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You've already done the SouthWest (eeks in winter no less)...my homeland (NM). If you make it out that way again...head to Boulder, CO. Yoicks...great place...next to the Rockies and well the Boulder boys are simply the best. There's such an array of stuff to do and it really is beautiful there. Take a hike in the foothills and scale up to where the FlatIrons are and you get to see a panarama like you've never seen. Or take a carride on the Peak to Peak highway..(or bike it..yoicks). Or just tool it about Boulder itself and have boys at your beck and call (you're pretty enough to have them come to you).
When I took a year off from my non-studies at Cornell I decided to head west and scope out SF as a place to live the rest of my daze...stopped in Boulder to visit the homosibling and well...damn...I never left. Well, not for a year and I had to get my lazy ass back to school. I almost didn't leave Boulder.
Thank god I did cuz now I'm here in my home: NYC.
So, that's my wimpy suggestion. Check out Boulder in your croxx-country adventures.
Chippy aka: r@!
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Before you take off on your month-long trip to nowhere, you must must MUST check out the "NGC6093" exhibit at the Ace Gallery on Hudson Street in SoHo.
I could try to describe it to you, but it is perfectly impossible to describe, so I won't. You just have to experience it for yourself. I have never seen anything so fucking COOL and MINDBLOWING in a gallery before. Not sure how much longer it is going to be up, so if you haven't seen it yet, be sure to go before you leave.
Rene
*Note to Rene: Thanks and you are so right! Been there with Gregory
and seen it - it's wow! wow! wow! See a pic of me at it here.
- Mark
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hey bud;
looking forward to your roadtrip page. i will be leaving on my
roadtrip sept 4th. i'm heading to pittsburgh to see warhol and a
couple other sights. i'm then heading south to dayton to see chihuly.
continuing on to new orleans then over to houston. from there i have
no plans, depends on time. i may head west to the 4 corners
region or just head north to home. not knowing your route i really
can't give you any ideas of thing to see. although i'm sure you have
done your research and know most of the tourist trap places anyway.
if you come through wisconsin you're welcome at my house, i will
leave the key under the mat. it seems that we may both be
searching for the same things on our journeys, i hope we find
them. so have a great trip my friend and wave to me if we pass.
god speed and love;
luca
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Go to:
Tallahassee. FL
Dubuque, IA
Altamont, NY (beautiful)
Provo, UT (scaaaaaaaary! but the cutest most repressed Mormon boys ever.)
Richmond, VA (for no reason. will be visiting friends there with a pool and a margharita mixer... things I don't have here in NYC - Labor Day Weekend.)
toodles.
R.
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Hi Mark:
Nowhere near where you are not planning to go.........consider.......
Visit us in London Ontario Canada.
Can't think of any reason other than it would just be a neat thing to do. (for us that is )
Two hours north of Detroit, two hours south of Toronto.... What more could one ask for.
Then you could appear on our Speakers Corner..... Hmmmm what a thought!
You would be MOST welcome and guaranteed to have a passable time..........
Paul
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Where are you planning on road tripping to? Have you ever been to Salomn, MA (the witch burning place); the people are, well they're interesting becasue they've no history to speak of other than the whole witch thing and they just milk it for all its worth; its really funny (strange, interesting funny; not funny ha ha)...
David
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Hello Mark,
A lot of people from the Austin area don't realize what a cool cavern system is available to them only a short drive from Austin. The place is Inner Space Caverns. They are located off I-35 going toward Georgetown. I can't remember the exit but its between Round Rock and Georgetown on the left as you are going north. It's a hoot, if you have a honey with you. They turn out all the lights and it is total darkness for several minutes.
John
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Mark-
In keeping with your september roadtrip and the theme "Farthest points in the USA"... here's some ideas:
You have to get to Key West, Florida.
