for October 27th, 2003:
Note: Nannys are indicated with an "N" before the running time. The height, length and width requirements are listed after the running time (i.e.; L&W15sq, H9). Nannys that can adapt themselves to your space are listed as "Adaptable". Those with restricted playing spaces are listed as "Solid". All corresponding Cinema Enhancers are listed in the Key to Cinema Enhancers below.
1. Euclidean 2-Torus
Mall
(2005)
N, 360m, L&W5280, H5280, Solid.
D: Gillian SonderGaard. Also released as MALL TUBE.
Interesting combination of Robert DiVito and a science lecture on theories
of infinite space, this enormous nanny gives participants gliding bicycles
to move around the huge mall, complete with lush park areas. Mall repeats
itself endlessly in the shape of a Euclidean 2-Torus, so in reality there
are only about fifty stores and areas to explore which repeat themselves
in endless tessellations on the inside and outside of the torus. Passageways
allow you to transfer between surfaces. "Stores" give away all kinds of
interesting props; laser guns, instant bridges, giant clear spheres you
can travel in, "invisi-pills", motorized gliders, etc. (pack a lunch though,
because there's no food court.). Recommended.
Enhancer: MOREs, SMTELP
2. Breast Walls
(1998)
N, 120m, L&W50, H9, Adaptable.
D: Katherine Butts.
Environmental nanny in Butts' on-going "genital" series can be looked at
humorously or lasciviously, depending on your mood. Great for breaking
the ice at your next get-together, keeping infants occupied or anything
else you could dream up, people have found a million uses for this relatively
simple but immensely popular nanny. Piece creates "living paper" with row
after row of living female breasts, that cover the walls and ceilings of
your playing space, with infinite variations of size and skin tone. You
can even pick one particular mammary you like and have it repeated all
over walls, or create a "pattern" out of a few favorites. Life-like organs
respond to human touch and have even been known to squirt milk. Funny and
embarrassing as it is interesting and hysterical to fiddle with, this piece
is perfect for parties. It's amazing how fascinated people, male and female
alike, will become with a wall full of human breasts. "Wallpaper" can even
be programmed to cover your floor, but we don't recommend it. We found
the sight of lots of people's hard shoes stomping and squishing a floor
full of female breasts to be disturbing. See also BREAST BALLS, INVERTED
BREAST BALLS, SEA OF BREASTS, PENIS WALLS, PENIS BALLS and INVERTED PENIS
BALLS.
Enhancer: CEAA, SMTELP
3. Reverse Maze,
The
(1998)
N, 240m, L&W100sq, H20, Adaptable.
D: Robert DiVito.
Although adaptable, we recommend using in as large an open playing space
as possible. DiVito's brilliant interactive horror nanny piece is destined
to be a classic. Devoid of any characters or time lines whatsoever, the
entire four hour adventure pits the participants (we don't recommend witnessing
this one alone) against an ever-changing, walk-through, wooden construction
that challenges you to find it's center, then your way back out again.
It's a testament to DiVito's vision that such a static piece can produce
such strong emotions in people. Built of lovely smelling pine, the walls,
floors and ceilings are constantly changing, but never when you're looking.
Sometimes passages become small enough to defy entry, claustrophobically
trapping you until, at the last minute, a previously unseen exit emerges.
Light is provided by bare light bulb fixtures along the way (which sometimes
don't work, or flicker on and off) and occasionally footsteps can be heard
walking or running in far-off sections of the "maze". The psychological
warfare lasts for four hours, or until you hit the stop button. Recommended.
Enhancer: LATD, MAC
4. Furniture Showroom
(2000)
N, 480m, L&W2000, H100, Solid.
D: Robert DiVito.
