape and very sci-fi looking furniture. I seem to be alone there with Tim's sister Tammy. Tim is not there. We seem to be waiting for their mother to arrive home from work. We are very bored, and seem to not be able to leave (or at least I don't) until she arrives home. The living room has all of these strange red carpet arrangements... like little floor parts that have red carpet on them... with little steps or tiny split level areas. They are these weird little areas on the floor that almost seem like empty fountains. Also, each red carpet area seems to have it's own little vacuum thing that is attached to each area - that you can kind of pull out of the floor and vacuum the red carpet. As Tammy is sitting on a stool next to a kitchen counter and talking on the telephone... I take one of the little vacuums out and start vacuuming the red rug. It seems like one of those cheap polyester bathroom throw rugs... and there are little pieces of cracker crumbs on it I am vacuuming up. As I vacuum it, I imagine Tim's mom walking in the front door holding brown paper grocery bags.

9/19/02:

    There was this weird thing where this ghost or demon who looked just like Christopher Walken (or was played by him) kept coming down from the sky and trying to "get" me. I had the impression that the entity was trying to capture my soul and send it down to Hell or some horrible fate. I think I was in some modern-looking suburb of France... lots of new grocery stores and malls and stuff like that. And wherever I went... the entity would fly down from the sky... land on the ground... and start coming after me. I got the impression that if Christopher Walken touched me I would be "zapped" to the bad place... like a video game. It was very scary, actually like a nightmare, but also it had this "movie" feel to it... like the whole thing was a TV show or something. I sometimes got the impression that I was watching The X Files or something. I remember ay one point I was driving across some immense wheat field... and as I did I was looking sideways out my window and I saw the lower half of an old car appear at the "top" of the sky (like my field of vision was actually a screen) and then start to lower itself along side me (far away) and also move in the direction of my car, parallel and at the same speed. It was the Christopher Walken evil entity coming for me... again!
    Another time I was in what might have been in a university building in France (hardwood floors, big white walls and grand staircases and big windows looking out onto a fantastic courtyard with the sun shining on everything) and suddenly I saw the Christopher Walken entity come at me from down the end of a long hallway... and just as he was getting near me some really mousy looking girl with glasses and her hair in a bun and a black miniskirt and colorful sweater and clunky black pumps started to follow the Christopher Walken entity and say "Oh my God! Are you Christopher Walken!? Oh my God! Oh my God! Can I have your autograph?" and stuff like that and the Christopher Walken entity was trying to chase me but this girl kept distracting him and annoying him... eventually it was because of her that I was able to slip out a door and get away.
    Another time I was at a mall (do they have malls in France?) and of course the Christopher Walken entity found me and started to chase after me to try and touch me and, out of a rack of books at a bookstore that SAME woman from before popped out and instantly started harassing Christopher and bugging him for an autograph... except this time she had another woman with her who was doing the same thing (who was also dressed in the same kind of clunky nerdy prostitute/librarian 80's clothes). Again... because of them delaying Christopher, I was able to escape.
    Then the last time... I was in some theater film room... like a big editing room where they edit film and sound and stuff. It was late at night (all the other scenarios happened in the daytime) and the light from the street outside (one level down) was casting all kinds of colored lights into the room through it's giant frosted glass windows. I was walking from room to room and ...suddenly... there is the Christopher Walken entity. He gives chase and I start to run for my life. And then out of nowhere the two fan girls pop out and grab Christopher and are like "Christopher Walken!!! Eeeeee! We Looooove you!!!" and they all grab him (this time there is a third girl). They all tackle him to the ground and he falls down and ...as I look at the scenario I see that in the area with him falling to the ground and the girls tackling him - has changed back into the university building from the other day for some reason... with the sun shining in on the hardwood floors from the windows. I also see that the girls have spread a thick puddle of milk onto the floor and they are rubbing the Christopher Walken entity into it. He is twitching around and trying to break free. The girls have lost their star-struck, fan girl personas and now seem very concentrated on pushing down the Christopher Walken entity entity into the milk. I realize then that the girls were just acting like clumsy, star struck fans the whole time... and that they are not human. They are angels... or entities of goodness. They are fighting for me and trying their best to thwart the Christopher Walken entity every time he tries to get me. As I look down at the scene... the main girl looks up at me as she is holding Christopher down into the milk and whispers "Run!" to me. She seems totally smart and wise at this point... not like the nerd she appeared to be. I run away quickly and out into the street. I somehow know that the evil Christopher Walken entity will be trying to hunt me down every chance he gets... and that the nerdy 80's girls who are really angels will be fighting for me at every turn. This makes me feel wary but re-assured... and I realize that life is nothing but a constant struggle and that there are always evil people in the world and you just have to do your best to work around them or avoid their paths.