There is a huge concrete, very phallic marker that 'marks' the furthest point south in the continental US. - it's interesting and if you've never been to Key West- here's your chance. Interesting photo-op (Side trip to Miami/Ft. Lauderdale)
Florida also has St. Augustine, the longest continuously inhabited city in the USA (1565)
The geographic center of the contiguous (lower) 48 states is about four miles west of Lebanon, Kansas, at 98°35' West 39°50' North. Way too boring, unless you happen to be passing thru anyhow The furthest North is in Alaska (but I don't suggest you try driving there) Alaska also has the furthest west/east: (The Allutian islands) and the higest point in all the US (Denali- It's peak is 20,320 feet *McKinley) For the rest of the lower 48 states... the furthest east point is in Maine, the furthest north is in Minnesota, west is Washington State. The deepest lake in the U.S. is Oregon's Crater Lake. Crater Lake lies within the collapsed crater of an ancient volcano named Mount Mazama and is 1,932 feet deep (589 meters). As far as the highest and the lowest points: *visit both in just one afternoon!* In the contiguous (lower) 48 states, the highest point is California's Mt. Whitney, at 14,495 feet (4418 km). Interestingly enough, Mt. Whitney is less than 100 miles (161 km) from Death Valley, the lowest point in North America.
The border between the US at San Diego and Tijuana is pretty 'interesting' and colorful.
With all that in mind... you could hit the border, the highest, the lowest, the hottest (also death valley) all in one long day. You'd also be able to hit San Diego, LA and Las Vegas on that trip.
Most beautiful overall? Northern California (Yosemite, Lake Tahoe, North coast, Monterey, Big Sur, etc.)
The other interesting boarder (with Canada) would be between Seattle and Vancouver, where there is a really great park called "friendship park" that comprises the crossing. Good photos there too... (side trips to Seattle/Vancouver)
Humm.... oh- of course, there's our nation's capital, Washington, DC.
Whew... now that's what I call a 'fuckin off at work' break!
If you need a place to get onto the internet with highspeed (do you have an ethernet adapter?) while you're out in the western US, let me know. I run 17 Internet Data Centers- you can't get better speed than that.
Also- if you want/need contacts in most of these places or more information, let me know. Um... other than Kansas. I can't help you on that one, but maybe you know Dorothy? LOL
Walter
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I got a interesting place for ya to go for Road Trip.. LOL
Corning NY HE HE HE
How are ya?
Lookin sexy as ever! :)
Jeff (www.TruckerJeff.com)
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Mark,
If you find yourself in Mississippi -- and, who knows, you might --
discover Natchez and Vicksburg. The rest of the state you can
pretty much ignore. I
should know.
Then head on down to New Orleans. If you've never been there, well...avoid downtown and spend your hours in the French Quarter, then catch a streetcar to the Garden District.
As you're driving through southeast Texas, see the little, forgotten dusty towns of MY youth: Cuero, Goliad, Seguin, George West..and the 22 others I lived in before the age of 12.
If you reach Arizona, go straight to Sedona...something IS going on there.
And if you make it to the San Francisco Bay Area, drive up to Pt. Reyes, find the ranger station, grab a map, hike the low trail that winds five miles to the beach, take a different route back...take water and snacks. Look for unicorns.
Before you cross the Golden Gate Bridge headed back into the city, detour up to the Marin Headlands for the view...park...and breathe.
And, OF COURSE, if you make it to my neighborhood -- near Mission Dolores (Kim Novak wandered through its cemetery as Jimmy Stewart watched) -- let me know and I'll take you to lunch.
Most of all, drive safely and take care. I can't wait to read about and see the photos of your aimless, but no doubt, ultimately meaningful, trek. It will, I am confident, be like no other.
Bryan SF
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Go to Nashville! I'm sure you could find some interesting things to document -- from girls in mullets to Wynonna!... :)
Ciao,
Lance
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Go north to Montreal and visit the Museum of Fine Arts. The Picasso erotiqus exhibit will be there until Sept 16th.
Finley
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Mark,
hey c'mon over to Columbus
we''ll set you up
Tom
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San Diego... by the beach, I'll cook ya a dinner and we can hang out with our toes in the sand and swap irregular stories... providing my boyfriend allows it.
Later!
Jeff
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Go to New Orleans for Southern Decadence August 31-September 3. Trashy and sleazy I think. This will be my first time. Also, I get a kick out of your website. I though about moving to New York recently but came to my senses.