We always wondered what wild animals considered "camping out" since they
spent their entire lives outdoors. This is probably as close an answer
as we're likely to get. The indoors is inescapable and the word outside
means nothing at all in this endless nanny landscape which is indeed an
endless "furniture showroom" with no salespeople, no entrance and no check-out
desk. Bask amongst the latest Italian living room designs or take a snooze
in a wild variety of children's themed bedroom sets, and everything imaginable
in-between. Although the choice of subject matter in this piece seems odd,
we must admit that the experience of roaming from faux-kitchen to faux-entry
hall to faux-bathroom into infinity was rather enjoyable. This was the
first in DiVito's ever-popular store/museum nanny series. See also BOOK
STORE, MUSIC STORE, ART MUSEUM and THE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY.
Enhancer: MOREs, SMTELP, TMGPA
5. Inverted Space
(1998)
N, 90m, L&W50, H9, Adaptable.
D: Wilheim Rudolph.
Rudolph side-stepped the inevitable back-lash with his follow-up to BLACK
HOLE by creating a serene nanny that doesn't pull any punches, or make
any grand promises. Not really suited for party environments, the piece
inverts the physical properties of the objects in your playing space. Empty
space becomes solid, and solids become empty bubbles that you can roam
around in. Different color (mirror was our favorite), and texture settings
(opaque to transparent and everything in-between) keep things interesting.
Put on some mood music, play this nanny, and cuddle up inside your couch
for a while. See also OBJECT DUPLICATOR, ROOM DUPLICATOR (S/A), INFINITE
ROOM DUPLICATOR (S/A), LAWN DUPLICATOR (S/A), PEOPLE DUPLICATOR, WAIT UNTIL
YOUR PARENTS GET HOME! (S/A) and TESSELLATIONS.
Enhancer: LATD, MAC
6. Music Store
(2000)
N, 480m, L&W10,000, H1000, Solid.
D: Robert DiVito.
Come worship at the alter of DiVito's mammoth nanny. Psychoanalysts could
probably create an entire symposium around trying to figure out why DiVito's
environmental nanny series of endless shopping areas and museums are so
damn appealing to humans. The key to this nanny's universal following is
the fact that it demands many repeat visits once you've been bitten by
the bug and pulled into it's immense alternate universe. The fact that
so many bootlegged books and indexes have been created trying to document
it's contents is a testament to it's significance, or DiVito's marketing
genius (no cameras or recording equipment allowed in the hallowed isles!).
The fact that so many artists have based their entire careers on work merely
hinted at in DiVito's "store" is an amusing side-effect of a work that
has such broad scope. Come peruse, sample, or obsess like a damned maniac
over the endless displays of products documenting a music and sound history
that never was but could have been. Hit up one of the knowledgeable salespeople
(or customers!), even search the in-store database for non-facts and fake
trivia. Updated annually. See also BOOK STORE, ART MUSEUM, THE MUSEUM OF
NATURAL HISTORY and FURNITURE SHOWROOM.
Enhancer: CEAA
7. Nerve Massage
(1998)
N, 240m, L&W10sq, H10, Adaptable.
D: Wilheim Rudolph.
Rudolph's reliable and popular as ever nanny gets in all the nooks and
crannies of your sympathetic and parasympathetic zones to buff away your
worries. Adaptation controls let up to four participants experience. Sit
back while Rudolph's molecular symphonies wiggle your synapses, preganglionic
fibers and outlying ganglia into ineffable heights of unknown. Non-sound
soundtrack adds immeasurably to the experience.
Enhancer: LATD, SMTELP
8. Pseudologia
Fantastica
(1999)
N, 440m, L&W10sq, H10, Adaptable.
D: Johnson Van-Thone.