9/20/02:

No dreams.

9/21/02:

No dreams again.

9/22/02:

No dreams again...

9/23/02:

    There was some weird scenario where I was outside in some giant field. It had rolling hills... like a valley (there were forest trees all in the far distant parameter). The grass in the field was dead - like it was winter time - but it was sunny and warm. I was with a few people. There was some giant gray concrete entrance to some huge underground complex that was level with the ground (you wouldn't be able to see it from a distance on the horizon). It was like a big drop in the ground... surrounded by gray concrete walls... and the floor of it was grass as well - it was almost like a "pit". The walls had windows and entrances to the complex. I got the impression that the opening to the complex could open and close automatically - like a giant motorized trap door. There was some scenario where there was an animal... a vicious killer animal (what it actually was I don't know) that was held by a chain in the center of the "pit". I was watching some of the people around me throw huge chunks of meat into the pit... and the killer animal would devour it. I got the impression that the animal was very dangerous and evil and I shouldn't go near it.
    Then I was deep inside the complex. It was nighttime (somehow I knew this) later the same day and I was in a deep, underground bedroom (no windows). I was on the bed and there was a TV on. I was with this guy who was sometimes the actor Max Parrish (from the film 'Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me') and sometimes he was my old friend from NYC/guy I used to date Matt. We were making out and watching TV. We were having a great time and really seemed to be in love.

9/24/02:

    I'm in some really nice art gallery. The gallery is closed and it is night time. I am in some inner-office of the gallery that has glass walls, gray industrial carpet and a conference table. You can see the white walls of the outer gallery outside the walls. I am sitting at the conference table with some girl with long, straight hair that I don't know. We are both fighting over this book of slides. The book also has lists of things bound in the pages with the slides. We are fighting over the book (like pulling it back and forth) and fighting over choosing things listed in the book. David Cunningham of The Flying Lizards is observing us do this.

9/25/02:

    I remember something very, very vaguely about being in the Michelangelo Antonioni film "Blow Up" - I was in the David Hemmings character's apartment with him and also with Venessa Redgrave. They were their actual characters in the film, not the actors.. Britney Spears was also there as well as Kim Gordon. We were all arguing over this bound folder of slides. Out of the corner of my eye I kept catching that antique wooden rudder that bought in the film. It was hard to tell what time period it was. The apartment was very beautiful. I think it was overcast outside. That's all I remember.

9/26/02:

Too busy to record dream.

9/27/02:

Too busy to record dream.

9/28/02:

This dream has a false wake up, or a wake up that was un-noticed until a few moments later:
    I seemed to live in this weird neighborhood where all the houses were these little miniaturized white plastic versions of famous Frank Lloyd Wright homes. On the outside the houses looked like cheap-o plastic models of these houses... but when you got inside they were kind of nice... (with brightly colored cushions everywhere) except everything was still made of plastic. In the neighborhood it was always night time outside, and stormy, like thunder and lightening and rain. I am in my house with some people and one of them is Ed Begley Jr. We are all in the living room and we are looking at these two poems that I wrote and that were published somewhere. The two poems were each printed on a separate white bathroom tile... about 5" by 5". The text is helvetica bold and black and then every other line is bright red. Black and red black and red... for some reason the two poems were published this way and sold in book stores. Everyone is looking at them and reading them and asking me questions about them. For some reason I think my mom, or the thought of her, entered the dream somehow at this point. I am looking down at one of the tile poems with everyone (we are gathered together in a tight circle) and everyone has their hand on it (the tile with my poem printed on it) and we are all pushing it down, face up, onto this cushy piece of white ottoman furniture and reading it aloud together... louder and louder. The thunder and lightening is raging outside. Ed is standing over everyone watching. As we read the poem I realize it is about the vicious rape of a woman... with rhymes and everything. It is supposed to be outrageously funny and "horrible" in a shocking way that is supposed to make you laugh. The poem really bothers me and I can't believe I wrote it. After we have all finished reading it aloud everyone is like "That's a crazy poem Mark. Did you sell a lot of them?" and "Wow that was cool!" and stuff like that. I am standing there kind of horrified and I am thinking that the world is "evil". I go to the bathroom in the house and start to pee in the toilet. I am alone, it is kind of dark in there, and am thinking about the poem and how awful it is and how could I have written it. I start to think that I watch too many police reality shows on television and that this is what probably gives me such a violent vision for my poetry.
    Suddenly I realize that I am no longer dreaming and am really standing in my real bathroom and peeing in the toilet. I kind of "feel" that Ed and the other characters from my dream are back in my bedroom - but they aren't real. No body's there. The point that I woke up from the dream is unclear.

9/29/02:

No dreams.