William
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How's helen, ga... it's not exactly hell, but it's close... http://www.helenga.org/
Scott
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Hello Mark,
I found your site through Sam Stern's jewishcheerleaders.com, which has to be one of the most fascinating sites I've ever had the pleasure of visiting -- your characterization of him is dead on. I've spent several hours at the office not doing work but reading his journal entires and other material. Your questions to him were great and the answers were just as good.
I haven't gone through everything on your site yet (something to look forward to at work tomorrow) but I appreciate the "Trip to the Middle of Nowhere" stories, especially the Las Vegas section. I'm going there for business in a couple weeks and I'm really looking forward to my hotel, New York New York, and the Liberace museum.
When I was in school I drove across country to LA and although I didn't have time to stop at many attractions, I did see the giant meteor crater in Arizona. I don't know if you're going that far west on your trip but if you're in the area it's worth seeing. Also, if you go to or through Oklahoma, watch out for dogs in the road -- I accidentally ran over one and it was very traumatic (perhaps more so for the dog but I had an upset stomach for a while after, so..).
The Louis XIV/Walter Gropius comic strip is cool.
Good luck on your trip and I look forward to your dispatches from the front.
Kind regards,
Mark
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Hey Mark,
I'd give you suggestions but I've no idea which regions you plan to hit. Southwest? New England? Midwest?
Not-so-obvious-but-cool cities include Tucson and St. Louis... both have somewhat bohemian neighbourhoods you'd likely dig (4th Avenue near U of A and "the Loop," respectively). Of course if you're hoping to -avoid- cities (you're supposed to be on vacation from the East Village after all), then head for Utah and Colorado... spectacular scenery, great weather (though Utah may still be a bit hot). Desert and groovy rock formations and canyons in the former, excellent mountaintop views in the latter. Denver is good for a pit stop; cool city and the altitude makes it seem as if you're sniffing glue the whole time. ;)
I'm forgetting why I started this. Nothing really useful to say, but hey it's better than mailing you body parts or ranting against a site you provide for free, right? =)
Take it easy... and have a blast traveling. Heading to Istanbul and the "Turkish Riviera" this upcoming week myself. Woo hoo.
SeltzerDuke
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Mark,
Stand on the spot where the first atomic bomb exploded: http://www.atomicmuseum.com/tour/calendar.cfm
BEST WESTERN INTERCOURSE VILLAGE MOTOR INN & RESTAURANT-
Rts. 340 & 772, 717-768-3637
The Intercourse Merchants Association, P. O. Box 361, Intercourse,
PA 17534
http://www.amishcountryinns.com
The Worlds Tallest Thermometer
Baker (Death Valley), California,
GIANT DINOS OF CABAZON
Claude Bell's dinosaurs are on Interstate 10 at the Cabazon exit, about
18 miles west of Palm Springs, California. They're right on the way between
L.A. and Joshua Tree National Park.
Plastics Hall of Fame, National Plastics Center and Museum, Leominster, MA
Crayola Factory
From NYC -- Follow I-78 West to exit 3, Route 22 West- Phillipsburg.
Follow Route 22 through Phillipsburg. Go across the Toll bridge into
Pennsylvania. Take the second exit marked Easton. Turn left at the traffic
light (Third Street). Continue on Third Street until you reach the downtown
Circle. Proceed halfway around the Circle onto Third Street. Turn right
at the next corner (Pine Street). Parking isavailable, for a fee, at the
City of Easton Parking Garage, on your left. Entrance to Two Rivers Landing
is on the right.
Carhenge
Just north of Alliance Nebraska, along Highway 87, stands a replication
of Stonehenge, England's ancient mystical alignment of stones that chart
the sun and moon phases. Stonehenge stands alone on a plain in England.
Carhenge, created from vintage American made automobiles, towers over the
plains of Nebraska.
World's Largest Catsup Bottle
P.O. Box 1108, Collinsville, Illinois 62234 USA
Have fun, contemplate life
JimLA
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Hey Mark!