With the success of his "medical nanny" SYNESTHESIA, Johnson Van-Thone
decided to create a series of similar pieces that allowed the viewer to
experience other post-nano maladies. But since few "conditions" existed
that were translatable into Van-Thone's peculiar brand of ham-fisted, exploitative
nanny format, he had to either search the annuls of medical history for
forgotten curiosa, or else make up some conditions of his own. This is
the first of the batch released in 1999. Based on an early 20th century
psychological term which describes a mental condition in which a person
experiences delight in outwitting authority figures, the experience this
nanny offers is comical at first, then ultimately chilling when you realize
how serious Van-Thone was when creating it. Minimal but detailed nanny
showcases stereotypically inept police and detective figures running around
your space spouting loud, dim-witted decisions and pulling slapstick moves
like bumping into each other, slipping on mis-placed parking tickets and
accidentally handcuffing their wrists to their ankles. Background voices
telling you to kill echo through the room, transparent images of police
brutality and corruption waft through the air, trying to make a delusional
serial killer out of you - it's a gem! The last two hours allow you to
sadistically torture a police lieutenant while his few officers bow down
at your feet and beg you to stop. A fun and entertaining ride into a twisted
and dangerous mind. Approved by the AMB. See also DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR,
OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANT DISORDER, ATTENTION DEFICIT/HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER,
MUNCHAUSEN SYNDROME BY PROXY, MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER, BIPOLAR
DISORDER, and WELTSCHMERZ.
Enhancer: CEAA, SMTELP
9. Solid Cinema
(2002)
N, 180m, L&W5000, H5000, Solid.
D: Gillian SonderGaard.
Interesting, infinite "coming-out" nanny by new director SonderGaard gives
the obsessive film fan a Lewis Carroll ticket to their greatest dream realized.
Experience replicates a modern cinema where viewers can freeze the large
screen at any time and then use hovering chairs to fly into the contents
of the screen (which become a separate 3-dimensional world) and explore.
Want to feel the water splashing around you as you soar down the waterfall
scene in AIR RACERS? Want to examine all the pores on your favorite actress'
nose as you hover around her giant head like a fly during a scene where
the camera is in close-up? Have a favorite house from a film that you've
always wanted to stroll through? Stimulating nanny will make you think
about the cinematography of your favorite films like never before, as the
perspective and proportions created by the camera's proximity to it's subject
creates a whole new school of thought in dimensional science. Some see
this as a flaw but we found it even more fascinating that replicas with
correct dimensions. The real flaw was that pictures can only be explored
in freeze-frame, a problem worked out to confusing effect in SonderGaard's
MOVING PICTURES. Any film, even home pictures, can be brought to the playing
space. Watch what films you choose however, as we found the dust, nicks
and scratches on prints of old pictures acted like giant barriers preventing
us from entering the picture when rendered 3-dimensionally. Recommended.
See also MOVING PICTURES.
Enhancer: MAC, SMTELP
10. Tunnels
(1998)
N, 240m, L&W500sq, H500, Solid.
D: Paul Kelly.
If ever a nanny maker documented a trip into the fourth dimension, or a
drug-induced hallucination, this is probably what it would be like. With
no visible objects or characters whatsoever, the nanotechnology instead
alters small pockets of the air in the space within the piece, altering
your visual and audile perception of the other participants, depending
on where you are standing, and when. A bit hard to describe in words, this
piece is best experienced first-hand. The space pockets are constantly
changing location and multiplying, making your surroundings sometimes multiply
into infinity, sometimes flatten-out into two dimensions, sometimes seeming
to bunch-up into a ball and shoot right through your eye sockets, dragging
your perception with it. And sometimes the audio "hallucinations" can be
relentlessly ear-splitting. Also, if the action becomes too intense for
you, the very nature of the work defies you to be able to find an exit.
Not for the faint-hearted, even the bravest thrill-seekers have been tamed
by Kelly's intricate, mind-bending nano-piece. Bring lots of aspirin and
motion sickness patches. See also TRACERS, TRANSPARENT TRACERS and A ROOM
FULL OF MIRRORS INSIDE A UNIVERSE FULL OF ROOMS (S/A).