9/30/02:

    I was living in all kinds of different environments where different scenarios happened in each one. Some seemed to be places I recognized - but were slightly different - and some were unfamiliar. There was one scenario where I was in the apartment building I live in now, and I had a friend who looked like David Duchovny (or was him). My friend lived on one of the lower floors. We have just entered the building and he stop off at his apartment and I go up to mine. I think there was snow on the ground outside.. or salt or something, because we are both wearing clunky boots with white stuff on them. I get up to my apartment and decide to do some laundry. I go out into the hall and I suddenly am carrying my friend's boots... which I seem to have with me for some reason. I go downstairs to his apartment and knock on his door. In the hall there are all these residents of the building doing strange things... like setting up clotheslines and draping big red towels over them and making forts out of them... I see a man in pink shorts painting the walls with a roller. With all the commotion in the hall it's hard to go down to my friend's apartment (I want to give him his boots) - it's like an obstacle course. I also notice that the hall seems different - in that instead of an old tenement building it now seems to have wood panel walls, a wooden staircase with a railing, maroon industrial carpet, nice wood doors - I get the impression I am in an old victorian style home (almost like the kind you see made into fraternity and sorority houses on college campus - which this is starting to feel like.
    I finally reach my friend's door and his front door is kind of hidden with all these obstacles that the weird neighbors have left in the way from doing so many weird things. There is a clothesline strung in front of the door with a red towel draped over it, among other things. I place his salt/snow covered work boots in front of his door (by reaching over the towel) and knock... then run away. He opens the door and I jump back in front of his door and yell "Surprise!" He invites me in.
    The some time seems to have passed. I am standing in the middle of his apartment in my underwear and am rubbing my eyes. I seem to have woken up from a nap. There are all these female scientists in white lab coat carrying clip boards and observing me. They all have beautiful hair up in buns and are wearing make up and glasses and seem to be beautiful and voluptuous under all their scientist garb. They look like characters in an old 1960's Technicolor Jerry Lewis movie. Then me and my friend decide to go outside the building.
    We go outside and it looks nothing like the front of my building in NYC. Or even NYC at all. The front of the building is suddenly this one story, wood panel, ranch style house in a big yard in a vast southern suburban setting. The house looks old but is well kept up. The sun is out and shining on the bright green grass in the yard. It's beautiful.
    Then it seems to be night time and we are back in the house... except now it's not the apartment building in NYC at all... it the inside of the house (which matches the front - what you would expect it to look like). We are in the living room watching TV and some other people are there. The furniture in the place looks old, antique-y... there is one of those old "ring rugs" on the hard wood floor. Suddenly I tell everyone that I need to go "Do something." I get up and go to one of the front rooms of the house that has a big window that faces the front yard. I take off all my clothes and sit down nude on this wicker seat, high-back colonial style chair that is facing the window (but against the back wall opposite the big window. I can see the neighborhood outside - and the light is on so I'm sure people outside can see me sitting here nude. My hands are over my crotch. To my left is a door leading back to the TV room, with a sheet hung over it. I can hear them all watching TV. I can't believe I'm doing this. Suddenly my old childhood friend Tim walks through the front door and through the room I'm in to go to the TV room to watch TV. He just walks past me and is like "Hi Mark!" He seems to notice that I'm nude and you can tell from the look on his face that he really wonders what I'm doing but just doesn't say anything. I don't know why I'm doing this. I continue sitting nude in that chair there while everyone watches TV in the room behind me.
    Then suddenly it is the next morning. I am in the front lawn of the house. I am laying on the grass and the sun is shining - it's a beautiful day. I have tow record album covers in my hand - both by the old new wave band Martha and the Muffins. One seems to be an album and another seems to be a 12" single from that same album. The covers are black and have a photo in the center of the front. I look closely and see that the photo is of the house I am in front of... the house I have been in. I look at the back of the covers and see different photos of the house. For some reason at this point I am unable to look directly at the house (even though it is right in front of me - I am laying on the grass right in front of it) and am only able to "observe" the house by looking at the photographs on the album covers... weird. It's like I can only experience the reality around me through second-hand photos on album cover designs.
    Then there is this "flash" where I seem to be very temporarily on a very high building in what looks like a Japanese city - like Tokyo or something. It is night and I am looking at cars zoom by on this raised highway.
    Then I am suddenly back in the yard looking at the album covers and only able to see what's in front of me through the photos on the covers. I get the sense that the "flash" thing was a glimpse into the far future in my life. I start looking closer at one of the covers and see the song title is something like "Hub Center" or "Hub Reflect" or something like that. I see then that the photo of the house on that cover is actually a photo of a car wheel's hub cap that is parked in front of the house (that I know is behind me at the curb) and you can see the distorted image of the house in it.

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