I just came back to check out your site and see mention of an upcoming roadtrip! Will you be making it to Dallas? You're more than welcome to make use of our DSL if you'd like, and I'm SURE you could find some interesting things to get into here in the big D! ;-)
Brian
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Well, i would recommend somewhere nearby here, my hometown Cullman,
Alabama, because there are some unusual things there. A large site
laid out on an old rock quarry is the home of the Ave Maria Grotto, which
is hundreds of miniature buildings constructed by a monk in the early 1900s.
These are various famous buildings, shrines and biblical scenes fashioned
out of just about anything he could get his hands on. It's a really
interesting, sometimes strange little place at a benedictine monastery.
On the other hand, I'd only go there if you're in
the area, cause there's not really much else closeby, other than the gothic
old steel mill city of Birmingham, with its highly unusual, but small gay
life.
Two of the places you'd have to go to if you're
in the mid-south at all are Chattanooga Tennesse and New Orleans, LA.
At Chattanooga are really unusual tourist attractions from the early days
of family vacation travel. The best is Rock City, on top of a very high
mountain which is a large park filled with unusual rock formations.
It's really quite fun to go through, with swinging bridges over impossible
heights, narrow "squeezes, a cavern filled with scenes of garden gnome
life. It is calling out for Mark Allen to visit. There are
other things around Chattanooga like the Civil War battlefields and an
underground waterfall, and a cable railway up the side of a mountain.
Actually, I would recommend that you drive down the entire Appalachian
chain on your way down as you'll find a lot more interesting sites than
on the seaboard. New Orleans is interesting cause it's so unusual
(or at least it used to be 50+ years ago). It still has many beautiful
and interesting features, and a very active gay life (much better bathhouses
than Atlanta), with most of it centered around the old "French Quarter."
You can simply park your car somewhere and spend your time walking instead
of always looking for a place to park.
Anyway, I live in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, which is
only home to a few remotely interesting things. But I love your site,
and listen to you and Gregory every Monday, when possible. It makes
my life a little better, and I hope you have a nice trip.
Alan
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If your vacation takes you through Southern Illinois on I-24, there's no better place for a man from NYC to visit than:
METROPOLIS!!! (Metropolis, Ill. that is.)
-The ONLY Metropolis listed by the US Post Office.
-Population: small
-Home of the only 15-foot painted bronze statue of Superman in America.
-Home of the Superman Museum with the largest collection of Superman stuff under one roof.
-Declared the official home of Superman by the Ill State Legislature.
-Home of the Superman celebration held every June for the past 23 years. (Sorry you missed this one.)
I drive past this place on every trip to my family. Never have visited myself, but the sign to see the giant (if you can call 15 ft giant) Superman always intrigues me. I picked up a brochure on a gas stop during my last trip and now I'm even more intrigued. Considering some of the places that you've visited, I suspect this one would be right up your alley. For more information here's their website: http://www.metropolischamber.com/celebrate.htm
Have a good trip.
BobC
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Mark,
If you go near Columbus, Ohio, don't forget to stop off at the Accounting Hall of Fame (http://fisher.osu.edu/acctmis/hof/intro.html) where the world's great accountants are forever immortalized.
A really great town, although I doubt you'd be willing to drive that far, is Portland Oregon. It's a beautiful, relaxed town where the leading industries seem to be selling used books and drinking coffee, and where the people actually appear to be SANE.
Unlike San Francisco (our fair city) the "cool gray city of defeat and despair"; I can't imagine why anyone would want to go here. Well, there is this bridge, and people seem to enjoy leaping from it into the Arms of Eternity--it would be neat to get a shot of one of these attempts ON CAM.
Have fun,
Rich
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Hey There!
Ok, I'm joining the world Wide effort to help Mark Allen find his way through the US.
A few spots I know:
The Triangle area, NC. Nothing to see at all. It's green, but I'm sure there's greener eslewhere, probably in SC's oceanshore.
Florida: Tampa is just another modern city, although it's kinda fun, if you're str8. No particular spot there.
