Archive for February, 2007

White Flag

Stupefyingly thorough, four-page article listing and describing the careers of every black person ever in punk and “new waveâ€? bands covering 1976 – 1983. If you were into that sort of thing back then, you probably think you were pretty right about the slim percentage, but trust me after reading this you’ll realize you never knew. A fascinating read.

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Loud, Click-y, Fake Typing Done So My Boyfriend Can Conveniently Overhear It Through The Wall In the Next Room and Think I’m Actually Working On My Manuscript When I’m Really Not (see, sometimes we have little ‘wars’ at home about which of us uses his time more constructively), Anyway, and I Also Thought I Would Just Put On My Blog Because It’s Writing, Right? I’ll-Show-Him Who’s More Ambitious, Organized and Has It More Together, Dammit (Pt. 3)

But whay is that is si sisna is the id and prince edward theone in the brothel scandel thatb was really jack the ripper and he was a man of impeccible style. Yea and after I tuk yur fashun adviceabout the moldrobor duran dwraun hat I put a leg on your leg and you were like looking at me and talked about the vampires int he winsow and wer erote to the mall to play cvideo games anfd the hat was there and wr vsited that guy and I said fid you evert ear a whle bottle of asprin? rop ddead [[[][][][][] [[[[REDEACCTRTRTEED!!!! ME TOO I CNA DO IT TOOO!!!!! goop who’si a gfreat cook in tribecvaw with as tellar art cAareer. Oh yae and where;s my Moo Hoo Danny? and the andrean anacshak and it lkooks lie, h guy in the vending machin is like the marjhc cklnreogijsdoi yea and it’s all just a shiner’s parade after all and the walking at queens in the am night with the dayglo wig and a snow cone is thrown at you diod you work it into the look withjustyos mom and like the plastic buvvles int he ahir like the night at palladium and youtook therre hits od sexctsy andf were theopwing up inther bathrtoom oh fiun I locked my ketys in my car and the first date Iw as there what was up oh yea hi. Kill-kill kill krulll kill them all

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A Lone-Star Tale of Tattooed Bull Dykes, $2Million Diamonds and Scarfed Colossus Burgers

For those of you still browsing amongst the hellish kaleidoscope of brand new Annanecromania, here’s a hidden rhinestone. Upon hearing news of Anna’s death, I suddenly and fondly remembered a story I read eight years ago, titled HUNGRY GIRL: The Potted Plant Lady’s Strange Tale of Sex, Money, and Feeding Anna Nicole Smith. The four-page piece was written by Randall Patterson, and was created by, in, and for Vickie Lynn Hogan’s own home state, as published in The Dallas Observer back in 1999. Exquisitely trashy, the journalistic excavation centers on one Sandy Powledge (pictured, right), and her claims that she is (one of) the lesbian lovers that Anna Nicole Smith left in the dust on her way to becoming an inevitable American icon. The muff-mucking news is hardly breaking, but the write-up is a little-known, fun read. Keep in mind that this was “Anna 1999,” and portrays the pre-reality show, but the post-Guess?, post-Playboy, post-Naked Gun 33 and 1/3 (but pre-Skyscraper), and also post-zillionare husband’s funeral Anna. This was a limbo period in her fame, right around the time her biggest exposure was as fodder for “you won’t believe how fat she is now” surveillance video footage on A Current Affair. An exemplary Texas tale from beginning to (unforeseeable) end …and I’ve never wanted a Colossus Burger more in my life.

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