By proving to me that you don't exist!!!*
One recent Fall evening,
I was strolling through Astor Place Square here in the great city of New
York, when one of these FREE mini transistor radios was handed to me (and
anyone else standing nearby) by a radiant, smiling girl with a big duffle
bag and a jacket with the call letters WBBR on it. I snatched one of the
freebies up (anything free is for me!), and upon closer inspection I learned
that the radio could only be tuned into one AM station: WBBR 1130AM. Why
a radio that tunes into only one station you ask? A nifty promotional device
for Bloomberg.com and it's new
radio station!? No!!! WBBR 1130AM is actually a front for an evil brainwashing
cult that plans to assassinate the Female Overlord of 2011 and bring upon
the Earth's Hospital Computer God Containment Control Centers Police Hate
Frankenstein Control Conspiracy Apocalypse, when our alien ancestors will
rain down the rays of purification from the heavens, my traitors will be
revealed, and the Earth's rivers will flow with their blood!!!
Did
you know I have ants living under my tongue?! That girl with
the duffle bag didn't fool me!!! And she won't fool you either!!! Win this
radio!!! Stop the Frankenstein Monster Secret Torture Cloning Van Brainwave
Control Centers from getting to close to your synapses - in style!!!
"I am the angel of mercy...the time
of purification is at hand! La..la...la!"
headphones not included
Fill your head with subliminal commands and wayward voices via WBBR 1130AM chatter and lite muzak! Listen to the dulcet sounds of news, weather and stock reports while secretly washing your brain of the Perverted Technology Android Human-Hating Frankenstein Monster Homosexual Television Robot Army - subliminally!!! It's not like you have a choice!!! Sock puppets live in my kitchen sink - I can see them in the drain!!! They are not nice!!!
All YOU need to do to win this nifty prize is to prove to me that you don't exist!!!
Yep...it's that easy!!! Write a no-word essay in zero words or less and don't mail it to me. The person who proves to be the most non-existent will WIN THE RADIO!!! If you're Dan Rather don't bother entering!!! I am onto you!!! Just click here to email Mark your submission! Entries will be judged by a panel of judges inside my head based upon your Computer God brain on the moon which records progress of your systematic butchery!!! Start the subliminal messages of salvation streaming into your head (via WBBR 1130AM) today - you can't afford not to!!! The people who live across from me are secretly videotaping me when I use the bathroom!!! I am onto all of them!!!
Comes in handsome cardboard carrying
case AND
includes instructions for survival
during the second Hospital Computer God
Containment Police Hate Frankenstein
Control Conspiracy Apocalypse!!!
When the Earth switches over to a one-world currency - WATCH OUT!!!
NOW
WE HAVE A WINNER!!!
By
proving unequivocally that they do not exist, the winner of the mind altering
radio
from
MarkAllenCam.com
is...(click here)
* Rules and Regulations: Contest void in California, Hawaii, Pluto, Nevada and Kansas. Employees of MarkAllenCam.com and their families may not enter. Insight to the Worldwide Computer God stratified closed society, perfected by hospital birth making possible lifelong Frankenstein controls and lifelong hampering human defects containment policy. Hospital birth lifelong gifts example, deformed, crippled, retarded, pox, hives, warts, moles, blindness, deafness, poor vision, etc. Kosher bosher containment policy work good doctors secret health example cataract, rheumatism, weak heart, damaged vision, epilepsy, fainting spells, paralysis, loss of memory, trembling, gout, diabetes, many diseases. YOU WON'T GET ME!!! I'M ONTO YOU!!! Back to MarkAllenCam.com.