SF: as Bryan said, go for Marin Headlands / Sausalito. Beautiful spots there. Get down to the dark sands beach (Alexander Av. Exit after the bridge, then go up, then down on the ground road on your left). Go also for Presidio park and Baker beach: cute guys, good ocean view, good spot on the bridge. Go for Alamo and Dolores parks too. And visit the awesome houses on Haights.
That's all I can tell on your side of the Atlantic. But how about heading north to Canada?
Did I mention Paris? Oh, ok, in 2002, I know!
Cheers!
Thibs
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Where to go?
Well about the comment "If you find yourself in Mississippi -- and, who knows, you might -- discover Natchez and Vicksburg. The rest of the state you can pretty much ignore. I should know" Why not South MS? Natchez and Vicksburg are a little "Stale" However the Gulf Coast of Mississippi, Has Many Casinos , (I work in one of the finer restaurants), come in and I will hook you up! and Beaches, and we are only 1 hour from the New Orleans French Quarter. Hotel's much cheaper here. Heck ... free at my house.
You can't say you have lived if you have never been to New Orleans, at any time of year. You must let me "enhance" some trip photos while you are away. On the way down you have to go to GRACELAND!! (again , just to be able to say you been there.) And I hear they may be selling it soon! what an opportunity lost!! This is a place where everyone winds up visiting when they never thought they would. I assure you none of my relatives are related. LOL. (Maybe around Natchez or Vicksburg) Be Safe , Dew Dropp Inn!!
KINGMAKFROG
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I told Mark to go to Hell. All the towns with "Hell" in them, that is. Also any site named after the Devil, such as Devil's Tower.
Perhaps this is why he did not include my suggestions.
He's been ignoring me for over a month now, you see. Some suggest he's jealous because I inadvertantly became more popular than he on his board. Oh Tishtosh, like I have a bod like that! Any jealousy on his part might really be due to the fact that I think Bryan is sexier than he is; ooooh, the ultimate insult!
Then of course I said he looked fat, expounded on his real age (tho' I'm not the one who originally blabbed it), made fun of his voice, told him how to run his life ( well, I am right about that part, darlings; age is never kind to pretty boys: just look at what's happened to Martin Sheen since "Apocalypse Now". Ewww!), and called him a nasty, if not inaccurate, name right here on the boards.
Ever since, then he's become Veda to my Mildred Pierce. Vera would be Eve Arden if she'd hang around here more often and, oh, how about Thibs for that nelly playboy and Luca for Jack Carson...but I digress.
You know, I've hardly slept a wink in days, living on my namesake and cups of cuban coffee. And listening to this once-wonderful board deteriorate day by day. I miss Vel and Ford and even Buzzly.
DietDew
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For Gods sake< Mark. Why don't you just just plan your trip around where your public would like you to visit. You could ask for donations to insure your visit. This pretend bullshit you put out about hard luck and sudden disasters is not worthy of you. Be like the Jewish Cheerleader, tell it like it is. You want to go on a "Road Trip" but you can't afford it. You are willing to travel anywhere and visit your fans if they will help you pay for it. It will be covered on your web site so everyone will be able to see the faces behind the names. Not hard, not phoney, just truth and reality.
Klauop
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Hi, Mark !
There is only one place to go: Big Lake Park, in Plano ...
Have sweet dreams !
Joel
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Hey Mark-
...and I was serious about my thinking that this trip is JUST the right thing for you.
I've made a few long trips alone- and it's great 'therapy'. You'll enjoy your time away from everyone (and their shit!) Even though I love NYC, I'm glad to have left some of those people behind for awhile. I'm sure you know how it is when you start realizing how full of **** most people are.
Go Mark GO, Rah, Rah Rah!
Walter
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Oh, geez! Here I thought that this thing would automatically post, and now I see that it ends up being an email to ya. Hmph, whaddya know? Are you editing out parts of the email before ya post'em? 'cause some of them seem kinda harsh on you. I really respect you for the way you handle some of the stuff that comes your way. You are truly remarkable, Markallen! But more importantly, to the words I wanted to show:
I gotta agree with Walter. Reading what he has written, it seems he gives some good advice about where to go and what to see. I especially agree with the last email he posted about escaping N.Y.C. for a while (expand "while" to mean whatever concept of time you need it to be.)