Enhancer: IUSET
Key to Cinema Enhancers:CEAA
Character Evolution Advancement Accelerators, also known as "Darwins" or "Darwinnies"
A fun enhancer that gauges the time of a film (or other format) and then greatly accelerates all of it's living character's (plant or animal) evolution throughout the duration of the film. All evolutionary characteristics take place in the enhancer user's mind only. 5,000,000,000 years worth of evolution may occur to a character during the duration of an average length film. Characters may grow huge nostrils, giant eyes or heads, loose all hair, or just grow an extra thumb. All in accordance with general theories of species evolution (Darwinism, etc.) and "survival of the fittest". However, these theories use the facts gathered in the images, sounds and events in the film only and use this information to create the "world" where the characters evolve, using the film's length as it's time-line. These effects can also occur to plant and animal characters or props. The only requirement is that the character or prop appears in more than one scene, it has to appear at least twice in order for there to be a "time gap" for the effects to occur. These changes can occur even between quick edits or cut-aways. Sometimes the enhancer treats moving inanimate objects (i.e.; an object that appears to "eat" a character: say a house, door or car) as living things and can produce evolutionary changes in them. Will completely alter the content of the film or nanny it is experienced on with chaotic, but always entertaining, results.
ENHANCER DOUBLER (PES)*
Enhancer erases perception or memory of any prior enhancers while under the influence.
IUSET (PES)*
Infra/Ultrasound Sensitivity Enhancement Therapy, also known as "Dog Ears"
Enhancer enhances your perception by allowing you to hear frequencies below 20Hz's (low) and above 20,000Hz's (high) or, hear like dogs or other animals. Special films, habits or nannys, etc. are made specifically for this enhancer.
LATD (PES)*
Linear Alternate Time Dividers, also known as "Banana Splits" or "Bananas"
Enhancer slows your perception down to slow motion, yet you are able to comprehend in real time. Even though your speaking seems faster to you in relation to what you are experiencing as a result of the enhancer, and your knowledge of it, your speech and movement would appear normal to those around you that are not on it. It's a hard experience to put into words and, like most enhancers, it is an experience that's logic is best understood while under it's influence.
MAC
Also known as: "Man Created Measurements" or "Slide Rules"
Clever amnesia-based enhancer erases the portion of learned memory that recalls and calculates formal (inches, miles, hours, time, space) and informal measurement systems you have learned but keeps other senses completely intact.
MOREs
The Most Realistic Dream Sequence Ever Filmed, also known as "Double Reels" or "Double E's"
Enhancer supposedly alters your perception to fall within the cinematic rules of dream sequences circa 1950's-60's. Wavy filters, fog, non-sensical "editing", long hallways, flashbacks within flashbacks with lots of floating eyes and midgets thrown in for good measure. Silly.
SMTELP (PES)*
Subconscious Memory Trigger Enhancement Longevity Projection, also known as "Mommies"
Enhancer is a fascinating new enhancer that digs deep into your subconscious and pulls out any person, object or setting that a film may remind you of and alters your perception of the film to correspond with the memory trigger. In other words, say a certain character subconsciously reminds you of your mother. The enhancers would change the film for you so you saw and heard that character as your mother throughout the entire film, or at least the best facsimile that your mind can produce using all it's stored memory. This can work for props and settings, or anything at all in the film (even whole scenes). Say a setting reminds you of a building you were once in, the setting would change to that building for you in the film thanks to the effects of the enhancer. Of course when you change things so drastically in a film or nanny, not all the seems will be perfectly worked out, making the SMTELP experience coherent, yet non-linear in a language that only makes sense to you. Recommended.
TMGPA (PES)*
Traditional Metronomic Graph Perception Alternator
Enhancer Puts everything you experience on a "beat" like music. Everything you see and hear stops and starts like a rhythm. Similar to the way a drum machine or studio mixer will take a music piece played in real time that might be a little off the beat, and move all the sounds to correspond with an exact rhythm. This works well when listening to music, as you can change the beat settings, with other non-rhythm settings as well (swell, crescendo, etc.) but can be a very disorienting (of fun) when used in non-musical experiences. Like shutter or strobe vision, yet you miss nothing because everything you are supposed to see and hear is crammed into the little "flashes". Might work well with "strobe" films.(PES: Perception Enhancement Series, Stern, Inc.)