Should you find yourself near Death Valley, coming down highway 138 (aka "blood alley") toward Santa Clarita Valley, be assured I am nearby to lend internet access and shelter. Oh, by the way, could you bring one of those nifty Markallencam.com T-shirts? I could use one! Hey, could I get it autographed too?! Cool! Swell!
Cheers!
Dan-o
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Trucker John! Why not just ride with him for a month? A queer Charles Kuralt thang. You could make some money too, helping him out and giving cut-rate massages to his buddies and who am I kidding?
Good luck, bubu.
You'll need it.
Diet Dew
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If you happen to be near Las Vegas around October 5th you should go to the opening of the two new Guggenheim Museums designed by Rem Koolhaas.
Herbert.
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Mark,
Swing through Columbus, Ohio! It's the most gay-friendly city in Ohio, and has a really large gay population. I think you would like it here!
Tim
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Hi Mark,
Chek out Iceland. I was just there in August. A great place to visit. I snow mobiles up a glacier, hiked, walk behind a waterfall and had a great time.
Check it out. I stayed at the Hotel Luna.
DG
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Visit Alaska
Drive north for the magic.
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hey mark, you are welcome anytime to my home in colorado springs, yes the home of ammendment 2, but we're way past that now. If you can put up with a 104 lb puppy and an 8 lb ms. kitty, you are welcome--no strings attached. you can see the world from the top of pikes peak--where american the beautiful was written, gamlble in cripple creek--an old gold mining town, the air force academy--cadets, cadets, and more cadets, or go to the us olympic center--athletes, need i say more. lots to do and only one hour south of denver for a good night on the town. I'll even treat you to dinner at the broadmoor hotel and resort. have a good trip, enjoy your sight.
chuck
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Mark:
You should go to "chimney rock" in western Nebraska. It sticks up from the prairie like a gigantic phallic symbol.
Happy Looking,
Todd
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Providence, Rhode Island
Bronco
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Hey Mark-
Remember me? Of course not, 'cause we really didn't know each other all that well. But you always said "Hi" and I said "Hi" and you said "Hi" etc. You were especially friendly when you were working the door at one place or another (but maybe that was because you got a cut of the cover.....but probably, as I like to imagine, you're just a pleasant personality). Anyway, I'm sure you'll have a fun trip with profound thoughts wherever you end up going. I like reading your website (although it makes me homesick for NYC sometimes) & can't wait to read the on-the-road editions. If you happen to go through Ft.Lauderdale, I have a guestroom in my cute little house in which you are welcome to rest your road worn head. BTW, I have concluded that FL, FL is more gay than NY, NY.....and I lived in the West Village. Who knew? Don't forget to buckle up for safety!
John
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There is nothing to see in Ohio and constant roadwork so avoid whole state at all costs! Unless you really like rollar coasters then you have to go to Cedar Point in Sandusky Ohio...the best rollar coaster amusement park in the WORLD...no shit. Now You have to do the Grand Canyon and go to the North rim and camground is like 25 bucks a night..if ya can get a spot? If not you still have to take in view from the Grand Canyon Lodge and hike down the Kaibab trail some. If you make it to San Diego you have to go La Jolla...it rocks.
Zillafag
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Have a good and safe trip & make sure you have a jack & jumper cables in the trunk, along with a gallon of water and something to nosh on if you break down in nowhere's-ville. Also practice on butching up your voice so you don't get gang-shagged by coal-miners like Guy Pearce almost did in "Priscilla".
Luv,
Diet Dew
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Mark,
Attached is a pic of your old stomping grounds. On your show tonight, can you talk a little about your future trip?....sent you a jpg. Enjoy! If you plan on going out to the "hood" or Oaklawn to the bars, look me up! I hope you plan on taking LOTS pictures and keeping a diary of your long trip. I really enjoyed your trip with Michael in Las Vegas back in Jan 2000.
Shane
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Yay! You're coming to LA!! I'm glad. I hope I get to see you.
Well, I really don't know you outside of this cyber context, so that
might be wishful thinking. But... ya never
know.
(let me know)
Dan-o
(who writes in too many couplets)
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Been watching your web page for quite some time now. Finally was able to tune in to your Radio Show. Very cute and fun to hear your voice.
You have to stop in Arizona and see the "Red Rocks" of Sedona if you haven't done so yet. Its an amazing place and supposedly the are has great healing qualities and stuff. I did feel that everyone there was friendly and for the most part artistic. Lots of hiking, great sites and wonderful people.
Take care and have a safe journey!!!
Dean
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I think you'll find the experience of visiting Plano, a place you often dream about, pretty strange. When I visited my home town Omaha, which is often in my dreams, after being away a number of years, my brain kept registering it as a dream. It was the weirdest thing I've experienced since my chemical days, like walking into a TV show, or like Keaton into a movie. Very twilight-zony, "an experience outside of time and space."
Rich
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I think you should go to the California Caverns and go spelunking. Take a look at Calavarus Big Tree National (or state-not sure) Park and marvel at the size of these trees.
http://www.caverntours.com/
Enjoy!
Michael
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Hey Mark...
If you like rollercoasters, you really should stop at Cedar Point (www.cedarpoint.com). It 's a fine example of big-scale midwestern affluence, not too far off of Interstate 70/80 in Ohio, IF you're heading that way. They're only open weekends now (until the end of Oct). If you need a tour guide, I'm available... and so completely geeky about amusement crap that I scare myself... at least every 48 hours or so.
Have a good trip.
John
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Hey Mark
The Soundgarden in Seattle is a million times better than the band... lol
- David K. (of the great website Nightcharm,
who wrote to tell me this after I thanked him for the perfect timing of
his small feature
about it on his website, and of whose advice I am going to take and pay
it a visit)
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Oh dear god. I'm hearing one of those hysterical Aquafina commercials that Lisa Kudrow did. If I laugh any harder, I'm probably going to pass out, and we don't want that. Knowing me, I'd drool onto the keyboard and electrocute myself. Not very glamorous way to go. But this email had a point! Yes, a point! my pal Dan-o (who has masterminded an evil plan to make me a another minion for your harem of fans...and is succeding) said you were coming to LA on your road trip. Way cool! I'd wager this town is packed with people you'll meet and just have a blast with. We're freaks like that. Anyways, if you're a fan of roller coasters, don't forget to check out Six Flags Magic Mountain while you're on the road. I've actually got free passes lying around here somewhere (the priveledges of being a well-liked ex-employee) that you are more than welcome to if you'd like them. But seriously, their coasters kick ass. Riddler's Revenge is like the Tenacious D of roller coasters, it'll blow your ass into next week. Is there really any other reason I need to give you to check it out?
Have a safe trip!
-snakey
Dear Snakey,
Dan-o mentioned that roller coaster too. Have you and Dan-o sabotaged the roller coaster and are trying to kill me? Who hired you? I'M ON TO YOU!!!! ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!
No really thanks for getting in touch AND I"M ON TO YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!!!!!!
Thanks for the advice and offer AND I"M ON TO YOU!!!
Later AND I"M ON TO YOU!!!
Mark
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Okay now that *is* kind of wacky. I swear, if HE sabotaged the coaster, I had nothing to do with it! I just like the ride, honest! Besides, I don't even know how to build a pipe bomb. Or the first thing about ignition switches. Or battery-operated digital timing systems with 2nd and 3rd failsafes.
Cheers,
-snakey
Dear Snakey,
I'M ON TO YOU!!!!!! ALL OF YOU!!!!!!
Later!
Mark
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Are Spain in ur Trip? I think that you can come here very easy with a rent-car. :)
Ciao.
Hasta Luego
LAter!
Ed
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Mark,
I dunno who this snakey is, or what he's talking about. But if
I did (ok, maybe I do) he would know better than to put the blame on me
again. My only experience with electricity is long past, and I've
already apologized in person to everyone that lived on my block after their
power was restored.
A word of warning to Snakey: don't make me mention the boxer briefs
or the banana bar. Remember, these are things we promised we would
never speak of!
Cheers!
(and that's MY closing line, SNAKEY)
Dan-o
Dear You Two,
OK you two! STOP bickering...you and BOTH assasinate me withexplosives!!! : )
Later!
Mark
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Hey Mark, sorry that this is pretty last minute-you're probably just getting ready to head out the door.
If you're going to be near DC at all, head east from there to Annapolis (to check out all the cute military boys) and then continue across and camp at Assateague Island. Wild ponies, beautiful sunsets looking back west from the top of the dunes, and miles and miles of sandy beaches. Just watch out for sharks if you go swimming! The National Park campground is pretty primative, but it's a great spot. From there you can head down to the end of the peninnsula and drive across the bay on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel-pretty cool, it feels like you're driving right on the water in some spots.....
Have a great trip!
-mass
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If you havent left yet,
I would suggest that you pass through New Orleans. It's fairly interesting here in the Big Mother Swamp.
And, as I have recently proved that I am real by posing in a NO dining establishment with Alex, it would probably not be dangerous for you.
After all, luca is due for coffee and beignets next week. (all that biz about luca's criminal record and the asylum incarcerations is just a joke, huh?)
Isn't it?
bwahahahahaha!
If you need a local contact, e-mail me.
durlx
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Dear mark allen:
I do not know if you've already left or a planning to go to the scenic pacific northwest but if you are here are my suggestions:
The oasis brothel museum in Wallace Idaho. Wallace just off I-90 in northern idaho. It is across the border from montana (another beautiful state.) If you are driving across I-90 then you should stop and go to the OASIS BROTHEL MUSEUM. The whorehouses were all shut down in the late 80s because of a threatened FBI raid but at the oasis brother museum you can view the innerworkings of a late 80s small town brothel in all its glory. A must see.
Also in northern Idaho (again off I-90) is the SNAKE Pit (AKA eanaville resort.) This is a giant weathered restarant covered in driftwood. The driftwood looks like snakes, hence the name "snake pit". The interior of the restaurant is almost as exciting as the exterior. It is covered in black velvet paintings of 18 wheelers. The wait staff will probably realize you are from out of town and present you with a giant platter of fried potatoes along w/ a "welcome to IDAHO" greeting. To find the enaville resort you turn north at the enaville exit off I-90. The exit is past kellogg, smelterville, and pinehurst. There are signs for the enaville resort.
I bet you didn't know that washington state is home to the northern hemispheres only temperate rain forest!. It is the ho rain forest on the olympic peninsula. Go there if you are in the neighborhood of northern washington state (near seattle). Though I wouldn't recommend camping in a rain forest in september. Another great thing to do in that neck of the woods is the saun juan islands. They are beautiful. you have to put the car on a ferry but it is worthwhile. You may see killer whales!!! and bald eagles the islands are great.
Also, If you are in portland, or. You must go to the "grotto". it is a botanical garden run by christians. You park your car and go into the christian book store and buy a token. You submit you token to an elevator. It takes you up the side of a cliff (breathtaking) and plays pachabel's canon in d while talking to you about jesus. at the top of the cliff you are deposited in front of a meditation center. It is a giant glass and steel structure at the edge of the cliff. Inside, the meditation center is covered in tan leather, with nice couched in the middle. There is also a sculpture of the virgin mary with the baby jesus suspended in a lucite tube. You can "meditate" and look off the edge of the cliff at the scenic portland wilderness. The rest of portland sucks, forget about it. Go to the oregon coast.
Cheers
--Ryan
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Have a good road trip and if you end up in San Francisco check
out Edinburgh Castle, on Geary between Polk and Larkin. It is a
classic Scottish pub, with 22 beers on tap, and a young, mostly straight
M/F and lesbian crowd who are very interesting to mix with. Not as
many gay men but it's SF and no one really cares that much who is doing
what to whom.
There is alternative music that plays in the closed off loft upstairs (usually there is a cover charge but only to get in the upstairs section) and also there is sometimes poetry and other contemporary writers' readings.
best to you on your trip!
Scott
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When Going, Collect phallus shaped objects from all sorts of places and do a fashion show at curbside for the viewing public. Sure to boost your change.
Bishop
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